Will I Be Alright?

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

Hi, everyone.

Before I begin, I would like to explain that, well… As I am not in the highest spirits right now, I don’t think this will be a very positive thread. I’m very anxious right now, to say the least, regarding my grades and college admissions. I feel stuck and I cannot focus. I am finding it rather difficult for me to see the positives.

I have struggled in the subject of mathematics since the beginning of high school gifted/accelerated geometry. I attained Cs in that class all year. Thus, my freshman year consists of two cs (one per semester) for mathematics and a mix of As and Bs for my other classes. My courses consisted of all honors classes and 1 AP class freshman year—AP Human Geography.

I am a Sophomore this year starting my second semester. I made the foolish mistake of taking an honors mathematics course again last semester, and ended up with a 76 for a semester average in honors algebra II (I am ashamed.) As for the rest of my classes, I took all honors and 2 AP classes (AP Psychology and AP World History) and ended up with a mix of As and Bs for the rest of my classes.

Thus, my cumulative gpa as of the beginning of Freshman year to my first semester as a Sophomore has accumulated to a poor 3.34. As a result, I thought it would be best for me to level down to regular algebra II and did so. I now have a 98 in algebra II, and (low) As in the rest of my classes.

I have set a goal of attaining all As the rest of this semester. Though it will be challenging (I tend to be an A- student), I have calculated a 3.5 UW GPA by the end of Sophomore year if I can reach this goal.

However, I am extremely anxious. For the past few months I have developed an obsessive fear about my grades. I truly appreciate CC as a helpful site with an encouraging community, but unfortunately I tend to… browse admissions/acceptances threads to a large extent. I feel paralyzed. And it doesn’t help that I go to a rather… competitive school. All of my friends and peers (even those that are oos) all have UW GPAs at or above a 3.7. Everyone is constantly talking about their grades and ‘maxing’ their classes.

I scored a 1220 on the PSAT, though I am currently taking private classes to improve my score. I did poorly on the math section, and not as high as I would like in the verbal/reading sections.

My dream school used to be NYU, but I unfortunately doubt my chances of ever getting in. Now I wish to be accepted to a good tier one school. As of now my primary goal is UT (I am instate) but my rank is not high enough to get into the top 8% for UT’s very competitive admission. I am seriously considering the CAP program.

As for my ECs: I am not too concerned. I am a competitive fencer (but I am not super high in national rankings) and have fenced for 4 years. I train often and am passionate about the sport. I also train with China’s first fencing gold medalist often. I am also very passionate about writing (I have started a club, and I love writing stories in my free time!), art, philosophy (I am part of a philosophy club and I absolutely love it), forensics (I won first in my high school’s science fair, and the year before that, I won 2nd at regionals for forensic topics—while I am pretty proud, I don’t know how college will view it), and I design t-shirt designs for fencing to sell at large tournaments and am currently designing logos for my Olympian coach’s new club in the US. I am also part of HOSA and Red Cross, as I dream of being a psychiatrist someday.

Long story short, I feel… very unconfident about myself. While I have faith in my ECs, I don’t think my grades are going to, well, ‘cut it’ for admissions into my goal-colleges. As of late my fear of failure has interfered with my motivation to study. And I will admit that I have burst into tears several times both in front of my parents and in-school, much to my shame. Everything feels so dim and ultimately fruitless. I can’t climb out. I don’t know where to go. I feel like a foolish idiot.

2

OK, calm down, you are not a failure!!! You have made an excellent choice by dialing back the difficulty of your math classes as the level of instruction was not a good fit for you and was negatively impacting your other grades. You now seem to be on the correct track.

It sounds like your school is very rigorous. Therefore the average GPA is probably lower than some other places. Google the data set for your school and check out the mean/median GPA - it may surprise you. When you apply to colleges, they will take the rigor of your school into account to contextualize your grades.

1220 PSAT is a solid score - do you know what it is in percentile terms? You are only a sophomore so there is time to study and improve, if that is your goal. Next year, you might also consider the ACT if you aren’t happy with your SAT results.

CC can give you a very skewed idea of what college admissions are like. Many of the posters are very high achieving students and parents. They are not representative of the general population.

There are a couple of lovely threads like “where did my 3.3 to 3.6 student get in” that should be very encouraging. Look them up and you will see students like you who got into good places, many of them with sizable merit scholarships. There was another along the lines of “you don’t need a 3.7 + GPA to get in” that is similarly uplifting.

You should not feel embarrassed and ashamed for being a A-/B+ student. It sounds like you are applying yourself and getting good grades overall. If these feelings persist, you might seek some guidance from a teacher, pastor, your parents, or a therapist.

3

@mamaedefamilia Thank you so much for your kind words. I try to keep my head up, and sometimes it gets a little difficult when I’m freaking out.

I checked out those threads you suggested. And they really are a great beam of hope!! Of course, I will continue to try to work harder. I feel as though I did not realize the importance of freshman year and…well, getting all As if possible.

Again, I truly thank you for your encouragement. I’m hoping these feelings will go away soon—several months feels a bit excessive. It is also comforting to know that I’m taking steps forward, not backwards! c:

4

@Unsound, it sounds like math has really dealt a blow to your confidence! Geometry does that far too often. How can you remind yourself that you are a capable student?

5

OK, as a math teacher:

LOTS Of kids struggle with math. Deep breaths here. Don’t let math become your entire focus.

Take a look at www.regentsprep.org I think it’s a great resource. And go to youtube to find instructional videos on the subjects you’re covering in Algebra II. (I’m guessing that you’ll start Trig soon, right? A word of advice: PLEASE stay healthy. Trig builds and builds and builds. If you miss a class, or get confused, get to extra help ASAP. Don’t let it go, or you’re going to become more confused each day.)

Don’t let your math grades-- or ANY grades-- define you. In spite of what one would think from this site, life isn’t about grades. It’s about becoming the best well rounded person you can be. Sure, grades are part of that. And knowledge-- not the same thing as grades-- is also part of that. But your love of fencing, art, philosophy, science-- they’re all part of what makes you the person your mom and dad and close friends love so much. Keep the big picture in mind, OK?

6

@MathMatters Thanks for your understanding. Math has always been particularly brutal for me… I understand concepts, but… I think the reason why my grades were low for mathematics was because I didn’t study hard enough. I didn’t have good study habits for math. Turns out, studying for math is basically doing the problems over and over again—using this method (for around 5 hours, though—not in one sitting, of course) I managed to pull off an 88 for last semester’s midterm.

I think I can remind myself that I am a capable student by… improving my grades overall, I think. I think I have to start seeing math as something more than just a subject in which I must attain a grade in. I should see math as something fun, maybe. Maybe I could participate in math competitions (or fun things involving math) and strive to do well in them?

@bjkmom Thank you so much. Your words really mean a lot to me. Life and school, and everything in it is all about being a better person overall. Getting educated. It is important to keep the big picture in mind. Thank you for reminding me of that. Truly.

As for regentsprep: yes, I use that website often! It really is a helpful website. Although, I should probably start frequenting it more if I am to improve my math skills! As I am now in an on-level class, I don’t think we’ll be covering trig for a while (we’re still doing stuff we did last semester in honors) but I will definitely keep your advice in mind!
I think knowing where I stand and what my capabilities are (knowing whether or not I am behind) should really keep me from sinking.

You guys are really such a great help. Thank you so much. c: I feel much better about myself than I did before I had posted this thread. I really do feel as I am ‘on track’ and have a good shot at proving myself academically and intrinsically!