<p>Can’t say that I disagree with him after watching both of my parents suffer through various medical procedures (some horrific) in their seventies and eighties. I want to avoid all of that for myself and not subject my children to having to deal with a sick and miserable me.</p>
<p><a href=“Why I Hope to Die at 75 - The Atlantic”>Why I Hope to Die at 75 - The Atlantic;
<p>I saw the video and it really concerns me since I have only 11.5 years to reach that age.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the article but I have a dear friend with ALS. She has four children and was diagnosed when the youngest was born. At the time they gave her 2-5 years. It’s been 16. She is on a respirator, can barely talk, cannot move independently. She has suffered bed sores, near death due to H1N1, blood infections and every indignity known to man. But she still wants to live and enjoys her life in many capacities. She can still laugh at jokes, opine on politics, advise her children, be there for her friends. She has made me view terminal illness differently and made me realize that the will to live is a force to be reckoned with.</p>
<p>I agree with the sentiment. My parents in law’s last few years were miserable as we’re my dad’s. Mum is in a care home and very unhappy and not in a good way physically or mentally. Feels like we have lost her already, yet every time she undergoes some new misery I just wonder how much more does this lovely woman have to endure (she has a biopsy scheduled tomorrow). </p>
<p>Hard to put an expiration date on it. I just don’t want to get to the stage where I lose my independence and control over my bodily functions.</p>
<p>Well, good for him. That’s not my philosophy. We’re long-lived and healthy in my family, both sides. I am 56 and my grandpa just died last year at 99, still living in the house my mother grew up in. My mother is 78 and owns her own therapeutic massage business. She is vital and can stand on her feet and give eight massages a day if she wants to. She went to massage therapy school when she retired from the local school district at 60. She doesn’t need the work, she just loves what she does. (Though it does bother me a tiny bit when people think we are sisters.)</p>
<p>Nope, I plan to take care of myself and live as long as I can. DH and I DO have a living will, though, and have specified that we want no heroics and do not want to be kept alive artificially, but if I am as vibrant as my mother at 78, why would I think 75 is a good time to check out? We had our first and only child at 40; I hope to be in his life past 35. Picking an age to “hope” to die just makes no sense to me. I don’t buy his arguments.</p>
<p>I just want to go quickly, in my sleep. The age doesn’t really matter.</p>
<p>^^^Yes, @scholarme has the right idea and didn’t need a long-winded article to make a more relevant point. ;)</p>
<p>Gee, my dad is 77 and still teaching half-time as an engineering professor! He, my mom, and I spent two weeks in South Africa this summer. Dad is scheduled to go back to South Africa in two months to lecture. I’m glad he didn’t kick the bucket at 75!</p>
<p>All I got from this article is that the author does not want to do anything to prolong his life and will even stop early-detection screenings because he just doesn’t want to use resources that sh/could be spent on the young(er). But he also doesn’t believe in euthanasia or physician-assisted suicide, so I’m not sure how he plans to check out exactly at 75 other than “hope.” Good luck with that. I think many people (most?) would not want to endure what @Gourmetmom’s parents did, so it might make sense to say don’t artificially prolong my life when there is little quality left, but as long as there is quality, why choose a number? The world is certainly better for having my mom and @MaineLonghorn’s dad in it.</p>
<p>I want to go out at around 68, because once i hit 70 I already know i will be kinda crazy.</p>
<p>You can’t put a particular age on it. Mum was in wonderful health and very active till her mid 80s. Always took very good care of herself and ate well. The rapid deterioration of the last few years have been all the more shocking and heartbreaking. Wish she could have passed peacefully and happily in her home as she always wanted. In her sleep like scholarme said. It would have been hard to lose her suddenly, but nothing like watching her suffer now.</p>
<p>Wow, I’m sure happy that my mom and dad didn’t die at 75. They’re almost 87 and 83 and are still going strong. They’re in the art business and left today to do a show in NY. They’ve recently bought a new car that they hope to last them for many years, and are looking forward to hosting our entire family for a long holiday weekend next month. My dad has had some health issues but fortunately, he isn’t ready to give up. And I certainly don’t want to die at 75!</p>
<p>While many of us disagree with the number (having seen our parents competent, healthy and happy long past 75) I agree with the idea. I have a friend whose father died of a heart attach while snorkeling in the Virgin Islands at 84. She was furious that he took such a “risk at his age” traveling and doing strenuous activity.<br>
I’m looking at it as a model. </p>
<p>I read the article yesterday. The author says no pacemaker. At a point I worked in a pacemaker clinic, and was heartened to see all the elderly folks in their 80s and 90s living independent lives, and the pacemaker was a no brainer help with keeping that functional life. The point, is when to turn the pacemaker off. When to refuse the antibiotics. </p>
<p>Most of us health care folks want to be no code after a point, avoid life on a ventilator and putting family through hard decisions. Have those discussions with family, put it it writing, and state your choices out loud to health care providers. </p>
<p>But yes, faced with hard choices, and increasing disability, many of us do choose life rather than saying no. My dad was quite debilitated at the end. For most of his rational life, he’d say he’d prefer to be taken out and shot, should he get to that point. When there, well, I could see him clinging to the meaning and relationships found in his days, dementia and disability or not. </p>
<p>I do not expect to live to 80. Both DH and I have always put strict restrictions on what we will pay for concerning health and welfare. I might go for a pacemaker, but no radical cancer treatments and nothing that wouldn’t be covered by insurance. After watching my mother slowly die from Alzheimer’s I would swallow a bottle of pills before I would put my family through that. </p>
<p>I heard a comedian once say he wanted to die on his 100th birthday- shot by a jealous husband.</p>
<p>My husband’s father did get ill until 88 and died at 91. He was reasonably healthy no Alzheimer’s at all.
I don’t remember he took anything on a regular basis except maybe aspirin for slight heart problem. My grandfather lived until the age 90 without taking any medicine. I hope I have the long live gene. Both of my aunts on my mom side are in the 80s, so I hope my mom was an anomaly. My grandmother on my mom side died in the 90s but she was slightly deaf.
So I expect to be alive and kicking into my 80s at least. Not sure if I will make till 100. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to put a cutoff number on it. My mom is 90. She’s in Assisted Living and has some dementia, but she has no life-threatening health issues. She is surrounded every day by attentive caregivers, has dinner every night with her BFF, sees her family frequently, and watches TV a lot which she enjoys. She goes to the craft classes, plays cards, and I take her out to lunch every Saturday. Would she rather still be living the active life she lived at 75? Sure. At that age she was still travelling, shopping, going to the gym, and driving. But she’s largely forgotten that. She lives in the moment, and she enjoys her life. </p>
<p>My dad had multiple serious health problems, and more advanced dementia. But still, he also enjoyed life up until he got very sick about 4 months before he died. At that point, we had many hard conversations about when to stop treating him for acute issues. I personally think we could have and should have let him go a month before we did, but the rest of the family had a harder time accepting that he wasn’t coming back from this. He was 87 when he died. The last 4 months of his life were hell. But 12 years before that were really pretty good.</p>
<p>I think we have to be careful about comparing our busy active lives with those of our parents in their 70s, 80s and 90s. It is a terrible thing IMO when a family clings to a parent who is clearly ready to leave this life. But if the parent is happy and not in pain and has adequate care, then why is advanced age a problem?</p>
<p>A friends H, went quickly, in his sleep a couple years ago.
Only he was just 60, and it was fairly unexpected.
My family isn’t very long lived, but I figure Im going to enjoy the time I’ve got.
My mom died at 75, which was 30 years longer than my dad.
I just want to live long enough so that my kids don’t feel they have any unresolved business with me.
So I may be here a while! :)</p>
<p>My property manager died in his sleep. I think he was around 60ish.</p>