Just a general observation: people tend to be trigger happy when calling other CC users “entitled” or “whiny” and a lot of the banter on here comes off as pedantic quite frankly. Sure, some kids may be pleading a case that comes off that way (entitled/whiny) but don’t be so bellicose as to straight up call them that, show some tact, understand that a lot of the people on here are teenagers with crushed dreams and warped perceptions of the real world. Sure it’s great to dish out some reality checks but I don’t see why we can’t at least try to be kinder. Someone complains about a rejection? Oh well, let them complain, it doesn’t serve justice to attack them, you simply stoop to their level and usually end up coming off as uppity in the process. I mean I hope you wouldn’t say some of these things to the faces of the teens with their extinguished college hopes. It’s a lot easier to neglect something childish than to scold the OP through a strongly worded post.
People aren’t mean here. They respond to every post possible
People are mean everywhere on the Internet. See also: death threats on Twitter, caustic rants on Tumblr, bigoted views on YouTube, harassment on Wikipedia, etc. etc. etc.
IMO there’s a few things going on.
One is that some of the parents here feel entitled to talk to random students as if they were their own children.
Second is that many of the younger crowd are status- and score-obsessed. They have no qualms about telling someone to retake or risk community college after they scored a 2240 on the SAT.
Third - specifically in the thread I think you’re referring to - is that some international students have no perspective on the US system, their own microscopically low chances of being admitted through that system, or the fact that, in the eyes of many US citizens, those microscopically low chances might not be a bad thing.
I don’t respond to international threads. For one it’s too depressing, for another I have no idea. For a third thing, in most cases I’d rather see an American kid get that spot.
BTW, “serves justice”? What is that even about.
I suppose I am one of the “mean” people you are referring to. For years, I have helped domestic & int’l students & adults who have asked for help on issues. But I don’t sugar-coat my advice. If I think someone has totally unrealistic expectations, I tell them.
And I cannot stomach int’ls bashing American schools for not admitting them and giving them money. Does your country give generous money to foreigners?
It is common etiquette on forums to lurk for a few days (or weeks) to read previous posts before plunging in with a post of one’s own. What some people read as meanness is probably just impatience or fatigue from older timers who are here in the first place to be helpful. Many posts here are uninformed (“What is the difference between a Research University and a LAC?”), illogical (“I don’t know my chances but I’ll post back yours”), or obnoxious (“Will I have a better admissions chance if I volunteer to help poor people”). Posters ignore the stickys and previous threads that amply answer their questions. Posters post in the wrong forums. They can come off as incredibly shallow and selfish. Some single-digit posters are obviously here just to pull chains and push buttons. International posters often do not make sense, or have irrational plans. Some parents are nuts. There is a lot of the blind leading the blind. All of this results in some posters sometimes responding to threads in a tone that some think is mean, but is really probably straight talk that some do not want to hear. But I think that CC is overall a very civil corner of the web, in which countless posters take time to be helpful to complete strangers.
Sorry I forgot to warn you. I’m brutally honest. When God was handing out tact I went hiding in a corner.
I don’t think most posters set out to be mean. The moderators seem to do a very good job of reining people in, so if things start to get out of hand it’s generally not for long.
Respect goes both ways. A lot of American teens have crushed dreams now too. US colleges can’t admit everyone and they certainly don’t have the money to give everyone huge discounts. I understand being disappointed when colleges leave a financial gap that families can’t cover. It happens to US students all the time. However, most of our students don’t get to dorm at college so for a young adult student (whose parents can afford the international rates at a US community college) to post a diatribe against our schools for not giving low income internationals huge grants when many US teens have just learned they can’t afford to go away to college strikes me as insensitive. I hope people don’t go out of their way to be mean to others, but that doesn’t mean they have to sit by and allow posters to slag our schools.
And there is Germany for colleges. It’s free from what I’ve read.
Compared to other forums I’ve seen, I think it’s quite nice here! People try to be helpful.
When I speak, I can nuance my meaning with intonation and facial expressions. When I write, only the words get through. I find it hard to sound kind when I write, but I always intend compassion. Sometimes I overuse the exclamation mark in attempt to raise my timbre! Its easy to write like a jack-hole, even if you’re not.
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Sorry I forgot to warn you. I’m brutally honest. When God was handing out tact I went hiding in a corner.
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I’m the oldest daughter of 7 kids. I’m used to telling people what to do, what they’re doing wrong, and I’m not one to mince words. 
That said, I truly do not want kids wasting time and money applying to a bunch schools that won’t work out, their parents won’t pay for, will require mega debt, and/or they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hades to get into.
It’s one thing to apply to a couple of extreme reaches “just to see,” but when that a kid’s entire list is extremely unlikely (except for their one “safety” that isn’t a true safety or they claim that they don’t like), I will speak up in an attempt to stop a train wreck.
Right now, we’re seeing a few “mega loan” threads. Likely this is because decisions were made a few weeks ago, and now the student (or parent) is thinking that a $100k+ loan is the answer. ugh!
No one here wants kids to have a handful of rejections or a handful of acceptances to unaffordable schools.
I don’t think they’re mean- rather, they tell people truths that they don’t necessarily want to hear.
I am 15, and I don’t think my youth is an excuse for bigotry or entitlement, so I don’t think that should be an excuse for other people either. When I see people my age saying stuff like “I deserve to go to a top 20 school because my entire family has and my 3.5 and 2000 show how hard I’ve worked,” I think those people need a reality check.
@NavalTradition You’re mostly right since parents can get pretty defensive and aggressive on here, but wow your comments on international students are harsh themselves. Yes, a lot of international students do not know exactly what they are getting into, and I don’t know how international you mean, but I was accepted into plenty of schools as a Canadian applicant.
I think it is people trying to be honest rather than mean. It may come off as tough love, but it is not intended to be hurtful. If people apply to unattainable schools and got rejected, if internationals feel they deserved free rides and did not get them etc. then people on this forum will let them know that their expectations were unrealistic. IMO it would be a disservice to coddle people, lie to them, and say things turn out differently next year.
If you cannot handle “mean” people in CC, how can you deal with meanies in every other social media?
I am an international student and it drives me super crazy when I see thread(international or domestic) that ask advice for some hyper unrealistic situation, then ask about other random hypothetical plans that make even less sense. As a student with financial hardship, I dont want to see other people to struggle. Just now, I talked one Korean kid out of taking bunch of loans just to go to “good schools” after 14 days of persuasion and reality checks. He was like he believed in his dream or some random, extreme things like his family is willing to seel estate or whatnot, but he finally gave up and decided to go to the affordable school that he was accepted to.
Except oblivious, rude, entitled, and/or whiny parents/students, we are trying to be helpful. There are families who already struggle enough for their children, why would we suggest things that will make them suffer both in short and long runs?
From what u can tell, Americans who post here are not a representative sample of the population. People here tend to be wealthier than average and many are from the northeast, where people tend to be more blunt and harsh than in the rest of the country. Of course now I will get attacked by these folks, saying I’m a @%&# for saying this. And they will be oblivious.to the fact they are proving my point. I’ve lived all across this country, so they can yellall they want.
Instead of mean, I think they are just incredibly harsh. And honestly? It is probably be better to have the rude awakenings via strangers on the internet than in the real world (via your professor or boss).
Post #17, bless your heart, I’m from California.