<p>I find myself jealous of men who shake hands so comfortably. The young professional friends of DS don’t know how to greet me. They shake hands with other men without batting an eye, but it just feels awkward for me when they shake my hand. And I get the sense they feel awkward shaking my hand as well! I am a hugger and often just hug everybody but that also gets awkward. Even among themselves, they shake hands so comfortably, but not so with women. Why is that? Even among friends in our social circle, it gets weird. Some men will give me a peck on the cheek, others don’t. Sometimes, with those I don’t know all that well, it feels awkward. But, with other men…the old reliable handshake works every time! For those in the business world, has shaking hands among women become commonplace? Not my world, so I’m not sure.</p>
<p>I wonder if this is a generational thing… I am a woman in my 20s and I shake hands with everybody. But I have noticed that, with the exception of work where everybody shakes hands with everybody, sometimes older men seem unsure of what to do. If I am alone people always offer to shake, but I have noticed when I am with my boyfriend sometimes they shake with him first and then look at me hesitantly like they aren’t sure whether or not to shake with me, too. I always offer my hand, the hesitation just seems silly to me.</p>
<p>Maybe your DS’s friends feel awkward because they can tell you feel awkward. Even those who hesitate with me at first no longer seem uncomfortable once I’ve made it clear what I expect to happen.</p>
<p>I am a big hand shaker. People are quick to pick up your discomfort. So offer your hand first with confidence and a smile. It will be shook</p>
<p>I’ve never noticed women being uncomfortable with handshakes. I’m not too observant and I have a pretty dominant personality so maybe that’s why.</p>
<p>I’m a 50 year old woman in business who knows the etiquette on this issue from way back. Men shake hands with men, women with women, and men wait to be offered the hand from the woman. That could be why older men are holding back. They are waiting for the woman to extend her hand first. I agree with musicamusica…just be confident and friendly and extend your hand first!</p>
<p>At about 50 now, I can relate what I learned, and was told it was proper manners:
a man shakes a lady’s hand when she extends hers first. Back in the old days it was assumed 2 men would shake hands, but not an automatic assumption about a man and a woman.
An old rule today perhaps, but I suspect many today are still vaguely aware of it and it can make for an awkward transition to today’s manners. But younger women(that want to shake) should be aware of the idea, and should extend theirs first to avoid uncertainty.</p>
<p>Much like holding a door open for a female- some females accept it simply as a common courtesy, while others are offended by it. Manners in transition.</p>
<p>Wow, this discussion was helpful for me. I’ve always wondered what was going on. I’m a female engineer, so the situation comes up a lot.</p>
<p>I worked most in an engineering-related capacity, later sales; in both cases, men would routinely offer a hand to me- there was less disctinction based on gender; it was about the role one played in the group. They might just nod at the assistants, male or female.</p>
<p>I happen to like the custom very much. It would seem terribly old-fashioned to have all the men shake and sit there waiting for the woman to cue them, in a work-related scenario.</p>
<p>I believe that it is important to teach children how to meet and greet others. I taught my children at a young age to extend their hand and say “it is very nice to meet you Mr. Smith”. When they were younger, adults were always impressed with how easily they greeted adults and now that they are young adults, it has served them well. Unfortunately, many children are not taught this skill and behave awkwardly in theses situations as adults.</p>
<p>Fishymom, We too taught the kids how to greet at an early age ( no limp fish handshakes) and also to make eye contact when doing so.</p>
<p>I was taught to wait for a woman to extend their hand before shaking it, since not all women like to shake hands. Not saying the latter is true (or that all men do), but at least afaik that’s the proper etiquette.</p>
<p>I never noticed a problem, I guess because I stick out my hand. Partly because I’d much rather shake hands than kiss everyone which is what is expected around here for most friends - luckily not business relationships - yet!</p>
<p>I havent noticed it too because like mathmom, I extend my hand without hesitation except when I greet really close friends then I have to do the hug and cheek kiss or when I saw a person coughing or sneezing into his/her hand then I just hold a cellphone in one hand and another object in another hand to pretend I couldnt shake the persons hand.</p>
<p>We do. But I always go to wash my hands after. If I am too lazy at the moment or sink is not available, I most likely will avoid shaking hands. I do not believe that men think this way.</p>
<p>I am a 50+ female handshaker. I worked a man’s world and learned that handshaking is an art and opinions can be formed about you based on your shake. Please teach practice with your kids (esp daughters) to perfect a firm and dry handshake.</p>
<p>I’m in my late 40s and I am a female handshaker when I meet people. I think the difference is between women who work in settings where that is what people do, and women who do not. I’ve noticed women my age who have been at home for twenty years raising kids do not generally shake hands with peers of either sex.</p>
<p>It always makes me nervous when my doc. shakes hand with me. Who else he shaked hands few minutes ago? I hope my D. will be an MD some day and I hope she will not shake hands with her patients, they might not feel good about it at all. I hope that she will not shake hands with her co-workers either, who knows who they shake hands before and what they touched in that office visited by many very sick people.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen, doctors typically wash their hands between patients, use sanitizer, AND use new gloves. So, I’ve never been too worried about shaking their hands.</p>
<p>The double cheek kiss seems to be very regional. Very common around NY/NJ–not common at all in Seattle. It always takes me back when I visit back east on all the kissing comes my way. Even people I barely know like friends of relatives.</p>
<p>I am a handshaker and taught dd to be a handshaker too. Firm and friendly.</p>