Will you pick the college that shows you the most love?

<p>One of the colleges that my D has been accepted to has been just wonderful with offering congratulations and invitations to local receptions. It has also done a great job of reaching out to the parents and having current students contact my D. Her other choices? Not so much (although, of course, each college has its admitted student day or overnight).</p>

<p>D is now leaning towards this college, and I'm wondering if it is because of the love shown to her. Anyone else experiencing this?</p>

<p>No. Just because they are showing it now, doesn’t always mean it’s the best fit or the love would continue later.</p>

<p>By calling and throwing parties to try to get your kid to enroll is not really love. By giving your kid money and admitting her to their honors program, that’s showing true love.</p>

<p>I would not want my kid to pick a college based on all that stuff. I would want her to see which college most closely aligns with her selection criteria…the best fit. Likewise, I would not select based on prestige either. Just because a college goes all out on the contacts and so on is not an indication of which school fits the best and won’t matter over the course of the four years. </p>

<p>I would go a step further in regards to oldfort’s post, and not pick on who gave the most money, but I know I am likely in the minority on that! (I say this even as today my daughter was offered a very large scholarship from one of the top universities in the country for grad school and I want to make sure she picks the school that fits her the best)</p>

<p>I agree with oldfort. Like the band says “if you have a request write it on the back of a twenty”.</p>

<p>Pre enrollment attention is merely marketing. It may or may not be an indication of how the college treats the enrolled student. While money isn’t the only motivation in choosing a school it does play a big factor in our case.</p>

<p>My D went to the school that rolled out the love and attention (and money, too). She transfered a year later. What the admissions office does, and how well they do it, does not in my experience necessarily correlate with the school experience in other ways. It might, and it might not. I wouldn’t pick a school on that basis.</p>

<p>If the LOVE is in the form of US Dollar, then the answer is YES. Otherwise, NO.</p>

<p>Receiving unsolicited phone calls is not really my idea of love. More like harassment.</p>

<p>Postcards and telemarketing not withstanding, I haven’t felt particularly loved by the administration at the school I’ve chosen. But they came through with a very nice scholarship package, so it’s all good :)</p>

<p>My S clearly received the greatest amount of “love” from a college he will not attend. We were all very impressed with how this college treated both S and us (parents). However, he knew where he wanted to go. As much as we appreciated the treatment, S accepted the school he hoped for at the onset of the process. Having said that, we will loudly sing the praises of the school he won’t be attending - URSINUS. It appears to us to be everything it was billed as in the Lauren Pope book about Colleges That Change Lives.</p>

<p>My son got lots and lots of love from U of Chicago last year. (Handwritten holiday card with a comment about his essay (best marketing move ever), a scarf, a book of convocation talks, a calendar (with the world’s dreariest photos - Chicago looked much better than those pictures!). At some point he commented that it really did work to give him positive feelings about the school in a slightly creepy way. Ultimately it was the second to last school standing, but he chose Tufts and I think he was right that he’s more of a just do it guy than a life of the mind guy.</p>

<p>Have you asked your D if this may be affecting her decision? Or at least to consider it? </p>

<p>Years ago, after S checked the box for college info on the ACT, he started receiving all sorts of their “We love you and want you” junk mail and he really believed it. I understand you are further along in the chain, but the effect could still be the same.</p>

<p>You could try to find out more about this particular college, if the love continues or if there’s a disconnect between admissions and campus culture.</p>

<p>It’s not love. It’s marketing.</p>

<p>S will be attending a school that showed him the love in the form of several merit scholarships. He also received calls/emails from facilty and administration. He liked the school to start with, he loved the school after they started showing him the money. No other school offered anything that this school didn’t so the choice was easy.</p>

<p>D. applied to a reach school with great reputation but we never visited and knew little about. Out of the blue, not only was she accepted but also invited for a scholarship interview, on their own dime! She did not get the full ride, only partial, but had a great visit, they wooed her with personal attention her for 4 days, so it’s now in the running. The other school is slightly less selective (if you go by acceptance %), no merit scholarship, but she took a summer course there and loved it too. It’s decision time between the boy you knew and the new heartthrob on the block! We told her to focus on fit and not financial since we are already resigned to full pay if necessary. It’d be interesting to see her choice.</p>

<p>*By giving your kid money and admitting her to their honors program, that’s showing true love. *</p>

<p>Show it with $$$ – LOL!</p>

<p>They can keep all the dumb events and receptions. In this economy, it’s the money that matters.</p>

<p>I guess it depends on how one defines love. A random phone call from a student currently attending the school is worthless, in my opinion, as is an endless procession of junk mail about meetings and get-togethers where you’re expected to fork over $30 or $40 for the opportunity to meet alumni, etc.</p>

<p>But Amherst bought my son a plane ticket to come visit last October, before he even applied. His early-write letter of acceptance was personalized. And a few days ago, a faculty member in his chosen major sent him a personalized email asking him if he had any questions.</p>

<p>Brown also bought my son a plane ticket to come visit next week. And he just received a letter from his area’s admissions committee rep, who wrote about how pleased she was to have been able to advocate for him, while mentioning specific things from his application that impressed the committee.</p>

<p>How can you not want to choose one of these two schools? Starting with an advocate/mentor/counselor/guide at the school you plan to attend is the first seed that can blossom into a strong relationship with many faculty and staff members and provide you with a home-away-from-home feeling as you get adjusted to your new surroundings.</p>

<p>One of my kids was definitely swayed by the marketing. He kept saying that it felt like they cared about and were interested in him personally, vs schools that treated him just like a number. </p>

<p>My other kids were turned off a little. They’d get phone calls from students asking if they had any questions, for example - but the students would be clueless when my kids would actually ask a question. Or they’d go to a reception and then find fault with the other admitted students (too preppy, too nerdy, too many jocks, too weird, too many from the area…sigh).</p>

<p>30 years ago I chose my college because of the “love/marketing”. They also gave me money. It was also the best fit; but that whole fit philosophy hadn’t really been invented yet. </p>

<p>I chose a small midwestern LAC over my instate east coast school and a OOS west coast school because the LAC had a great department in my intended major and they had students from my major call me so I could ask questions. The “love” continued through my time there because as a small school they had the faculty available to show the love all the time. They were present. It was the “fit” I wanted and it all started when they recruited me. So, I’d look at whether the school continues this type of personal support of their students once they are on campus. If they do, then this might be the type of environment that your son would enjoy and make use of.</p>