Why are people so afraid to call or check themselves?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Okay, I have seen several threads regarding missing information, non-contact from school, no verification school received application, etc.</p>

<p>Do people feel they need permission to check with a school from strangers, if that person feels something is amiss?</p>

<p>I am not judging anyone, just curious as to why people will spend time asking us here, but somehow are reluctant to call or email the school.</p>

<p>My D had a concern about her scores, so she just called up Collegeboard and it was an easy fix</p>

<p>She emailed her EA school to verify they recieved her packet as it was not online yet</p>

<p>In both cases, the people on the other end of the phone were gracious, and did not seem the least put out by the phone call</p>

<p>So my suggestion is this, why are we afraid to follow up?</p>

<p>I know one of Ds schools did say, via email that they got her application, was that if they felt they were missing something, not to worry, they would contact student in a timely manner to get documentation or whatever, but if student was concerned, feel free to email, as that was the best way to get an answer</p>

<p>So I suggest, at a minimum, to email a school, or fax a note, if you have a concern about application If you can ask here, you can ask the school, they are used to it</p>

2

<p>The fear that even the tiniest logistical element could be a deciding factor is very strong in college admissions these days, in my observation. Hence, the endless anguishing we used to hear about whether to apply online vs. not, use the common app vs. school’s own. The notion that a call might get you or your kid a “black mark on the permanent record” is at play in this particular question, I think.</p>

<p>It’s understandable. All the power seems to be on the other end. Having been through it a few times, I do believe it is really the substance that decides an applicant’s fate - not which app format or whether you called with a question. And, like CGM, I have found admissions’ staff to be almost uniformly helpful and understanding.</p>

<p>Further, I think folks have no clue as to the logistical deluge schools are working with. When DS applied for transfer to JHU (where he is now), it was 2 1/2 <em>months</em> after his app went in before they even had a chance to process and catalog the transfer apps. It’s a shorter time horizon for ED/EA apps, but the same phenomenon. They are overwhelmed. It will almost always be fine.</p>

<p>But I understand the worry. So it’s okay to call. If you get an unfriendly voice, try again another time and hope for a friendlier person.</p>

3

<p>My son did get an email from one of his school’s saying they are very busy right now with all the EA and ED applications and to not be concerned if something is not posted yet. And to please not call.</p>

4

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<p>jmmom~</p>

<p>Yep. You nailed it. </p>

<p>I remember <em>SO</em> well those angsty months of worrying and waiting…and fearing that any and every little thing might adversely affect the dreaded decision. It’s kinda like when you’re a new mom, and you can’t quite decide when it’s appropriate to call the pedi. You don’t want to “look the fool” and by the same token, you don’t want to look neglectful either! :confused: Parenting has a learning curve with one child. The college application process doesn’t necessarily. :wink: </p>

<p>~b.</p>

5

<p>I have suggested emailing if one is really worried</p>

<p>but the dynamic is interesting, don’t you think? adults all wigged out about sending an email or calling for fear someone with a marked will pull kids file and put a big X on it or something</p>

<p>this is what the process as evolved to…</p>

<p>I have told people to give it time, and that if something is missing the school will notify you as many pieces of an application are out of the kids hand, like transcripts but if a reasonable amount of time has passed and your application profile things is seems to be missing something, it is okay to email, and just say am I missing everything</p>

<p>schools give the deadlines so that 90% of thepaperwork is in their hands - but they allow a buffer time for late things from teachers, etc, to catch up, then they sort and file and input into the data base etc</p>

<p>so this thread is two-fold</p>

<p>to say it is okay to check witht he school, but do allow for a bit of time for the school to do its job</p>

6

<p>I have suggested emailing if one is really worried</p>

<p>but the dynamic is interesting, don’t you think? adults all wigged out about sending an email or calling for fear someone with a marked will pull kids file and put a big X on it or something</p>

<p>this is what the process as evolved to…</p>

<p>I have told people to give it time, and that if something is missing the school will notify you as many pieces of an application are out of the kids hand, like transcripts but if a reasonable amount of time has passed and your application profile things is seems to be missing something, it is okay to email, and just say am I missing everything</p>

<p>schools give the deadlines so that 90% of thepaperwork is in their hands - but they allow a buffer time for late things from teachers, etc, to catch up, then they sort and file and input into the data base etc</p>

<p>so this thread is two-fold</p>

<p>to say it is okay to check witht he school, but do allow for a bit of time for the school to do its job</p>

7

<p>I have suggested emailing if one is really worried </p>

<p>but the dynamic is interesting, don’t you think? adults all wigged out about sending an email or calling for fear someone with a marker will pull kids file and put a big X on it or something</p>

<p>this is what the process as evolved to…</p>

<p>I have told people to give it time, and that if something is missing the school will notify you as many pieces of an application are out of the kids hand, like transcripts but if a reasonable amount of time has passed and your application profile things is seems to be missing something, it is okay to email, and just say am I missing everything</p>

<p>schools give the deadlines so that 90% of thepaperwork is in their hands - but they allow a buffer time for late things from teachers, etc, to catch up, then they sort and file and input into the data base etc</p>

<p>so this thread is two-fold</p>

<p>to say it is okay to check witht he school, but do allow for a bit of time for the school to do its job</p>

8

<p>I have suggested emailing if one is really worried </p>

<p>but the dynamic is interesting, don’t you think? adults all wigged out about sending an email or calling for fear someone with a marked will pull kids file and put a big X on it or something</p>

<p>this is what the process as evolved to…</p>

<p>I have told people to give it time, and that if something is missing the school will notify you as many pieces of an application are out of the kids hand, like transcripts but if a reasonable amount of time has passed and your application profile things is seems to be missing something, it is okay to email, and just say am I missing everything</p>

<p>schools give the deadlines so that 90% of thepaperwork is in their hands - but they allow a buffer time for late things from teachers, etc, to catch up, then they sort and file and input into the data base etc</p>

<p>so this thread is two-fold</p>

<p>to say it is okay to check witht he school, but do allow for a bit of time for the school to do its job</p>

9

<p>I think that there simply are lots of very dependent people in the world who need to check with lots of other people before making very simple decisions.</p>

<p>In addition to the questions that you mention, there are plenty of posts on CC that support my opinion. </p>

<p>I don’t think that the posts occur just because applying to college is so competitive now. I think that there are many people who have difficulty making decisions independently.</p>

10

<p>I tend to agree</p>

11

<p>I tend to agree</p>

12

<p>Yes, I agree with NSM. I have seen a lot of this particular problem on CC time and again.</p>

13

<p>The other problem is that most of the factual questions here can be answered by just reading the info on the website related to the question.</p>

14

<p>The reason I ask is because I don’t always know what’s “normal” and it helps me to understand what’s appropriate in terms of non-contact and what isn’t. This is my first kid, so everything seems terrifying to me and a little reality check from time to time is gratefully appreciated.</p>

15

<p>So many students on CC who presumably, like the rest of their peers, live with their cell phones 24/7 seem virtually phone-phobic when it comes to getting information. And it seems as if they’d rather make a decision based on the opinions of 20 strangers who are likely to be ill-informed or partially-informed instead of finding a relevant source of opinion who is likely to be highly accurate…welcome to Future Voters of America.</p>

<p>I’ve railed about this periodically. It results in posts of injured dignity.</p>

16

<p>what I find intersting is that these are often the same kids who want to be independent!!! Seniors who know it all…ironic, eh?</p>

<p>this goes along with some questions like, when do schools have breaks so I know when to tour-arggh-- look your schools up yerself for heaven’s sake</p>

<p>I can’t tell if it is laziness in those cases or what </p>

<p>I just figure if they can type it uo here, they can figure out how to look around a website and find a calendar</p>

<p>Sure, a reality check is good, ie, 24 hours is NOT enough time for stuff to be uploaded, but, if two weeks has gone bym and you kind of feel something is amiss, an email hurts no one</p>

17

<p>People ask questions on this forum about really important things that are frankly over our heads…financial aid and emergencies and such. I think they are just afraid of the people on the other side–it goes hand in hand with the idealization of certain colleges. This attitude leads people to fear the college as something not made up of humans but rather as something that is secret and untouchable.</p>

18

<p>Don’t worry TheDad, I called up Bush on his cell phone to confirm that he would support stem-cell research before voting for him.</p>

<p>Your future is in safe hands.</p>

19

<p>I think zoosermom’s post #14 is a large part of the explanation. As parents (or students) we worry when unsure whether our app has met the deadline (or whatever). Then we kind of wonder if our worry is beyond the pale or not. Comparing notes with other parents here on cc helps give that “reality check” wrt whether there is actually something to worry about or whether we should just “chill.”</p>

<p>This is a valuable part of what cc has to offer, imo. And differs from the folks who come here with the appearance that they will make decisions based on a sort of “cc poll.” </p>

<p>It’s a fine line. One kid might come on for thoughts and opinions re choosing between two schools s/he loves, outlining her thoughts, views, criteria and looking to see if she has overlooked an aspect or anyone has more input. Makes sense.</p>

<p>Another one comes on and says, “Which is better? Which should I go to? Kalamazoo or Klingon State?” No further information, no context. Absurd.</p>

20

<p>I do agree that students ought to make every effort to look up easy to find information on the school website, and be considerate if the school asks for time to process the files before calling to check, however, if enough time has elasped and you still haven’t gotten a confirmation, people are well-advised to contact the admissions office. One of my H’s grad school apps ended up having slipped behind a file cabinet - it does happen!</p>

<p>With all the phone calls these offices handle per hour, nobody is sitting around and marking people off on such things. I sat in the admissions offices while S had on campus interviews and can vouch for the many hundreds of calls they receive - and stupid questions like you wouldn’t believe were well represented! Admissions staff unfailingly were gracious and polite and never once marked anything down of this nature that I saw. Of course if it’s a question they have to refer to your own regional rep it’s a different story, and they certainly may note a specific call of that nature. At some schools that kind of contact can be a good thing, as it displays that all important demonstrated interest. It’s probably not a good idea to constantly bug one’s regional admissions rep with questions easily answered elsewhere, though.</p>

<p>On the other hand, I don’t fault posters here who are comparing notes with one another so far as such things are concerned. Sometimes you CAN avoid excessive phone calls of this nature if you know, for example, that no one else has received that little postcard either, or that last year, they got theirs in late November. Hearing from others involved in the same process at the same time and comparing notes can be helpful, IMO and can give you a better sense of when you should be making that call.</p>