Recently just spoke to some parents that picked an inferior school, vastly inferior, because the kid liked the weather better.
Is this common that weather and location plays such a big role in the ultimate decision?
Because ultimately it’s the kid who has to spend four years of their life there, not the parent?
Parents shouldn’t try living vicariously through their children.
That is what parenting is all about. What parent would allow a kid to go to University of South Carolina over Colgate? See my point?
Lots of parents. There could be many reasons you aren’t privy to - finances, distance, quality of a certain major or concentration, etc. If it’s not your kid, why don’t you mind your own business? Seems like this kid will be happy, and his/her parents are fine with it.
I would have let my kid go to University of South Carolina over Colgate. We set some ground rules and then let our son make the ultimate decision. It worked out for us.
Has nothing to do with money, in fact Colgate was more generous. The kid is out of state and the net cost was lower at Colgate, ironically.
What parent would allow a kid to go to University of South Carolina over Colgate? Any parent who is willing to put aside his or her personal preference and look at what is best for that particular child.
I think it’s probably better for parents to listen to their kids rather than let outsiders nitpick family decisions like this. Choosing a college is rarely a totally objective decision anyway; the “right” college is the one that the family settles on, whether it’s Colgate or USC or Bama or Princeton.
Like has been said, it’s the kid that’s attending the college for the next 4/5 years, no? In that case, I’d like to think that I, as a legal adult, can decide where I want to go- within reason, of course.
If, for example, finances for the fees are to be provided by the parents, THEN I would expect the parents to be the determinants for which college their boy/girl will attend.
On the other hand, if none of the cost for college is imparted on the parents, they damn well better believe the child will want to go where he/she wants to go.
Because it is the child’s life choice - not the parent’s.
There are a plethora of difference between University of South Carolina vs Colgate. It is not patently obvious to me that there is a “right” choice. Its not obvious to me what the “right” choice would be between USC and Harvard. The student must find a place that they believe will put them on a route to successful adulthood. That includes social and moral development as well as academics. And the student deserves to enjoy the experience. So spots, greek life, weather and a host of other non-academic reasons are totally valid.
Our job as parents is to provide advice and then let the chips fall where they may. If we aren’t willing to pay for the state school in this scenario, we may be able to exert some financial power. But the decisions about what direction the child wants to take in life or what they want from their college experience is theirs.
If the kid isn’t capable of being trusted to make the decision on his own, he probably isn’t ready to go to college.
I don’t see your point. And I think that is about the last thing parenting is about… curious, are you a parent?
Because children are autonomous beings and not an extension of their parents?
I chose a “vastly inferior” undergrad over a CC top university. My parents never said a word. Going to a top 5 PhD program this fall so must’ve done something right.
Well, there are about 25,000 kids, some with parents, who allow them to pick USC. I don’t even find this choice surprising. You might think Colgate is vastly superior, but just because it has a higher rating on some scale you like doesn’t make it superior. Many people in the south have never heard of Colgate but of course know USC. Big time sports, nice weather, many choices for majors. My friend’s son picked USC because it had nice brick buildings, he was happy there, and now has a great job.
Don’t you think being happy has a big part in college success?
So if this was your child, you would say that weather was a good criteria for making a decision? There is certainly a very big difference between the quality, prestige and employment opportunities between the two schools.
Why would a family make this decision instead of allowing outsiders and anonymous strangers on the Internet make it for them? Is that really what you’re asking? I’m sure that South Carolina, like almost every other flagship public university, offers a first-rate education to all who choose to pursue one. It probably has more resources in some fields than Colgate does. Anyone who spent this winter in the northeast, furthermore, can sympathize with a decision to go to SC instead of upstate NY. Many of us have been surprised by decisions that others make in many areas of life, but most of us don’t feel that it’s our call to make.
There are many reasons why SC might be a better choice than Colgate. It all depends on what the student’s priorities are. We’ve been lulled into a false belief that there can be a ranking of schools, but it cannot work for everyone. There is ONE methodology, yet every student has their own unique perspective and thus methodology. In the end, it is up to the student, with the family’s support, to choose. Foisting decisions upon them is exactly what’s wrong with modern parenting. Good for the young student for making their wishes known and sticking with them.
This is a silly question. Parents should certainly be an active part of the college selection process, but the decision comes down to the kid (who is a person and a unique individual) for the final say. Kids aren’t always reflections of their parents, and as such the parents may not always know what’s best for the kids.
If a kid thinks that they’ll do better and be happier at a mid-level state university than they would be at Harvard, then it is their decision. Should the parents question the factors influencing such a decision? Absolutely. If Bobby has been dating Susie for 4 months, and wants to give up his chance at Harvard to go be closer to Susie at State University X…then yes. Question it very actively. Bobby and Susie will probably break up in 6 months anyway. However, if Bobby wants to go to State University X because of the unique research opportunities that are tailored more to his interests, and the wide range of student organizations, on top of saving some money, AND being closer to Susie…then the decision is clearly a bit more researched. It should still be questioned, but not “vetoed” by the parents. The decision shouldn’t be vetoed in any case though.
edit - Weather can be a huge influence. Should it be the only criteria? No, but it can play a part. I’m from Northern Illinois, and after this last winter I keep seriously questioning why I’m doing my undergrad in an area with the same weather.
Well you are all very liberal parents. I am glad I listened to my father and went to Notre Dame rather than where I wanted to go.
Sorry to get you all whipped up but it basically shows what I thought about parents these days.