We were walking in our neighborhood. One young kid (2 yo or even slightly younger) was alone on the patio of their apartment. He made sounds and tried to get our attentions. We then noticed there was a small ball on the ground, thought he wanted us to pick it up and gave it to him so we did it.
Immediately after he got the ball, he threw the ball to the ground in front of us. Apparently, he tried to have us to play the ball with him.
But we did not know this family at all. So we left and did not pick up the ball for him.
Will you do the same as us if you were in this situation: Without the parents’ permission, I would refrain from playing with other family’s kid of that age especially if we do not know this family. (It was also strange that the parents were not around. The parents likely believe this area is “safe”. I would never leave a young kid alone like that.)
I would play with him. Unfortunately, it’s more socially acceptable for me to play with him as I am a young woman and am “supposed” to want to interact with young children.
It would bother me though that a young child was alone on a patio. I don’t care how safe the area is, it only takes a few minutes for a child to wander away (a MUCH bigger concern than getting kidnapped).
I agree- I would not do so either w/o parent’s permission. I am baffled that people let young children play in an area with public access without being right there. We have neighbors at the end of our cul-de-sac who let their 3 year old play with his motorized car up and down the sidewalks while they are in the house. He knocked on my door one day to ask me about the “face” we have mounted on our large tree, so I took him back home thinking he had “slipped out” without their knowledge, but they were not concerned at all. The neighbors around the corner routinely send their 4 year old off with their 8 year old monitoring him, which of course he doesn’t. These people are crazy. I like to think people in our neighborhood are fairly well educated and keep up with the world around us but I guess I am expecting too much!
I’ve been know to get yelled at from a parent for “grabbing” a kid… When the kid was heading off the curb towards traffic in a busy parking lot. But I’d do it again in a minute. We can’t blame the kids for parents they get.
In any case, I think you did the right thing by not engaging the child.
To clarify, the patio is fenced - this is why the boy could not pick up the ball by himself. But it is still not to my standard that the parents seem to not keep a close eye on him.
This reminds me that when our child was about that age, and was sitting on the high chair for the young kid, he would intentionally drop the utensils (so that the utensils would be out of his view) and expected us to pick it up for him. As soon as we picked it up and placed on the “table” which is attached to the high chair, he would drop it again. This “game” would repeat many times. This would annoy the parents if they do not understand that this is actually a part of a natural learning process every kid would mostly likely go through.
According to some child rearing book, any object that is not visible to a very young child is non-existent for him (or her.) He needs to play this “game” many times in order to learn that, even though some objects which “disappear” temporarily from him (i.e., out of his view) could still exist in this world.
“keeping an eye on” is apparently an antiquated notion. No, I would just keep going. Just last weekend, we watched our neighbor’s children play progressively dangerously with their friends (group of 6 kids age 3-7) – climbing on the cars, swinging sticks, in and out of the street…
One of the dads came out, got the kids off the cars, and 5 minutes later all the children came back out, holding hands, and set off down the street of our busy suburban subdivision, alone. They returned 20 minutes or so later, shirtless, shoeless, wandering down the center of the street and hollering at each other. But at least no one was hurt, bitten by a dog, stung by a bee, left behind, etc.
I would have played with the kid. And if the situation smelled funny, I would have looked for the parents. Most likely, I would have tossed the ball for awhile, making enough noise to attract the parents. Then I could have waved and walked on.
@mcat2 - don’t be so ambivalent if it is a neighbor. You can always walk up to them and make friends. We seem to all have these hang out with neighbors day once an year but lose touch the rest of the year.
I got two new neighbors in the past 3 months on either side of my home. I still have not said anything beyond a hi to one of them but the other one knocked on doors and handed out slips of paper discussing her family, the kids names and ages etc (3 and 5). I am thinking we will ask to babysit occasionally after next August when we might be emptynesters.
I wouldn’t have gone into a fenced yard to do it. (Can’t tell from your description if that is the case). I probably would have smiled and waved at him, and kept walking. If I thought there was some risk (unsupervised with no fence), I might have played a bit of ball, then knocked on the door.
Apparently I am more “free range” than most of you–fenced patio sounds pretty safe to me. I am assuming parent just stepped away for a minute and there isn’t any swimming pool or a dog or other threats to the child on the patio. I would throw the ball back a few times, but then I’d move on.
