<p>I don’t know if this post is for real or not. </p>
<p>If it is for real…</p>
<p>I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams making decisions at age 7 around which college my child may be able to get into ten years later. As well, the focus is already on “an Ivy”, even particular Ivies and particular career paths and curricula! </p>
<p>To me, the ONLY issue right now for your child has to do with proper and developmentally appropriate placement. Each child differs greatly in this way. It sounds from your description, that your son’s current placement is working though I am not 100% sure the motivations behind his teachers suggesting to spend another year in the current grade and not accelerate. I can’t tell if they think HE needs that and it would fit him better OR if they are generalizing that “if he is the oldest in his grade, he can be at the top, have better grades, get into a better college, etc.” I have seen that exact mentality in my neck of the woods with some parents of boys. I actually think SOME boys who have late birthdays for their grade do benefit from an extra year. I even have a nephew in another state who had a late birthday for their school’s entrance date and they chose to wait a year to enter him in K because socially and emotionally, that seemed like the right placement for HIM and knowing him as I do (he is now 16 and a soph in HS), it was totally right. He is intellectually very bright but physically, socially, and emotionally, I cannot see him having been a grade ahead of where he is placed. HOWEVER, where I live, there was an entire contingent of parents of sons my D2’s year, who ALL held their sons back from entering K even though their birthdays met the deadline (here the deadline is Sept. 1). It was in vogue to do so…with perceived advantages for their sons to be at the top of the class, rather than for specific individual developmental reasons. These were bright kids as well. My D went all through school with them starting in nursery school. I recall one third of her nursery school class as being a good 15 months older than she was. That is because my D entered early (the opposite phenomenom). These boys were not developmentally “young” and surely could have been in their regular grade. Years later, one graduated HS a year early. Another went off to boarding school (another “advantage”!!). The one who went to boarding school ended up at the same Ivy as my older D, by the way. </p>
<p>I am against keeping a kid back only as a way to have “an advantage” later on. I don’t see it that way at all. I see waiting an extra year as a “gift” of time for those who are not socially or emotionally ready for their chronological grade. </p>
<p>The decision should be made solely on his proper placement socially and emotionally and academically, not to game some “advantage” that does not even exist. Your son could end up improperly placed as you indicate, even bored. If you see social and emotional issus in his current placement, different story. I’d have to hear why those teachers recommend him not moving onto the next grade. If it is just because of his birthdate alone, that is not a good reason. If it has to do with HIM developmentally, that IS a good reason. </p>
<p>My oldest D met the K entrance cut off date by FIVE days. I have to say, THANKFULLY. This WAS the right placement for her even though she was the youngest in her grade all through school. This went against the current “vogue” thing where parents of kids with any summer birthday, waited an extra year even though their children could legally enter K. Anyway, this D went on to be valedictorian. She was not only properly placed, she had to have many accomodations in MS and HS to accelerate beyond her grade (she did in elementary school as well, but that was easier with multi age classrooms). So, not only was she ready for her grade, she actually had to have acceleration and independent studies in high school. She is the one currently attending an Ivy, though UNLIKE you, she nor we, ever ever had “Ivy goals”. She started looking into colleges junior year of HS, not before. </p>
<p>My younger D, born 25 months after her sister, missed the K cut off for entrance by five weeks. She had been in the nursery school class for two years that was going to move onto K. She was very advanced even in this grouping. Her nursery school felt strongly that she should go onto K. This wasn’t based just on intellectual development at all, but also social and emotional development. She was granted an early admissions to K (long long story that I won’t get into now, which involved moving). She was the youngest in her grade all through school. In elem., we had multi age classes. She was advanced academically and socially in her own grade (which was already an accelerated placement), but they were able to place her in multi age classrooms where there was always a grade or two above hers in the room and the work was individualized and accelerated for her. In MS and HS, she had to accelerate even more and also have accomodations made and did some indep. studies and so on. Even having accelerated and been ahead due to K placement chronologically, she still was taking classes with older grades. She then graduated HS after 11th grade, so she accelerated chronologically even another year besides the K early entrance. She entered college at age 16 1/2. Is this for everyone?? NO way. But this is an example of how you cannot generalize what you SHOULD do. I didn’t put my kids into a younger grade or choose to not accelerate so that they could have some advantage. Rather, they were adequately challenged academically and socially in grades ahead of themselves because that is what they NEEDED. Did it hurt them? No way! One was val and got into most of her colleges, including very selective ones and is going to one of her first choices. The other one wasn’t at any disadvantage and in fact, graduated even ANOTHER year ahead of her proper chronological placement (she should have been in tenth grade when she graduated). She also got into her first choice college, a very selective program. These were the right placements for these particular children.</p>
<p>I’m suggesting you think about the developmentally appropriate placement for your son, rather than think about where it might lead him for college. My kids are at the same selective schools that the kids who parents wanted them to be the oldest in the class ended up at anyway. My kids being way younger did not hurt them at all! Being “young” for a grade has much more to do with developmental issues, not where you will get into college later on!</p>