Why is it so hard to understand my insecurities about being expected to be highly successful?

[wirebowl]

Here’s how I view success. Suppose you have 2 groups, X and Y, and that the people in group X generally end up in 6-figure salaries, while the people in group Y generally end up earning a mediocre salary. Now, it might be tempting for parents to place their child in group X, as that’ll give them the best shot at success.

But here’s the thing: There won’t be anything impressive about someone from group X working in a 6-figure salary, as it’ll be expected of them. And if they don’t end up in a 6-figure salary, they’ll come across as a loser, as they didn’t achieve what was expected of them. However, if someone from group Y ends up in a 6-figure salary, that’ll be very impressive, as that’s way more than what they were expected to make.

You could say that I was put in group X. Personally, I would have been happy with a modest career and a modest salary, but because I’m in group X, I feel under great pressure to succeed in life. Despite the logic that I used when express my resentment of being in group X to other people, they seem to think me crazy, even though it should be obvious why it doesn’t feel good to have so much pressure on you.

[happy1]

It seems you have split the world into two parts – in reality the world is not just black and white – there are many colors and even shades of grey as well.

And FWIW I don’t judge people based on if they have a six figure salary or not. There are tons of honorable, meaningful jobs that don’t pay well but that do good in the world. (For example my D, a caring and very bright woman, is a speech pathologist – she may not earn a ton but she helps people learn (or relearn) how to communicate – and as her mom I think that is pretty terrific.)

Personally, I would not worry about your perceived “classification” – simply strive to find a college major and a career you enjoy and work hard to do the best you can.

[Groundwork2022]

So you judge people by their salary but not by their positive impact, or whether or not they are a good human being?

Tell me… in which category would you have placed Mother Teresa? Martin Luther King? The Teach for America participants? Jesus?

As for your predicament, OP: “To whom much is given, much is required - not expected, but required.” (Andrew Young) That might explain why you aren’t getting the sympathy you are seeking.

[MaineLonghorn]

I think you could benefit from counseling.

[Happytimes2001]

I know some people who have seven figure salaries who are terrible people. And I know some people who make very little who are amazing. Money does not correlate to the value of a person or the value a person brings to society. Sometimes it is quite the opposite. I could give you examples, but you know them already.