<p>If you had posted this after really reading the posts here for a while and gotten to know the posters, then you would probably have recognized the tongue-in-cheek nature of at least some of the threads you mentioned above.</p>
<p>dmd77: For some of us, college is the biggest investment we will ever make. We will be paying more than 4 times the cost of our home and that is not even for top schools.</p>
<p>My older daughter did not have much interest in driving. She never took drivers training. She had a couple of accidents with the learners permit and failed the license exam twice. We got her a used economy car. The car has met her needs and has been reliable with good gas mileage. </p>
<p>My younger D was very interested in driving. She took drivers training, got her learners as soon as possible and passed the license test on her birthday. She had expensive tastes. She ended up with a new Toyota pickup with a killer sound system (expensive private school with a double major in engineering and music). We were hoping she would settle on a used station wagon with a rebuilt engine, but it did not have much of a sound system. Too bad, we would not have needed a loan. We have some pretty big payments on the Toyota pickup. The dealer didn’t help at all with financing, but we did get a small rebate.</p>
<p>When it comes to car talk, I believe everyone has different choices to make. I am most interested in the decision making process. We relied most on test drives. We also relied on Consumer Reports. Most of the time CR seemed to rate cars based on turning radius, number of cup holders and other factors which were not important to us. I have found it very valuable to talk with others about they get past the chrome and paint color to make a decision. Yup, the whole process can get intense, especially since there is a lot of time and money involved.</p>
<p>EDad, and I bet you even visited some of the online forums that discussed various car models with other car owners, as well as with those looking to purchase a new or used car!</p>
<p>You may have even visited a Parent Forum that discussed raising teenagers and the angst when they learn to drive!</p>
<p>jhk,
On a slightly different note, I’m glad to hear that your observations show that students who attend state colleges are not doomed in the real world of employment opportunities. And while it’s great to find the best fit and surround yourself with brilliant people at school, it is transitory and only a prelude to decades of career building.</p>
<p>I do agree that there is a lot of intensity on this board. Students desperately ask “what are my chances?”. Parents often speak of going to a state school as the last resort if nothing better works out and that there is no comparison between public and private educations. I have seen many comments such as “My S/D would have been happy at our state school IF the private school didn’t work out, but thankfully we managed to afford private.” </p>
<p>Of course, we love our kids and want what’s best for them. We want them to be successful and happy at the thing they choose, be it medical school or music or w/e. We want them to have better lives than we did. Actually, I do wonder if we parents do inadvertently cause our children more stress and anxiety than is necessary and perhaps make them feel like failures if they don’t get one of those elite admissions.</p>
<p>I don’t think a selective listing of thread titles tells the whole story here. First of all, it’s an incomplete list. Did you not notice the threads on “Mid-level Universities” or the SUNYs? </p>
<p>Also important is the fact that thread titles represent a skewed view of discussions–the title in any thread represents only the thoughts of one person, the person who started it. Some of these people are the more intense people on the board. Furthermore, some of them aren’t even parents, but students who want to hear from parents. Essentially, my point is that the thread titles mask some of the content of the board, and completely ignore the fact that there are plenty of parents who aren’t as obsessed with status, who spend their time sharing their perspectives in existing threads (not starting new threads dedicated to their ideas).</p>
<p>I don’t disagree with your point, but I think you picked a poor examples. Michigan is no Harvard, but it’s not your typical state school, either. The reality is, many kids have successful, happy lives after attending public schools, even public school that aren’t as well-regarded as Michigan. If you want to preach that message, then make a case for how it’s okay if our precious offpsring go to Northwest Missouri State or University of Nebraska or UNLV.</p>
<p>Wait a minute…I take that back. hoedown, what’s wrong with University of Nebraska? Both of my parents graduated from University of Nebraska, my mother is a teacher and my father is very successful in business.</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>Both my parents are UNO grads. I would have attended UNL had I not chosen a smaller school.</p>
<p>I have no problem with University of Nebraska. </p>
<p>My point was simply this: when someone is going to chide parents for not accepting state schools as a good option, then that person should talk about merits of the typical flagships and other state schools students typically are considering. It doesn’t make sense to me to declare “state schools are a good option” (a statement I agree with) and then hold up UM-AA as evidence.</p>
<p>"Why are you parents so intense? </p>
<p>Its amazing how hardcore some of you parental figures are about college admissions for your precious 17 yr olds. Why?</p>
<p>I graduated from a top ivy a few years ago. the ivy degree opens doors to some extent. However, many of my h.s. classmates who went to good public universities are doing just as well as my ivy colleagues. </p>
<p>Why place so much stress on your child? Great opportunites exist for state school graduates, I promise you."</p>
<p>The OP used the words “some of you”.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything that rings false in the original post.</p>
<p>Maybe, the arguments with the OP are because parents are so intense. :)</p>
<p>Contrary to what you say, the majority of posters on the Parents forum hardly fit your description.</p>
<p>Just because your Korean parents may have put ridiculous pressure on you since childhood, doesn’t mean that all parents are like that, and especially not here.</p>
<p>I am sad to say however, many Korean and other Asian parents (like mine) do put lots of pressure on kids to go to prestigious colleges.</p>
<p>WE ARE NOT INTENSE!!!</p>
<p>Since the OP graduated from an Ivy some time ago, I wonder whether how the atmosphere was like at his home when he was applying to college. Maybe the “you parents” applies particularly well to “my parents” and is being extrapolated to all CC parents? As Jane Austen would have put it if she had married “It is a truth universally acknowledged that parents in possession of high school children must be in search of an Ivy degree for their offspring.”</p>
<p>I’m sort of wondering why a non-parent, non-student would even be here? It’s one thing for people (students and parents) to discover and use this site while going through the process and then stick around out of habit and a desire to help out. But to graduate from Harvard “a few years ago” and then come on this site just to be a ■■■■■? Seems kind of odd.</p>
<p>i applied to two college. umich and harvard.</p>
<p>"???</p>
<p>Both my parents are UNO grads. I would have attended UNL had I not chosen a smaller school.</p>
<p>I have no problem with University of Nebraska.</p>
<p>My point was simply this: when someone is going to chide parents for not accepting state schools as a good option, then that person should talk about merits of the typical flagships and other state schools students typically are considering. It doesn’t make sense to me to declare “state schools are a good option” (a statement I agree with) and then hold up UM-AA as evidence."</p>
<p>If your child cant get into UMICH (guessing 30-50% admissions), then i’m sorry. my hs sent ~40 kids to UM out of 400. and no, its not very hard to gain admissions from out of state, either.</p>
<p>JHK: allow me to point out that 40 out of 400 is a mere 10% and that surely a few of those 90% didn’t get in to UMich. They may feel differently.</p>
<p>(I’m a sophomore–almost junior! jeez, time flies–at University of Maryland, who has stuck around these boards over the past couple years to give advice to the newbies)</p>
<p>It’s interesting because sometimes I read posts all over CC and I do tend to agree with what the OP said. When I see a post that says something like: “My D has a 2200 SAT and a 4.0 GPA and only wants to apply to state schools!! What do I do??? She is wasting her life!!”
or “My S was the president of his class for 4 years and played 3 varsity sports, and this wasn’t enough to get him accepted into his top choice. I’ve already called the admissions office 3 times and they’re starting to ignore me; now what??”
…I read that, and then I wonder “Why the heck are these parents so intense?! Can’t they just let their kids be?”</p>
<p>I had a good experience with the whole thing. I started visiting colleges my sophomore year of high school. I always went with my parents, they took notes of things that the counselors and tour guides said, etc. They gave plenty of input, but always gently guided me and never pushed me. </p>
<p>But when it came down to my final decision (NYU Stern vs. UMD business + honors program) … that was all up to me.</p>
<p>And I can’t help but think that quite a few parents around CC would push their children to NYU because Stern has been consistently ranked 20-something higher than the Smith School of Business at UMD.</p>
<p>Anyway, I just wanted to give my input in that I don’t think the original poster is completely off-base, I just think he/she has been generalizing a LOT (and also being a complete “meanie” to those who have responded to his/her comments).</p>
<p>P.S. - edad, I really enjoyed that car analogy, especially the “consumer reports ratings” part. Made me realize that a lot of the sterotyping I was doing of the parents on these boards was pretty incorrect. :)</p>
<p>OK - so my D is nowhere near applying to college (she is in first grade) but it is never too early right???</p>
<p>Just kidding!! I have been helping a few women locally apply to med school and I just recently started mentoring a nice young girl who will be a senior next year and she will be the first person in her family to go to college. I can see how it can all become even more intense if it is your own child applying - I can see how I could easily become wrapped up in the process (especially since I am now with other people’s kids!) because my parents never really assisted me at all - I think it was harder then, no internet etc. Even still, I remember my mother the night before my SAT asking me if I could catch a ride with someone to the test because she had to do something else? I mean, can you imagine? Of course, now she swears that it never happened!!</p>
<p>lindz: glad you enjoyed the car analogy. I suspect most readers thought I really was writing about cars.</p>
<p>yall are a bunch of sluts… please press the report offensive post link</p>