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<p>Isnt it easier to divide a bill by 2 and pay ones share drawn from his/her own bank account than to try to recover your entitled share of money in a joint account?</p>
<p>So who is “much, much older”?? Sounds like you are saying you are a non-traditional student, decades older?? and are you an undergrad or an L1 law student? Is she a traditional college junior (maybe 21 or so) or also a non traditional student?</p>
<p>^^ jym but if she actually did change someone’s password that’s a big no-no.</p>
<p>Hmmm, my perception about this matter changes. Since you are two decades older than the girl, I now wonder what exactly happened that made her go over the edge.</p>
<p>Not saying that it isn’t, momof3, but there are always 2 sides to a story. </p>
<p>It fries my cookies when someone comes on pretending to be someone they are not, then justifies it by claiming they want an “unbiased opinion”. There were details omitted, such as the age of the individuals, which could have been helpful so we werent thinking about an 18 and 21 yr old, and also the fact that the OP is pursuing law, so may have familiarity already with the choices he has before him. So why waste our time?</p>
<p>** crossposted with krililies.
Good points and defilitely variable that could affect all this. How old are you and your ex, OP?</p>
<p>I understand your positions and apologize for any confusion, none was intended.</p>
<p>I am a freshman as stated. Non-traditional. So, I have many years to go.</p>
<p>I don’t have massive details on the ‘consequences’ of this event. All I had was what I could glean from basic searches on the internet, a look over the student codes of conduct and what the IT dept said to me directly.
Initially, I would think that this would be a simply ‘shame on you’ event. It was not my intentions to get her into any form of trouble over her actions but, when told that that was a possibility, I started research which led me here.
I am not hiding anything from her either.</p>
<p>Sorry for any confusion.</p>
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<p>It sounds like she needs a semester in the penalty box to install some more circumspection.</p>
<p>And you should stay away from her permanently.</p>
<p>Expulsion is the least of her problems. What she did was a crime. And the type of crime (whether classified as a misdemeanor or felony) that will preclude her from any job involving handling information or fiduciary duty. That’s a ton of jobs. All for a momentary self-indulgent tattoo.</p>
<p>Tell her to get a lawyer at once. Do not under any circumstances accept a guilty plea. Beg, plead, grovel for an administrative violation that can be expunged with a fine and community service. Then take a Intro to Philosophy class; it might help assuage her instincts toward self-indulgent behavior.</p>
<p>Let’s use a principal of accounting: Assets - Liabilities = Net Worth. The object of the game is to build on your assets and minimize your liabilities. If you do the opposite, you are not worth much. If you’re at a negative net worth, you are a drag on civilization.</p>
<p>Spot on, SpacemanEd, though misdemeanors are probably not as problematic as a felony when it comes to all aspects of employment.</p>
<p>Yes, YES she needs legal representation, and ideally an attorney familiar with mental health issues.</p>
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<p>I am lost on this. You are returning to school after being away for few decades to a field of law, and you are a freshman. What does that mean? Lets just assume that you didn’t go to college, after 2 decades (20 years) you are returning back to school, which would make you minimum 38 years old. How old is this girl, in her early 20s? As a 38 year old, you knew what you were doing when you reported her.</p>
<p>I think that given the age difference the OP should show some leniency. She probably “learned another lesson”. Help her if you can and then move on with your life. You probably will feel better.</p>
<p>I, for one, am still not convinced that we have the whole story. I find it very hard to believe that a 38 yr old man has been involved in a business venture with a 20 yr old female for two years, unless he was pimping her out via something like internet porn or–perhaps less likely because they would probably not have a formal bank account–she was dealing drugs on campus that he supplied. </p>
<p>I really hate it when people come here and try to mask their identity in ways that substantially affect the picture and affect one’s reaction and advice. Even if they really did have some completely legitimate business venture, the age difference makes a difference.</p>
<p>Of course, it is quite possible that she is also a non-trad student and is considerably older than 20/21.</p>
<p>Yup, yup, yup, Consolation. Exactamundo.</p>
<p>I find it odd how people ‘read into things’. I never stated her age, just her grade level. Nor commented on any age differences. I stated <em>I</em> was going back to college after a couple of decades. </p>
<p>All I wanted to know was how sever of a situation this was.</p>
<p>She does have bi-polar as well as ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder.
She is medicated except for the anxiety (Dr says meds are addictive).</p>
<p>I did NOT know what the results of ‘reporting her’ would be.
I followed HER advice on going to the IT dept to change the passwords myself.
While there, I DID report the incident because I did NOT know to what extent she may have had additional, unknown to me, access to my school accounts. Especially since she threatened additional action.
The IT took the report, made the comments on discipline possibilities and assured me she had NO additional access.
The following day, they wrapped up her Internship and changed her passwords and locked her out of IT access.</p>
<p>I do NOT want her or anyone to get into trouble nor have her life ruined. But she has made several bad choices lately.
I was merely looking for ideas.
Whether anyone had familiarity with this. Primarily as while doing research, I noted some other posters having similar problems and posting here.</p>
<p>My next step would be: what can I do to help her and prevent her from being expelled?</p>
<p>I know the mental health issues are a huge concern and my best friend works in the mental health profession (a top choice for myself also but I really do well with legal issues and think I’d have a more rewarding and fun life with that (I do ok financially currently)) and stated that the ex may have had a psychotic break that led to her behavior; particularly if she was off her meds.
I do not know if this will play a role in any school investigation or hearings.</p>
<p>I do thank everyone for their comments and advice.</p>
<p>What people are responding to is that you are presenting as a “new” poster showing up on cc, claiming to be a “friend” and witholding what we would consider pertinent facts on which to form an opinion. Most posters here are going to assume a college freshman is right out of HS, or within a year. Unless we are told, we will not think that this is a grown man (I assume) several decades out of HS posing this question and formulating a plan of action, who reportedly didnt know that telling the IT dept that this young lady misused her position (how young is she???) will get her into trouble. Really??</p>
<p>I think it is more important for her to understand how very wrong it is to mess with people’s private protected information. It’s ten times more important if she was contemplating IT or health care. Getting expelled is a smaller issue than her understanding how wrong her actions were. If she’s “off her meds” that is another grave concern. Her age (or your age) has very little to do with it. Even eighteen year olds need to understand privacy laws.</p>
<p>A person with bipolar disorder (and other diagnosed MH issues) not stabilized on their meds may lack the capacity to make reasoned decisions and exercise appropriate judgement.</p>
<p>I get that…so perhaps it’s time for a “time out” until either the MH issues are addressed to the point where she CAN tell right from wrong in a consistent and reliable manner and is trustworthy enough to take the meds that are needed consistently.</p>