Why This Discussion is Ridiculous

<p>In response to shanghaiwes: I get it. I get that there's family pressure and personal pressure that comes from the fear that we won't fulfill our goals, but part of growing up is learning how to internalize pressure and work through it. These discussions don't exist for the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies for a reason-competent adults aren't as insane as we are right now. Also, I was blessed with normal parents who did not go to elite colleges, I am so grateful for that right now. I don't know your personal situation, but again, part of growing up is realizing that your parents don't know everything and a lot of times, they are wrong.</p>

<p>That said, I go to one of the most rigorous, prestigous private schools in the US...I GET it...my point is that we need to stop feeding into the cultural phenomeon that says we need to get all crazy about this college process. It doesn't have to be horrible, I think it's actually kind of fun. For example, the interview-I love to talk about myself, how is that hard? I'm kidding, but there are ways to make this process fun. I think we just need to refocus and remember that there are over 3000 colleges/universities in the US alone-everyone doesn't have to go to Harvard and Harvard (or Princeton, or Yale, or Williams, or Amherst) isn't right for everyone. I for one visited Harvard and hated it. It does happen.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>skeptical sr, you rock my socks...power C05</p>

<p>YAY ASIANS haha, ya my parents kinda suck that way too</p>

<p>Skeptical Senior --</p>

<p>I have pondered so often what you state in your post; the gift you have been given of 'normal parents who did not attend elite universities', or something to that effect.</p>

<p>If I might, may I challenge you young people who appear destined to attend these elite universities to answer the question of how you will handle the issue for YOUR children when they begin the college prep process?</p>

<p>I am one of those "normal" parents who attended a 'non-elite' college, the child of parents who did not attend college at all. My S may or may not be attending an 'elite' university, and my H and I have been well aware of the unintentional gift we have given him of our own 'failure', as it might be interpreted on this site. There was nothing to live up to, nothing to exceed, in our case, although it is certainly possible that despite the fine education he might receive, he may never duplicate our financial success, which will only worry us if it worries him.</p>

<p>But what happens to the children of the children whose parents are from HYP and the other Ivies, the ones whose families have 'sacrificed' (whatever that means) for them to reach this goal ?</p>

<p>What are your thoughts on that subject, since many of you have nothing to do but twiddle since you've sent in your EDA's at this point?</p>

<p>I'm very interested as to how you all foresee the parenting role for yourselves, for that will help those of us parents here on the site understand how, if we have, we have overstepped our bounds, and how, if we can, we might support you in your goals at this time.</p>


<p>Skeptical Senior NYC:</p>

<p>A few months ago, I Googled the term "SAT prep books" for the New SAT for Class of '06. From this search, I happened to stumble upon this website. As I looked through the forums, and saw the countless 1500s, 4.5 GPA's, and stellar EC's, my outlook for school drastically changed. I'll admit I was pretty involved in school for the typical high school junior (having a 3.9 GPA and an SAT score of 1450). But, despite this, for the past few weeks, I've been trying to see how the academic profiles of those who have 'succeeded' by gaining admissions into the top 10 colleges.</p>

<p>From thinking about your post from the past 2 days during random times, my outlook has once again changed as a result of this website. I guess I will start to be a bit more relaxed, and maintain a genuine interest in high school - but not one motivated by the aim to get a perfect GPA. I've always had that mentality, but after visiting this website for about 50 times, my mindset has changed. I probably can speak for others who have not posted yet, but your post has set me thinking in a different direction the past few days; thinking in the mentality I used to have. Hopefully, I'll keep it this way for the remainder of junior year, and the upcoming academic years.</p>

<p>So, here's saying 'thanks.'</p>

<p>Skeptical... you need to understand the sole cause of this forum. Everyone knows that most of us are students answering and asking questions for fellow students. The main reason for asking questions is that every person needs some emotional satisfaction and I believe that if a student is so determined that he/she is ready to share all his vitae/ resume on the website then we need to answer honestly. And with this honesty emerges some trust that eventually leads to removal of the less important parts of the resume. Thus this process helps in improving the way the students' application reflects. Therefore to make this long lesson short... Everyone posts on this website to be able to be better prepared on how to present themselves in front of admissions counsellors. </p>

<p>I myself have posted my resume on the website at several places and openly trust everyone to critically examine my case while acting as admissions counsellor and actually give me an additional chance to make corrections to the final draft. </p>

<p>It is really important to understand that if a person knows one thing and another person knows a different thing then by sharing their information both of them would end up having more knowledge.</p>

<p>I know you have written this mail with good intentions but I just feel that whole forum is not useless if we make efforts to utilise it wisely.</p>

<p>Love you all </p>

<p>I hope I did not offend anyone</p>


<p>Skeptical has posted one of the most insightful posts in this forum. I think people are just too obsessed with the process. But then, why I am here? My son is only in the 8th grade.</p>

<p>Skeptical, do you go to The Brearley School?</p>

<p>being a minority in amongst asians does kinda suck (to Random Person). im facing a similar situation here in korea, in an international school...DAMN frustratin.</p>

<p>I loved that post. Seriously, I think the college admissions process IS overrated...but what can we, as byproducts of this society, do? I want to have a normal senior year. I want to enjoy my life. I want to spend time with people I like and people I love instead of stressing over college apps, grades, and homework, but, guess what, I do. I think this is especially true for the kids (I am one of them) who have a geniune love for one or two specific colleges: its like a beautiful dream, and we will do everything we can to stay in it. The saddest thing is, over the past few months, after I've stumbled onto the CC site, I've unconsciously seen my own chances dwindle. The worse thing about this site, I think Skeptical Senior is trying to say, is that it kills the self-confidence of so many great kids at a time when self-confidence is needed the most.When I see a kid ****ed over a score of 1530 , I pause and think back to my 1400+ score...the extracurricular activities, no matter how stellar it might have seen at the time, have lost its value, and my grades, my rank, my courseloads...are nothing but "barely-there" oks...I do not know if anyone else feels like this, but I do.
My parents, they are awesome, they are Chinese Hippies...they think material things are overrated and a top college is not a survival tool. I agree. However, I fell in love with a specific ivy...what can I do? Nothing. I am rambling, I know. But the point I am making is that, most kids on CC don't want to be ultra-obessesive...we are this way because we've worked four hard long years...I honestly do not want to arrive at nothing. </p>

<p>It's a dream, and heck, I bet everybody visiting this board will do everything they can to stay in it. </p>

<p>:) I will try to forget about the 30+ days until decision time...but, honest to god and to myself, I doubt I will.</p>

<p>I agree with most of the OP's post, but disagree with some points.</p>

<p>It is not the case that all the parents know nothing. Many have been involved in college admissions for years - not just through several kids, but by interviewing for ivies (and believe me - I got plenty of written info and verbal input for that job!), having friends/former college room-mates who are adcoms, etc.Many of us know far, far more than the kids who ask questions, which are often simple details about the difference between ED and EA, problems about financial aid forms, etc. etc. etc.</p>

<p>I also partly disagree with the idea that any school you go to is fine. While I too know people who are highly successful who went to (for example) BU rather than Harvard, I know that the difference between the school where my son goes and the one where I volunteer is night and day. He goes to a top ten LAC; I volunteer at a below-mediocre state U (not a flagship). This place is like 9th or 10th grade. You wouldn't believe the terrible, terrible papers students write - like stuff my kids did in Middle School -and they still get on the Dean's List! There is absolutely no comparison WHATSOEVER between the quality of the teachers, of the other students, of the opportunities, of the facilities - I could go on and on forever.</p>

<p>Well... I'm not saying there's no difference between Harvard and Fresno State.</p>

<p>But the difference between HYP and top 100 schools is negligible, you can make yourself or break yourself at either.</p>

your post have truly enriched my outlook. Even though I now look back at the college app process and remember it as a blur because it was dominated by all this madness,self-esteem,expectation thrown in together. I wish I had read your post when I started. Nonetheless, I think you help many of the students who are going thru this now.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone. That was the point, just to get people thinking. And, as Dizzymom said, I don't have much to do right now collegewise since my ED app is in. Of course there is senior class work etc. but I think I may be coming down with a small case of senioritis coughcough...yeah, I feel it coming on...</p>

<p>Responding to what Dizzymom asked:
I consider myself blessed to have parents who did not attend elite universities, simply because I see the pressure that my classmates have from their parents to attend the same elite universities that they themselves went to, or ones of equal caliber. My parents push me to do MY best, even if it's a B, as long as I am doing the best that I can. My parents said, over and over again, in multiple meetings with the school college counselor, that they dont' care where I go, that it's MY decision and they want me to be happy (that said, they want me to go to college and encourage my goals-but they would probably encourage my goals the same as if I told them I didn't want to go to college and wanted to go to LA to persue an acting career). I know I am blessed. I also have parents who have shown me that financial success (and I know in life I want to be financially sucessful, I'm from NYC, don't blame me) is not contingent upon graduating from HYP. </p>

<p>To Shubham: I know the point. I'm just tired of 9th graders asking about the college process and people being so obsessed. I know what you mean, I want to go to a great college because i've worked hard for four years, but my point is that I will end up at college where I end up and that doesn't take away from what I've done the past four years or who I am if I don't get into a US NEWS TOP 10 school. </p>

<p>And no, I don't go to Brearley. We play them in Field Hockey though.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>I think many of us are too obsessed with the college brand names. I quarantine that no one will become a homeless if he/she goes to any of the top 25 colleges. Even he/she is in love with Harvard or MIT, I am sure that there are many other excellent alternatives. It doesn’t seem that anyone ask, “What are my chances of good education”.</p>

<p>Many posters do not care whether they like HYPSM or not, but they must go to those schools. If they go to Brown or University of Chicago, their parents, communities, ancestors’ would die in shame. I don’t know about it but my son has only one life to live. Who am I to say that he must go to Harvard? Well, I am not as open mind as Skeptical’s parents. I probable will ask God for a refund if my son wants to go to LA for an acting career. </p>

<p>Skeptical, I ask you about the Brearley school because you sound like one of those smart girls from Brearley. I would do shoe shopping too if you go to a hyper competitive school like Horace Mann. LOL.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>t1388, I have to agree that people tend to be superficial when they look at colleges. I know that I have been, but I believe that as students get closer to college, they recognize that the pinnacle of achievement is admission to Harvard or MIT or Princeton; thus, most people who have strived to be the best, like me, believe that the perfect end to high school is admission to the elite. I am a realist. Even though I may get into Harvard or Princeton, my cross-section of the elite ivy, I have no real intention of going to Harvard or Princeton unless I get a truckload of financial aid of the need-based variety. Instead, I plan on going to UVA or William and Mary, schools that have high reputations but are not ranked in the same echelon as MIT and Stanford.</p>

<p>I really like this post though. If not for attaining an honest opinion, I love this post because this is humanity. Everywhere on this post are people who think they have a right to judge one persons life by simply looking at a page of clubs and activities. I do not trust the judgement of the people on this post; yet, I have posted my stats twice because I enjoy the replies I get. Maybe I am vain, and maybe I am a bastard, but in the end, this forum has become an intrical part of my senior year.</p>

<p>Just for all of you who are bound to be rejected by the big elites, do not despair. A school does not make you the person you will be for the rest of your life. People who get into Yale have both suceeded and failed, just as people who have gone to Louisiana Tech University have suceeded and failed. Please, enjoy this post, but remember, in Spring, when the letters come, you have to be realistic and be happy that you are even getting to go to any college at all. I had better knock this reply off before I have to be more sappy. Let me end by saying: GO WAHOOS!!! WIN THE ACC!!! CANES and HOKIES ARE GOING DOWN IN NOVERMBER!!</p>

<p>Wow! I am so inspired, you wouldn't believe it. It's okay to go to a good/average school. I wonder how many people would say their lives are better today because of where they went versus their drive once they were there</p>

<p>It's so difficult though. It's easy to simply shrug things off and say, sure, it doesn't matter where I go, I'm still getting a good education. However, sometimes it's not that easy to tell your that. As much as I force myself to put things into perspective - that the end of the world isn't a rejection letter, I still feel that way. Maybe it's because people like us have worked our asses off our entire life and would like something in return for it. I understand the satisfaction of simply learning is enough. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that it's better to learn than to get good grades (there's a difference). Honestly, I really don't know anymore. Frankly, I've just been so swept up in the entire process that I feel that I'm just playing a game. I tell myself that it won't matter, but still I have to play the game. I guess every person's situation is unique to his or herself. The thing that really puts everything in perspective for me is my health. This year, my senior year, I was just so stressed out with everything that I would oftentimes push off sleep, averaging a mere 4 hours per night. Naturally, my health declined and declined to a point where I was constantly tired, malnourished, and incessantly coughing. I ended up with a stomach ulcer. That truly pushes things into perspective for me. Honestly, the best advice I can give to others is to try your best, but don't try so hard that you end up nearly killing yourself. What's the point of all these good grades and great test scores if you don't even have the health to enjoy it. What also puts things into perspective for me is the realization that while I'm worrying about college applications, kids in Sudan, Asia, and even America are worrying about where their next meals will be coming from. It just sickens me to death how selfish we really are. I've decided to take my own advice. I'm going to Six Flags this Saturday with some friends to unwind. I'm going to thoroughly enjoy myself.</p>