<p>If its alright with you parents could you share how parents feel when their kids go off to College…as students, we usually find the first wek or two miserable…but then courses consume use and its not bad then after. How do parents feel?</p>
<p>Driving away from the drop off - a little sad, but kind of proud.</p>
<p>Home for Thanksgiving/Christmas - great to have them back, but it was nice to know they had a “new life…”</p>
<p>As summer break approaches - CANNOT WAIT!!! Seems like I miss him more now than the first week or two or anytime thereafter. Can’t wait until he gets home (June).</p>
<p>Arjun-Your experience sums up how I felt when we took our daughter to college. I really missed her for a couple of weeks. The house seemed to have lost its life. I think it was pretty hard for me until parent’s weekend in October, when we went back and saw how well and happy she was, and how grown up. Soon it was winter break, two months later spirng break, and two months after that, summer. Once I realized that she does come back, letting her go got easier and easier.
She’s coming home Tuesday for a month until she takes off to South America for the rest of the summer. In some ways, now that she is more independent and truly an adult (21!) we feel closer than ever. We really cherish the time we have together.</p>
<p>dimedia has it exactly right. Also, my (freshman) S had finals after winter break, so he was home for less than two weeks. It will be great to have him back without having to think about him leaving again so soon.</p>
<p>Arjun~</p>
<p>My son just returned from his freshman year at a college 1250 miles away, and I’m here to tell you that if <strong>I</strong> can do this, <strong>anyone</strong> can!!! OMG, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done…letting my first born child, who had been a teeny tiny 5 lb. 6 oz. baby at birth leave this nest and go halfway across the country :(.</p>
<p>I will never forget the first time I bolted the door at night without him in the house (we always locked the door, but left the bolt undone if he was still expected in)–it was truly eerie.</p>
<p>We were sustained by several things: 1.) We brought him home every chance we got–Fall Break, Thanksgiving, Winter Break, Spring Break, etc. That really helped to break up the time away as we could always calculate in WEEKS when we would see him again, 2.) Cell phones…a read godsend…he was only a quick dial away from us when he was gone, and 3.) email…again, it just made us feel like he wasn’t as far away as he was, and 4.) the fact that he THRIVED in his college environment and had such a happy and academically successful first year. We REALLY felt like the decision had been the perfect one for him.</p>
<p>Yes, OF COURSE parents will miss their kids TERRIBLY…at least most of us ;), but we WILL adjust–and so will the kids! And trust me, I NEVER thought I’d be writing these words!</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>The actual final moment of drop-off was pretty miserable. The rate of telephone calls home during the first month could be plotted as an example of exponential decay. The first Thanksgiving meeting-at-the-airport was about as high a moment as the drop-off had been low. Two years later (checking clock…yes, all finals are now done), it’s all good. Better than good.</p>
<p>My experience is pretty much the same as TheDad’s except that there is an increase in phone calls just before vacations especially summer. It’s as if frequent phoning will somehow make the time pass more quickly. The use of the phone to collapse time reminds me of a story my brother told me about a man who was driving him to a resort complex from the airport. He told my brother, “We better hurry up and get there. We’re almost out of gas.”</p>
<p>What a nice question for a student to ask!!
My son is only a junior in high school, and I ALREADY had an incident where I got weepy watching the freshman matriculation ceremony that one school had on their website! You all grow up so quickly, and time seems to fly faster and faster the older we get. That said, however, I will be very excited and happy for him to start such an exciting part of his life, hopefully in a school that he will love.</p>
<p>On the flip side, giving some of y’all a fast-forward, D called tonight, completely drained from finals and now doing stuff like doing laundry, packing, boxing stuff that’ll be stored in her house, preparing a couple of boxes of books to ship, etc. Through the fatigue there was a sober sense that half of her college experience is now gone. Makes high school seem slow in comparison and we all know how fast <em>that</em> went.</p>
<p>Yes, I miss my S. If I could turn back the clock and have his childhood to do all over again, I would. </p>
<p>But I wouldn’t extend it. He’s grown up now, and I’d worry and feel bad if he didn’t want to fly the nest and be his own man.</p>
<p>Like Berurah (hi, honey!), I wasn’t sure I’d “survive” the pain of letting my S go…but I did. And I’m SOOOOOO proud of him! And I adjusted. I’m a happy person, with a full and rich life, even when S isn’t home! I like it much better when he is home, but I do just fine when he’s gone. </p>
<p>I mentioned to S one day last month that I didn’t want him to worry about me, home alone, while he’s gone. He laughed at me. TOld me he loves me (I know he does; we have a great relationship), but that there’s not a teenager alive who spends much (any) time worrying about whether their parents are sad about them being gone. That actually made me feel a lot bettter!</p>
<p>Bottom line: you’ll miss your folks and your folks will miss you. But you’ll be fine and so will they. They’ll be so proud of you their buttons will burst (they already are). You’ll adore COrnell (that’s where S is, too). This is a life transition and it’s a big deal. But it’s all good, from both your viewpoint, and your parents!</p>
<p>BLess you, anticipate Ithaca with eagerness–you’ll love life there! And don’t worry about your folks. They’ll be fine–loving you every bit as much and basking in the glory of what a fine young man you’ve grown into being!</p>
<p>If you spend a lot of time on IM and your parents don’t use it, show them how before you leave. I can count the times DS called on one hand, but we usually have a quick chat a couple times a week. (And I have to admit, sometimes I just check to see if he’s there; somehow it’s kind of reassuring. I know, pathetic.)</p>
<p>1moremom - IM’s were a frequent mode of communication here too. It worked well because it allowed my son to initiate the conversation when he had time to chat. </p>
<p>Our experience was much like digmedia’s description above. This year flew by. He’s home for the summer in 8 hours!!! I can’t wait.</p>
<p>I had to part with my kids much sooner than I expected. My daughter left for boarding school as hs junior (from Texas to northern Mich) and Wild Child left home as a freshman for boarding school. He was only 3 hours away for the first two years. We chatted on IM often- lately it is usually every day.
While I missed my daughter a lot when she left, the opportunity she was getting to study music at Interlochen was so amazing that I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I had a lot more trouble not having my son at home- he was younger and the circumstances leading up to his going away weren’t as favorable as with my daughter. It has all worked out, though, and I have two very independent kids.</p>
<p>My sons have both left home, one for the Army (thank God he is out now, was in Iraq for a godawfully hairraising period at the beginning of the war,) and one for college. You miss them terribly at first, and as mentioned above, wish you could replay their childhoods! But when they come home, your time together is wonderful and you truly realize how little your hometown has to offer them, that they must leave to grow and mature.</p>
<p>Having said that, however, my older daughter leaves this fall for college and we will have only one child left at home. I feel like we will miss our daughter in a whole different way. She does have a wonderful opportunity and I know we will all be fine in the end. </p>
<p>I haven’t used IM, maybe it’s a good idea.</p>
<p>It’s funny to see this thread. My sons are 7 and 13, so it will be a while before they leave home. But just an hour ago I was with my older son, picking up a few things for the house, and as we walked to the car it struck me how much I enjoyed being with him. I said something to that effect, and also said that I couldn’t believe that he is only 5 years away from college. He said, sadly, that he couldn’t believe that more than 2/3 of our time together was gone. We made a mutual pledge to spend as much time together as possible. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine him leaving the house, and I can’t imagine his younger brother dealing with it. It will be bad enough when he goes to CTY for 3 weeks this summer. I couldn’t have imagined, even a year ago, that I would send him away at all, but he’s changed. He asked to go to CTY, and I can see that he needs the experience of being with other kids like himself, and I’m not upset at the prospect of his leaving for 3 weeks. Leaving for good is another matter, but I’m happy to read that others have survived this, and accepted it.</p>
<p>Yes, I miss my sons when they are gone!!! Cell phones and IM’s are the most wonderful inventions in the world for lonely mothers–and kids. I don’t know how my own mother managed with an occasional letter or collect phone call.</p>
<p>It does get easier after awhile, just as it gets easier on the kid once he/she adjusts to college. But I still am SO happy when they come home. :)</p>
<p>I have heard many things about living in an empty nest. I don’t know if they’re true or not but I have to say I’m sure as heck looking forward to finding out.</p>
<p>Arjun:</p>
<p>Don’t go in with the attitude that the first week or two will be miserable for you! </p>
<p>At Cornell the first week is Orientation, where 90% of the activities are fun, and 10% of the activities are chores (swim test, placement exams, etc). It’s purposely designed that way so saying good-bye will be easier for the students. </p>
<p>Relax, it could very well be the best week of your life. Don’t worry about your parents, there are only a phone call or an e-mail away.</p>
<p>berurah - couldn’t have said it better! Ditto many times over.</p>
<p>i am reallly kind of irritable, and i think it stems from the fact that my baby will be going away–far away–to school this fall. however, i am hoping that imagining or thinking about his departure is far worse than the actual departure will be. i tend to dwell on it, yet i hope that when the time comes, it will be exciting, hurried, and full of good adventures–for both of us.</p>