I never had a direct female boss, but is this a thing? From the Atlantic:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/the-queen-bee-in-the-corner-office/534213/
I am a male lawyer and I have not had any problems working with female lawyers. In fact, I tend to hire female lawyers over males. That said, it does not surprise me at all that most legal secretaries dislike working with female lawyers. That has also been my experience, especially in larger firms.
I have had a number of direct supervisors who are female. I have no issue working with either gender - the only issue I have is when the supervisor is a jerk. And being a jerk is an equal opportunity thing to be.
I will share this: When I was a young woman starting out as a supervisor in a manufacturing facility, I was transferred to an area led by a female. Everyone said I would hate working for her. When I asked why, they told me that she was really hard on women. I never had a single issue working for her. After we had worked together for a while, I told her about the warning - she told me that it was true that other women who had worked for her didn’t like working for her. The reason: They didn’t do a good job, and she let them know what they were not doing that needed to be done. It turns out there were men who didn’t like working for her either - because she would hold anyone accountable, male or female - but everyone just focused on the fact that there were women who didn’t like working for her. Maybe they complained out loud more than the guys did??
Oh, men have never been known to bully other men
Based on 30 years of experience, that used to be the case when female lawyers were more rare. They were very concerned about ever being mistaken for a secretary. Now it’s not a thing at all.
Women who make it that high up have no problem having hard conversations about performance. If you do have a hard time, you get weeded out. So of course they seem harsher than men as a group. BC men can still get to management even if they are afraid of confrontation.
I’ve had more “queen bee” experiences than problems with men bosses.
I’ve had four horrible bosses. Three of them were women.
I’ve been a lawyer for 25 years. I’ve had female supervisors/partners and worked with female judges. I think most of the issue, in my view, comes from the fact that because there are fewer of them the bad apples seem to stick out more.
Two of my bosses were horrible, one woman, one man. But the absolute best boss I ever had was a woman. She saw herself as a mentor and was rooting for the success of all of her reports. The lack of jealousy made her a really good teacher; it also made it easier for her to point out areas for improvement in a way that made it easy to take.
Oh yes, I fully agree with this. When I worked in big law I came into a room shortly after a female partner had interviewed a prospective woman lawyer, and she commented to me, “huh, this woman just took several years off to take care of her kids. There’s no way she’s going to be able to handle the demands of this job” as she threw the resume into the garbage can. Or going back ten years earlier, another female partner I worked for would give me a big work assignment every Friday at 4:30 and want it on her desk first thing Monday morning; I overheard her comment to another partner that she was pissed that I was going away to visit my boyfriend on weekends. Percentage-wise there are very few female partners in big law. My personal experience is the the female partners with kids and stay-at home spouses (male or female) were nice, but the ones who didn’t have spouses, or whose spouses also worked, were difficult to work for.
I had great women bosses. No drama what so ever.
I know an office that is heavily male. The culture there is lots of put down jokes. I wouldn’t think of that as being particularly pleasant.
I work for a female boss. She’s the best boss I’ve ever had, and it’s a delight to work for her.
But we’re in communications – a female-dominated field – and she’s not exceptionally high up the hierarchy. She didn’t need to be a superwoman to get where she is.
Things might be different if I worked in a context where the boss needed to be a superstar to get into her position and expected similarly extraordinary achievements and dedication from subordinates.
The title of this thread is a sort of “When did you stop beating your wife?” phrasing.
I have almost always had female bosses. No issues whatsoever.
The only boss I’ve ever had a problem with was a boss’s (male) boss who was sexist as all get-out and tried to implement a dress code that would essentially only allow women to wear dresses and skirts (it was pulled after less than a week).
I work for a woman now and have for the last 4 years. She is amazing. She is a superstar in her field and I don’t know how she has enough hours in the day to do what she does… but still manages to be an incredible mentor to me.
It’s not just bosses who bully. My female co-workers at my first job out of college were the pettiest, nastiest mean girls ever. I’ve seen junior high cheerleaders treat people better.
I’m with gouf, my least favorite managers have all been women. I shoulder on and figure for the most part they must be insecure. Men tend to blow off steam or get mad if they “lose” if they take a position and it doesn’t go their way and then get over it and move on. Women tend to hang onto to “stuff” for days on end. I’m more like a guy that way - I have a private as possible hissy fit then it’s gone and over and I’m back to my normal. It’s also been my experience that it is easier to argue with men…they will argue their position endlessly and not ever feel like you are personally attacking. Argue with most women and they will take it personally more times than not with an attitiude that if you argue you must not “support them” as opposed to you not supporting the issue at hand. But that is just MY experience YMMV.
At my best job, at one of the Harvard medical schools, I had various supervisors, male and female, over more than a dozen years. Never a complaint. It was when I worked in small places that I ran into trouble, with female bosses that were inflexible about changing an hour here or there. I also worked for a famous female prof who thought nothing of calling me at 10:00 pm Saturday night or wanting me at her house at 8:00 am Sunday morning. My current boss is a female and couldn’t be better., so much depends on the person.
I don’t know, but I agree with a previous poster that many of the women I have worked with have been just plain mean and petty. I’m female BTW. One female co-worker was a lying sociopath - and that’s not hyperbole. My best work experience was in when I worked with the same great group of men for many years. I also supervised this group for several years and I’m pretty sure they were happy with my management style - I was always easy going and flexible and I think they appreciated that - we had to work late and travel a lot so I tried to make things a stress free as possible. I worked for the same organization in two other locations and never found another working environment as fun and as pleasant. I think it was just luck in having some nice compatible people to work with and didn’t have anything to do with the male vs female thing.
I have been a lawyer for over 30 years and in that time have had 5 bosses, the last 2 female. My current boss is terrific, a very nice person who wants everyone to succeed. The only thing I don’t like is when she critiques how I dress - I have put on a lot of weight and am too ashamed to shop. She’s only slightly chubby and doesn’t get it. My last female boss was a harpy, harridan, witch who I referred to as “Cruella Deville.” She delighted in verbally abusing subordinates, drank heavily and was well known in our circles for her unpleasantness. During the one year I reported to her, I went on anti-depressants. The day I was downsized was the last day I ever took one.
As for the legal secretary issue, I actually put myself through college and law school as a legal secretary. The only female boss I ever had as a secretary was at a job I worked after I took the bar and while I was awaiting my results; legal secretary jobs paid better than paralegals. She and I became lifelong friends. I think that as a secretary, I was excellent, and as a boss, I understand the challenges they face, but I am very demanding because I know how to do the job. It’s a lot easier now with computers with spell check so I get incredibly annoyed when I get work back that reads - “The defendant are” or “the defendants is.”
I didn’t go into Big Law. I have always worked for insurance companies and have managed to have a life. I don’t make as much money as I might otherwise but I have a quality of life.
I was tracked for management early in my career and decided I wasn’t interested. I felt I wasn’t tough enough to be a boss.