<p>Please read my essay and tell me what you think.</p>
<p>I chose Hamilton because I found here a balance between my learning prospects and the study environment. The athletic facilities are and it was rewarding to find a Tae Kwon Do -my favorite sport- organization sufficiently fortified to appear in the college’s website. At Hamilton I wish to acquire a strong cultural basis in order to become a well-rounded student. Hamilton’s famous “open” curriculum is both a challenge and an opportunity to choose the correct courses to enjoy my stay at the college while learning in one of the most popular and well-respected majors of Hamilton: economics. As an international student, I am aware of the importance of the cultural exchange among the community and I am confident that Hamilton, as a small liberal arts college with a closely knit community, will be an appropriate environment for it.</p>
<p>I think you’ve got some language issues. There are a lot of really odd sounding phrases.</p>
<p>I don’t know what you mean when you talk about “learning prospects” and “study environment.” I also don’t know what “acquire a strong cultural basis” means.</p>
<p>The athletic facilities are --missing word?</p>
<p>The “Hamilton’s famous open curriculum” sentence is run on. It needs to be split in two.</p>
<p>By study environment I mean a place or environment that is favorable and helpful for learning.For example: a library.
Maybe I can replace “acquire a strong cultural basis” with “acquire a strong cultural background”. What do you think?</p>
<p>I also corrected this: At Hamilton, the "open curriculum, will be both a challenge and an opportunity to choose the correct…</p>
<p>I have French classes now so I can´t correct it all now. Thanks for your help quialah. :D</p>
<p>“Cultural background” makes me think of ethnic traditions that you might have grown up with. I think what you’re trying to get at is that you want an education that will turn you into a “cultured” individual? Perhaps you could use “a broad liberal arts education” instead?</p>