Do you think that people dislike college because they are not college-material? Why do you think that most people dislike college because of the social aspect and not feeling accepted? Why is it that a lot of people seem to struggle with this? Do you think that most of the time it is actually the people at college that are not accepting or do you think its the individual person’s fault for not feeling accepted? Would you say that most college environments/people are the same?
In my own experience, most people love being in college. The ones that don’t love it can derive their feelings toward it for many reasons. Many people have a hard time academically, and many people struggle socially. We all approach social situations in very different ways. It comes very easily for some people, but others have a hard time meeting people and making friends. Sometimes people cause their own dislike for college, and other times it is because of outside influences.
I’d also like to add that you’re not likely to see people just post “FYI - Loving College! No Issues!” threads. So it seems like there are more unhappy people than I think there actually are.
That’s very true. The many people that are loving college obviously don’t have a reason to come online to talk about how much they don’t like college. It creates a big misrepresentation. It’s worth remembering that people on CC don’t always represent the typical college student.
Likewise, applicants who are rejected by colleges seldom post that on CC, except for advice on how to file an appeal.
College is a big change for a lot of people - it is a newfound independence that some don’t adjust well to.
I think most students love or like college, and that we are seeing a biased sample here because - as @SusieAnne says - people usually don’t post about super positive experiences for no reason.
That said, when I saw students unhappy in college in my role in res life or when teaching, it typically wasn’t because they weren’t college material, or because they were isolated and not feeling accepted. Most students find a niche and even at Columbia, most students who were admitted were completely capable of completing the work and graduating. In my experience it was usually one of two things: 1) being super stressed out, usually needlessly, about competitiveness with classmates and after-graduation potential, and 2) constellation of things that I think are all related to transitioning to adulthood.
In the first case, it was mostly students who were already doing well but because of their competitive atmosphere didn’t realize that they were doing well, or were unfavorably comparing themselves to their peers (“comparing their insides to other people’s outsides,” as I like to say). They felt like they were falling apart while their friends had it all together; I would always point out that they just couldn’t see their friends’ meltdowns just as their hid theirs from their friends. (That had never seemed to occur to most of them before.) Or they were super stressed about getting a job after college and working themselves to the bone to try to ensure good outcomes.
In the second case, I think some students simply struggled with handling their own business for the first time. Or they had mental health problems that existed before college but were triggered or intensified by the college environment (especially the stress of competition), and/or they were away from home and had to figure out how to manage them in a new place without their parents’ direct guidance.
Do you ever think that a college/students may be to blame for another student feeling as if they don’t belong? Do you think that anyone can find their niche at any college regardless of location and how the people act?
For example, what about a student who doesn’t have the same values as the rest of their classmates or who has nothing in common with them? Would that really be a social issue if they couldn’t identify with their classmates?
It’s extremely statistically unlikely that EVERY SINGLE CLASSMATE has the exact same values and that they are exactly opposite of the student in question. Almost impossible, probably.
But it can seem hard to find the people who think like you. I feel that way currently.
But there is hope. There has to be someone you will like, wherever you are.