Hugs.
Maybe your son could choose one night a week to bring takeout dinner. Or order it for you if it’s hard right now to choose.
More hugs.
Wishing you strength and moments of joy during this trial!
@lotsofquests
I was just wondering about you the other day and thinking about how difficult would be the decisions in this weird pandemic time. If my mother were still alive, harsh as this sounds, I think I would have had to prioritize my sanity and keep the shower aide and in home PT. That’s much easier to say when it’s theoretical, and when she was mid-90s, and demented, and had been asking to die for a couple of years. All that makes it a different choice. But i do think about all the people who so desperately need outside help and have to make the horrible choice to forego help or risk the disease.
Thanks, 2020, for making hard lives even harder.
I hope you can chip away at the things that are most troublesome and find triumph in the little things, like ordering a meal in, rather than defeat. I have a family member dealing with a lot of anxiety in this pandemic time and succeeding at small choices is helpful for them to feel a tiny sense of control over life.
I think I do have lots of moments of joy; having such nice comments from CC really does help.
Unfortunately the shower aide had to be the first service to end. H was hospitalized with pneumonia last year after she came to the house with a bad cold. I hate giving him showers so I let her come against my better judgement. The therapist situation was a bit more complicated. We had been paying an OT who taught at the local college who wanted to do some therapy instead of supervising students. We had met her when H was in the rehab facility and really liked her. She was great but we knew it was a short term solution because she was pregnant when she started with us. Mama -to -be arranged for H’s absolute favorite therapist from rehab to come during the maternity leave. Favorite therapist had left the rehab after H’s second stay to develop a program at a hospital near us. She could only come once a week but it was so great to see her again. Unfortunately she was only here about 3 times when Covid interfered. Because her real job was in a hospital, she thought it was too dangerous for her to be near H. Neither H nor I are disciplined enough to do his exercises so he is losing strength in his legs. This heat wave hasn’t helped; he has stayed in his bedroom where there is ac.
Younger sister finally called today to thank me for the mask that I sent her. Didn’t mention my birthday. H says I should lower my expectations of my family. I guess he is right. They are not likely to change so I am just hurting myself. I do have wonderful friends.
In these times of Covid, I (and the rest of the world) am doing therapy via phone or video. Is that a possibility for you? For me, it helps.
Wishing you a brighter day.
Wise sibling once taught me: “No expectations = no disappointments”. Helps, but only a little! Hope things turn around for you soon @lotsofquests.