<p>I have never heard of anyone who wakes up in the morning singing Zipity doh dah…I’m rich. The opposite for adults who wake in the morning saying, how am I going to pay rent is. Teach your kids that you are rich? No. How inappropriate and sick and manipulated that is. If your kid has a brain and are older it is the way it is. Parents of wealthier kids should, by example, teach charity and obligation to our society as a whole. If one is on the other side, I would strongly advise to keep some of the stress away from the children. </p>
<p>Why wouldn’t I tell my kids that they are rich? They are rich. What they really need to be taught is that they are lucky to be so rich, and that they need to have compassion for people who aren’t rich.</p>
<p>I think Hunt makes a great point about the distinction between feeling rich and feeling secure. </p>
<p>My own H is like this. If someone were to say to us - you are doing better than 99% of Americans - that is comforting to <em>me</em> and I feel secure - as secure as one can ever be. It’s not comforting to <em>him</em> - he still has, a legacy courtesy of his past, of “but it might all go away tomorrow and then what.” But objectively speaking, we are better off than 99% of Americans. Just because there are people who live in much grander houses and own private jets and whatever doesn’t change that. </p>
<p>I am married to a man who is much more an optimist by nature than I am. I have learned a lot from him. Growing up in California and living there when we got married, I thought we’d never own a house. He, on the other hand, would check out library books about buying your first home. Sure enough, we ended up buying a house. Granted, it wasn’t in California. Will it help if I mention Shawn Achor is a Harvard guy?</p>
<p>Unless one is a tfb you aren’t “lucky” to be successful. Odds are that you worked for the money. And being a TFB doesn’t mean that one isn’t working to maintain the family money. </p>
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<p>This is exactly the description of my folks. They came to this country with nothing, lived through the depression, but by the end of their lives they were very comfortable. Not uber rich, but very financially secure–they were the poster children for the “American Success Story.” Despite this, they were never happy and always worrying (needlessly) about money. For example, they lived in a bad (crime-ridden) neighborhood even when they could have moved to a safer place. (My brother eventually got them to move.) There wasn’t one decision they made that wasn’t governed by monetary concern. They were constantly watching pennies and scrimping and saving and expecting doomsday. For their 50th anniversary (they didn’t want a party) my brother and I took them and our families out to celebrate. They couldn’t enjoy themselves because the food cost so much (believe me, we weren’t dining at Per Se). To me, that’s pathological. I don’t want to end up like that.</p>
<p>What is a TFB?</p>
<p>And anyway, recognizing that one is doing better than the vast majority of Americans (let alone the world) has nothing to do with whether one works for that money or not. No one is saying that people who make above $350K (or whatever the cutoff is, I really don’t know) aren’t hard-working. One has nothing to do with the other.</p>
<p>I was scratching my head on that one, too, PG. I think she means trust fund baby.</p>
<p>What does working hard mean? </p>
<p>I just walked passed some roofers. They work hard. I hate that job. How much does that job pay?</p>
<p>I was told you get an education so you don’t have to work hard. </p>
<p>Hunt, here is the man I was talking about earlier. One of the most influential Americans of the 20th century.</p>
<p>I liked the documentary mentioned in this link.</p>
<p><a href=“Edward Bernays - Wikipedia”>http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bernays</a></p>
<p>Ellebud, more hugs for you and hugs for Buddy, too.</p>
<p>I don’t buy everything I read, but I am willing to take in some of the new information which I think may help me form healthier habits and have a greater sense of well-being. We’re not going to find anyone who is perfect, so I glean what I can. Better than staying still and rotting. Adapting is part of survival.</p>
<p>If you were born in this country, you are lucky even if you had to work hard to make your money. If you were born somewhere else, and managed to get here and then make your money, you are still lucky. Even if you made your money in someplace horrible, entirely by the sweat of your brow, you are still lucky, because there are people who worked just as hard as you and were just as smart as you who were wiped out by a typhoon, or who got sick and died, or who had their possessions destroyed in a war, etc. Plus, there is hardly anybody who succeeds without any help from any other person.</p>
<p>I know I’m lecturing again, but there are some pretty deep-seated American ideas that, in my opinion, are pretty provincial.</p>
<p>I wish I could find the source but I read something a while ago about John Muir. It seems he was in a conversation with someone while at an event with many of the wealthy people of California at the time. During that conversation he indicated that he was the richest man in the room. The other derisively told him that there were men there that could buy him many times over. Muir said yes but I have enough they never will. I find it ironic that this conversation has gone on for so long as we are nearing Thanksgiving. I think that if we took time to feel grateful for our situations and what we have we will feel a lot wealthier than if we spend time comparing ourselves to some ideal we have or to what others have. In other words if we have enough it’s easy to feel grateful and therefore wealthy. I try very hard not to compare what I have to others rich or poor. It’s easier said than done, however, I think it’s up to me to decide what I need to be happy. It’s likely a lot less than I have. </p>
<p>^ Different characters, same story, from intro to John Bogle’s book Enough</p>
<p>A poem by Kurt Vonnegut</p>
<p>True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in Peace!</p>
<p>TFB is trust fund baby. And thank your good wishes for our Buddy. He is one of the sweetest old men in the world. </p>
<p>I find that post interesting @hunt.</p>
<p>On another thread I said I felt, as a woman, that I was incredibly fortunate to have been born in America. That, no matter what the issues, at least being in America I’ve had a chance at freedom, a chance at equality of opportunity.</p>
<p>@Romanigypsyeyes pointed out that there are better places to be a woman, that the US is better than most, but there are better places than here.</p>
<p>I think when people like you and me say we are fortunate, the next generation doesn’t necessarily feel the same way.</p>
<p>I would say that we were lucky to be born in the US at a time when there was still class mobility, when people could still “make it.” But, I would also say, that there are plenty of people in the US who have not got a chance, even with their new education, given the debt students now graduate on.</p>
<p>I read an article in the WSJ today which said that people like me are distorting the income inequality issue. The WSJ doesn’t think it’s a problem that so many people have no shot at a middle class life in the US. I think it’s the worst thing facing us, and no amount of feeling fortunate I was so fortunate is going to make me feel like those with less opportunity than I had, and I had less than the baby boomers had, should “feel rich” just because they are Americans and can get clean water.</p>
<p>just to be clear: I feel like I have more than enough, myself.</p>
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<p>LOL. My neighborhood is on the list. I never realized that renters here spent that kind of percentage of their income. Looks can be deceiving I guess. In my street, I think we are the only household that doesn’t employ maid (live-in or Molly maid) and/or gardeners.</p>
<p>I agree with post #592. I always tell my children that they are lucky even though they work hard and they should be thankful and grateful. Digging ditches, roofing, gardening can be hard work but it doesn’t equate with financial success.Somehow, people who don’t believe luck plays any part in their success seem very entitled to me.</p>
<p>This reminds me of the commencement speech given by NYT’s Bill Keller (an alumnus) at my D’s graduation.</p>
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<p>It’s all relative and it’s all psychological. Many of my co-workers think we are rich. Most of our friends think we are
not. </p>
<p>I know we are rich compared to not only to most people in other countries, but to many in this country. I consider us extremely fortunate, blessed, lucky etc (whatever you want to call it) but I don’t think we are “rich”. I consider rich to be someone who doesn’t have to worry about the future. </p>
<p>We have always lived very much below our means but also very much below our friends standards of living. We have assets. We downsized to get rid of our mortgage. We have no debt. If I lose my job tomorrow we can live for years and not starve. BUT…we can’t live for 40 more years, or whatever it would be, until we get put in the ground. To me that means we are somewhat wealthy, but not rich. I am sure others will disagree, while some will think like I do. </p>