will this be a good starting for the essay?

<h1>include <conio.h></conio.h></h1>

<h1>include <iostream.h></iostream.h></h1>

Wait… what am I doing? I have to write an admission essay. Actually, I have written more than a thousand programs in C++. As a result, whenever I sit down to write something, these are the first two lines that come to my mind.(this is a part of my essay)

Ever since I was introduced to computer science in Class VIth, I have developed deep interest towards programming. Pursuant to that, over time, I learnt a number of languages, both as a part of school curriculum and of my own volition, such as QBasic, FoxPro, C++ and Visual Basic. As I further wanted to explore this field, I decided to join as a programmer trainee for a company called Fmec International Financial Services Ltd. about a few months ago.

and then I would explain my experience of working over there…

Please comment…


<p>In answer to your question, no!!!!! You will come across as one-dimensional and not interesting. Please don't write lines of code in your essay. Adcoms are not programmers and even if they were, they wouldn't appreciate it as a college essay.</p>

<p>And even if you are applying as an Engineering candidate, this isn't interesting. You would want to show your prowess as a creative, problem-solving person, and this doesn't do it.</p>

<p>I think it's interesting to start off with lines of code, but by the second paragraph you're beginning to sound boring. Try to avoid listing, especially so early in your essay, I personally think it's a real turn-off (I know, I know, I fell into the trap of listing a little too in parts of my essay but I tried not to overdo it - and keep it interesting). In my opinion, starting with the code will be nice but plunging straight into a list of your programming activities isn't. I can't really offer any suggestions now but I'm sure you'll think of a more interesting way of writing it.</p>

<p>By the way, do try thinking of new ways to start your essay - I know how it is to fall in love with your first idea and not want to change it (I certainly did with mine!) but there are always better ideas, and you don't want to restrict yourself. Just my two cents.</p>

<p>so..... should i cut down the first para and start from</p>

<p>Ever since I was introduced to computer science in Class VIth, I have developed deep interest towards programming. </p>

<p>will this sound ok or should i write something creative?</p>

<p><ever since="" i="" was="" introduced="" to="" computer="" science="" in="" class="" vith,="" have="" developed="" deep="" interest="" towards="" programming.=""></ever></p>

<p>No! That line sounds really boring, IMHO. I would definitely take the lines of code over this (though I guess others may disagree). The code would work, PROVIDED you can think of some creative way to continue it. Think about it.</p>

<p>sorry mwgan...... i didnt read your post before posting mine....... </p>

<p>ya ..... u r right..... i have really fell in love with my idea of starting........ but I want u ppl to comment? </p>

<p>I will cut down the listing thing as per your advice</p>

<p>help me!!!</p>


<p>The first paragraph is different and works as an attention grabber, but the paragraph beginning with "Ever since" quickly sinks into the mire. </p>

<p>A college essay is supposed to convey something of you and your personality, to help convince the adcoms of why you would be a helpful addition to the student body they are building. You're essay sounds great if they are looking for someone to work at the computer help desk, pretty disappointing if they are looking for a new student.</p>

<p>If you are going to use computing as a theme, you need to make it personal. A list of classes you have taken and jobs you have held doesn't cut it! You need to put some passion into it, explain why it intrigues you and what keeps you interested in it. Get a book or two about college admission essays and read their advice and sample essays, then look at what you've written and I think you'll see the difference ...</p>

<p>lildude, I am a lifelong programmer (been one since 1982) and an interviewer for my company as well. I think people who think in terms of code are hackers and not designers. The element of creativity and problem-solving ability is not there if the first thing you do when you get a problem is start coding. Including code in your essay is indicative of that. That's why I did not like the beginning of your essay. As a college essay, though, I think adcoms will not be impressed either.</p>

<p>Your choice, though...:)</p>

<p>I strongly recommend 'On Writing the College Application Essay' by Henry Bauld.</p>