Why would someone not get a fraternity bid?

<p>Hi. My younger cousin just recently participated in rush week. I don't know a lot of the details, but I do know that he was very disappointed he didn't get a bid. Actually, he seemed rather shocked. Things seemed to be going along well. He was was invited to his chosen fraternity's events throughout the week and was expecting a bid. What could have gone wrong? All his friends have been accepted to fraternities and sourities. It seems a bit mean to me.</p>

<p>Why would he not be extended a bid? Due to lack of wealth or affluence? His major? Where he is from? </p>

<p>What can he do now? Any chance to join now? Would they even accept him? Any chance next year? or is sophmore year too late?</p>

<p>Clearly, he will now be seperated from his friends in way of hanging out and housing. Its like starting over socially. What can he do now? He likes to party (not to excess), but where can he go if not to a frat?</p>

<p>My cousin is very likeable. He is a guy's guy. He likes and plays sports. He is smart and committed. He is averagely handsome. He is a cool in a aloof way (i.e. not a man of many words), but not cocky. He is down to earth. Seems to have always made friends easily and has many lifetime friends from home. He is not a prince charming type, but the girls seem to like him. He is not from money or affluence. He is middle class from a town that is mixed pretty evenly between white and blue collar families. All his friends go to college, but he is the only Ivy leaguer. Could this have anything to do with it? </p>

<p>What do you think?</p>

<p>I think you're trying to troll us with some pretty negative implications about fraternities.</p>

<p>Uhm yeah a very good number of my friends and I are not part of a fraternity and we honestly don't really care/ feel much of a difference in our social lives/ blocking. You both need to chill. Your friends do not become completely different people.
And by the way, if each and every one of your friends are in frats, then there is something really wrong with your lifestyle.</p>

<p>I am only responding to this because maybe some other people might have these fears - I know you are a troll.</p>

<p>Ithacakid....How I am being a troll or making negative implications? I graduated from college nearly 10 yrs ago. I went to a state school with a pretty non-existant Greek life. I just felt bad for my cousin. I was just hoping that his college experience at Cornell would be all that he wanted it to be. I am just trying to educate myself on what might of happened so I can talk to him about with some idea of how big a deal it is.</p>

<p>Colene...thanks. Its good to know that a fraternity is not the only key to an active social life and connections. I am not sure that the rejection is that big of deal to him, but it just was a surprise. Again, I am so not a troll (honestly, not even sure what that means.)</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>There are 40+ fraternities at Cornell, with a wide range of interest group. Often people don't get a bid because they are too focused on selected few and not give other frats a fair chance. There are fraternities that are still looking for pledges, so if your cousin wants to pledge he still could. As others have mentioned, one could have a good social life without joining Greek life. I think only 30% are part of Greek at Cornell.</p>

<p>A lot of fraternities aren't just looking to recruit whoever shows up. They want to recruit people that they feel will fit in (kind of like college admissions). There are different personalities each fraternity has, and maybe your cousin decided to pick a fraternity that he would not fit into. Also maybe he picked a highly selective fraternity. I know there are some fraternities with about 200 guys rushing for 15 spots. The odds of getting a bid are very low. Just tell him to keep his head up and rush next semester/year.</p>

<p>There are some possibilities as to why, even if someone had been rushed by a frat all the way through, they could end up without a bid. Even if he was realistic in his choices.</p>

<p>It's due to faults in the system, as unlike with Panhel and sororities, there are no guarantees because fraternity rush isn't as regulated by the IFC (in terms of logistics):</p>

<p>My ex didn't get a bid, even though he's a very social guys and almost all his friends did. He wasn't looking to join the same houses as his friends though. With fraternity rush after the whole week of smokers/contacts go by, fraternities basically choose who they want their pledge class to be and invite them to the Saturday event. However, they have to include a few more people (5-10, probably) more than how many they could take, since obviously not all the guys they invite will accept their invitation.<br>
So basically, a frat that can take 20 guys may invite 28 guys to their last event, expecting that approximately 8-12 or more guys will turn them down in favor of another invitation.<br>
Thus if for some reason that frat is more popular than usual this year and 23 people accept their invitation instead of the 18 they were expecting, they have a problem, and would be forced to cut those 3 extra people that last day. This is problematic because usually the guys only pick one fraternity to accept the last invitation too (the events usually conflict), and so those 3 guys get screwed over, unless they have very close connections to another fraternity already that could be a backup (unusual). </p>

<p>This isn't true for all fraternities. Some just want as many guys as possible! But the one my ex was hoping for, for instance, has a quota instituted by nationals, so it was a problem when they ended up with more guys than they could take.</p>

<p>HOWEVER, it really is not the end of the world. If he's a social, fun person, he'll figure it out. He can still hang out with his friends in frats and sororities. He can still make new friends who aren't in greek life. Even frats and sororities are having a hard time figuring out parties with all the new rules--it's not like years ago when there are mixers every night. Now the mixers have to be dry for freshman and etc. Also, there are always bars and house parties. </p>

<p>It might be confusing at first, but things will work out, he can still keep is friends as long as he makes an effort. It does take an effort when you don't all live together, but it's like that for everyone. I have friends scattered across a ton of different houses. The girls I'm currently living with are friends from freshman year and together the five of us represent four sororities. The ex I was talking about who didn't get a bid is now living in a fraternity annex with a bunch of the guys he was friends with freshman year who happen to be in the same house, and still hangs out with his friends in other houses.</p>

<p>There's still late rush, fall rush, and next spring; but I'll go ahead and try to answer the topic's question.</p>

<ol>
<li>"Fit"</li>
</ol>

<p>Some people just don't click with certain house brothers. I can't say much about this since I have yet to be in a recruitment position, but fraternity members generally do look for people who they think will fit a certain mould or personality. This is in a perfect world, though. There is some BS to recruitment.</p>

<ol>
<li>Quota</li>
</ol>

<p>Someone mentioned it above. Some houses just semi-haphazardly cut people because of high numbers of rushers.</p>

<ol>
<li>Students</li>
</ol>

<p>Cornell has people at higher academic levels than most schools, but that doesn't mean everyone is tolerant or legitimately social. People very easily get into social circles at this school; and exclusion (based on attire, looks, wealth, race, etc.) is very rampant. Fraternities are just another example of this; especially since some rushers know people in frats before ever being a Cornell student. With this in mind, I don't think you can count anyone to make a fully rational decision without some form of bias. This is the best way I can explain it in words.</p>

<p>Thank you all for your replies. Alamode....I think you described the situation pretty much how it happened. He got two invites to the last event. He chose one. I think there was a surplus of a hand full of guys and he was cut as most were intending to accept a bid. He had a backup, but didn't see it through due to a conflict. I guess it can be like a chess game. </p>

<p>Anyhow my cousin is rethinking his options and moving on. I guess no one likes to feel excluded. Character building right? </p>

<p>Again, thank you for your insights and assurance that fraternites, although a positive experience, are not the only option for a social life and campus involvement.</p>

<p>One last question....is it somewhat common for a guy not to get a bid? or rare?</p>

<p>I'd say its relatively rare. the system usually works out, if it didn't they'd change it.</p>

<p>I don't think it's that rare. Houses can only hold so many people; and hundreds of students rush. It's pretty easy to get cut with a certain personality and/or poor decision-making.</p>

<p>^^that's true, I meant I think its rare for someone to not get a bid even if they are invited to the last event before bids are given out. I'm sure plenty of people drop out beforehand because they didn't get any contacts and such.</p>

<p>Something tells me that "the cousin" = OP. Just a hunch. =P</p>

<p>As to limited space in housing and bid quotas it really depends on the house. I know of one where at least five rushees rejected bids, though I guess that might be in line with wield projections.
Sensei, I agree, particularly with the attempts to cite anything but social ineptitude as a cause.</p>

<p>I am not "the cousin", but you may believe whatever you like and it doesn't change my questions. I am just a concerned family member. He is quite far away from home and he seems truly disappointed by the outcome. I didn't think it was a big deal, until I started to look into it and realized why he might be feeling so rejected. I know nothing about fraternities so I didn't realized what was involved, how popular they are, and how serious it is. </p>

<p>IthacaKid...although I think rather a mean response, you may have honestly answered one of my questions. Maybe my cousin's rather friendly, yet at times cool and aloof, nature was misread as inept socially (although if that was the case, why invite him to all the events?). Maybe he didn't sell himself. He is not worldly, wealthy, or connected. He has lots of lifetime buddies, has had a few girlfriends and dates, is committed to his interests, quite athletic, likes to party, well liked, etc. </p>

<p>Who really knows why this worked out the way it did, but he is a wonderful young man (I am not just saying that because he is family), he will do well, find his niche and go far. College really is just a nano second in his life. I just wished that he wasnt left to feel excluded in a place and group that he so looked forward to being part of and worked so hard to get into. I guess its a life lesson. I can't help but think the frat system can be harsh, but I guess that's inherent in it being exclusive and invitation only. Just would not be my thing...I have "more the merry" and "everyone is welcome" mentality.</p>

<p>
[quote]
IthacaKid...although I think rather a mean response, you may have honestly answered one of my questions. Maybe my cousin's rather friendly, yet at times cool and aloof, nature was misread as inept socially (although if that was the case, why invite him to all the events?). Maybe he didn't sell himself. He is not worldly, wealthy, or connected. He has lots of lifetime buddies, has had a few girlfriends and dates, is committed to his interests, quite athletic, likes to party, well liked, etc.</p>

<p>Who really knows why this worked out the way it did, but he is a wonderful young man (I am not just saying that because he is family), he will do well, find his niche and go far. College really is just a nano second in his life. I just wished that he wasnt left to feel excluded in a place and group that he so looked forward to being part of and worked so hard to get into. I guess its a life lesson. I can't help but think the frat system can be harsh, but I guess that's inherent in it being exclusive and invitation only. Just would not be my thing...I have "more the merry" and "everyone is welcome" mentality.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>This is such a perfect scenario description post. At least this topic will be archived.</p>

<p>^ditto10chars</p>