Forgot that at some point the general had back surgery. And he is usually a crew of one, not just a guy who tells others what to do. So that held things up a bit too.
I totally enjoyed reading this post and think you should become a writer ( or are you, I missed this?). Very entertaining and angsty all at once. And just WOW! If you have the money (LOL–just think of this as another contractor coming up the stairs to talk with you) Take the lot of you to an nice hotel suite for Christmas Eve and Christmas night. Tell everyone to pack a bag and do not tell them where you are going. Hang in there!
Years ago when we had a major flooding that completely destroyed a retail store my ex was running. And this is what a friend contractor would do - he rebuilt our store first before any of his other jobs. He also waited for us to get our insurance money to pay him. The store looked better after he was done with it.
I managed build out of our basement years ago (a new bath, separate walk out bedroom and a living space). The contract I had stated I paid based on completion of each stage. My contractor was such a flake that by the time it was 90% done I only paid him less than 50% (he would leave out little stuff undone). I used to call him every morning at 7 to see when he was coming. His wife loved me because she knew he would go fishing if I didn’t call him. I got it done on time. 
Kudos for keeping your sense of humor!
Our fully finished basement flooded in our last home. Zero fun and definitely took much longer than expected. One of our first houses had a flooded basement after a sump pump failure the same week our son died. Family members in town for the funeral handled the clean up. We lost a ton of stuff but no one cared since the ultimate was actually lost.
We just finished a massive remodel and renovation of our current 115 year old house. My brother is a contractor and gave me good advice. Plan on an extra 20% for costs, on top of the built in contingency, and double the time line. We stayed on budget but went way way over the time line. Similar issues - HVAC guy was in the hospital and a one man show. Contractor didn’t trust anyone else to do the work. Flooring guy had to be out three times. Cabinets for kitchen ordered incorrectly. New cabinets lost in transit. Wrong interior doors delivered, 8 weeks to reorder because they were custom, etc, etc, etc…
I did not keep my sense of humor. I was in tears almost daily. Reminded my husband, also daily, that we should have gotten a turn key condo or, at very least, not lived in the house through the renovation.
We are lucky to still be married ?
Update. Further delays. Everyone is shocked.
Stayed home this morning because the flooring guys are supposed to be here. They are not. At 11:00 wife has a break at work and finds out, and starts calling everyone within a 50 mile radius to figure out where they are. I remind her that the poor guy on the phone has nothing to do with the problem. She glares at me as she continues to tell him how angry she is at his company. No issues are solved.
About 30 minutes later the installer texts me. Apparently a side window on his truck was broken. And apparently that now takes 2 days to fix. Last time it happened to me a guy from the glass company fixed it in my driveway and it took 30 minutes. I also thought trucks could be driven without a side window. I guess I am behind on current glass replacement technology and safe driving measures. Remind me to not roll down my windows this summer, because cars now can’t be driven if a side window isn’t able to be sealed properly. At least I know he will be back soon because he needs the money. Who knows what the glass installer is charging him for that 2 day job.
So he won’t be back until Monday. The plumber has figured out that my wife has a couple guys lined up to break his kneecaps if the work isn’t done before this weekend, so for the first time in 6 weeks he is anxiously texting me asking when he can come finish. It may also be that I owe him $250 and payment for the work he is still needs to do, and I implied that I will hand him a check as soon as the work is done. He probably needs the money to buy beer this weekend, who knows. At least his banker is off of our backs for another month.
More to follow. Hopefully soon.
@oregon101 definitely not a professional writer. But thank you for the compliment. I think my humor is ok, although the writing is pretty sloppy.
@momofsenior1 more than once during this process, and most recently about an hour ago, I have browsed Realtor.com to check the prices of condos in the area. At this point I am more in the mood for an upscale rental where I can just call someone when a lightbulb burns out or the toilet is plugged. Maybe a hotel.
I read an article in the Onion probably 20+ years ago, and the gist of it was that by giving up all of his evenings and weekends for house repair, and paying for the repairs, the protagonist was up about $25 after 10 years of home ownership in the suburbs. Sounds about right to me.
Forgot to mention that a couple of weeks after the flooding the heat pump died. Still pretty hot when that happened. So 2 weeks of no air conditioning in a place where every house has air conditioning and has it for a reason.
Also another $14,000 contributed to this dumpster fire.