<p>“Nice bit of sarcasm there, honorary.”</p>
<p>Leanid, I can’t tell if you’re teasing and toying here or what. Don’t know you well enough. But I was NOT being sarcastic.</p>
<p>Gee, moving away from politics and back to our kids and sharing topical advice and experiences…D just returned from PA for a long weekend home and respite from the blizzard. She’s buried in work, brimming with stories of her buddies, and making sum,er plans. It’s our first year as PA parents and having a kid in BS, for this kid, its a great fit and we would follow her desires again in a heartbeat. Though we miss her when she’s away, its so rewarding to have her back and not take her for granted.</p>
<p>Many of us get slammed for defending our schools and then slammed again when we talk about the downsides (something the OP asked about). Often from those who covet a spot at the same tables. I take both sides so that students and families have a realistic appraisal beyond the marketing materials and viewbooks. </p>
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<p>This isn’t about winning or losing in this debate or who has the universal truth (none of us does - it’s all conjecture and opinion). But the OP didn’t just ask an analytical question. He asked specifically about IVY being the sole goal, then went on to use sarcasm and derision toward other choices and even labeling PA students whose chose other colleges as inferior and failures. He then compounded it with additional posts saying that most - given their lack of Ivy matriculation - must have been poor fits. So the OP set him/herself up for the slap across the head. Why send his son to a school he has such contempt for?</p>
<p>IVY’s could fill their ranks with ONLY boarding school students. In that case, why move the students? Just turn Andover and Exeter (et al) into IVY extension schools and run classes from 9th grade through grad school with an escape valve for students who might actually want to broaden their horizons.</p>
<p>GWP (the other tangent on the thread) - him I feel sorry for. He was kind of a legacy pawn who was manipulated around a chess board all the way up to his Presidency (complete with tutors and handlers). And in light of the recent hack on his account (showing his paintings which exhibited some heart to them) I wonder what good he’d have done in the world if he’d been left to follow his own path - rather than the BS/IVY track he was shoved on by his parents.</p>
<p>honoraryamom,</p>
<p>My apologies for hearing a tone that wasn’t there. Would I be correct in assuming you were speaking with sincerity?</p>
<p>Leanid: Yes.</p>
<p>I do worry though, it belongs in worry thread, what if DC is accepted and
the experience breaks DC. </p>
<p>It won’t be a failure wherever college DC CHOOSES to go.
But what if DC totally loses confidence, motivation, gets stressed to bones, anorexia, etc? </p>
<p>DC looks strong now.
If BS were to break DC, no BC but LPS to Ivy, there, Ivy would definitely break DC anyway. If not there then, life will break DC. I see no grit and resilience developed in LPS being the top dog in LPS trying very little, putting as little as effort possible since working hard is not cool.
So why not fail early in a more supportive environment?</p>
<p>But then again, I could be wrong so the worry continues.</p>
<p>Cream of the crop? Possibly, but it sounds elitist. Also so it’s such a small crop, that’ its possible that it would be nothing but chaff when compared to a larger diverse public school crop?</p>
<p>Which PS you know has more diversity than A or E? You just need to go to the campuses of top colleges and get to know a few top boarding school graduates, compare with many valedictorian from PS, and you will know if they are just as, if not more so of “cream of crop” as the PS cream!</p>
<p>@Payn4ward,</p>
<p>I might happen - but the chances are pretty small. Most students - if they’re choosing rather than the parents, weather the storm quite nicely. Be warned, the initial months are sometimes a brutal adjustment. You’ll be tempted to say “come home” when the phone calls start (first bad grade, haven’t made friends yet, work is impossibly hard) but more often than not, they’re slipping and calling school “home” by winter break their first year, and wondering where the time went by senior year because there is so much left they want to do on campus. The biggest shocker during adjustment? That students can’t wait until evening to do homework and they can’t cram it all in before a test. And that their methods in local school (even if privates) might not be enough to get through the load in boarding school with existing strategies. That you study all day long, during breaks, etc so that it’s paced out. The brightest kids - in a school where everyone is uber bright too - soon learn to adopt new organizational approaches that will serve them well in college. But you’ll have to bite your nails those first months and just be a “listener” and send care packages while they go through their metamorphosis. </p>
<p>Consider this - if DC goes to boarding school, you’ll witness the angst normally reserved for entering college students. Our kids - by college - will be rolling their eyes at Freshman who are adjusting because they’ve already gone through it three to four years earlier. </p>
<p>We should copy the Army phrase only change it to “We’ll make them boarding school strong!” :)</p>
<p>Exie: I am sorry for my part of the slamming. I think I understand you better now.</p>
<p>Payn4ward: I think the transition from public middle school to BS is probably very different from the transition from public hs to ivy, and which transition your kid will manage better, depends on the kid. The reason is that prep schools are very different from ivies.</p>
<p>I can speak about the transition from mediocre public school to ivy+m/s, as I made such a transition 30 yrs ago. For me it was very difficult, but maybe not quite crushing. No question that the private school kids were far better prepared, in all ways. At the time, I was jealous of them, and wished that I had had such an opportunity.</p>
<p>However, having learned a lot more about competitive prep schools while researching them and visiting them with my child, I believe I would have had a much more difficult time adjusting to prep school than to my “top tier” college. I was a great test taker but extremely shy and not ready at that age to participate in small group discussions for every class, day after day. That kind of learning terrified me at that age. It was a lot easier for me to sit in a lecture hall, observe others, gradually build up my confidence, and eventually come into my own and find success. For me, that was the kinder, gentler approach. If I had gone to prep school and managed to survive, I doubt I would have been able to take full enough advantage of the opportunities. It would have been overwhelming, given my particular strengths and weaknesses.</p>
<p>So think about your own child’s strengths and weaknesses, how he learns, what sort of opportunities he is ready for, and the aspects of each trajectory which will work or not work for him.</p>
<p>^^I agree but would just add that this was (for us anyway) an important consideration in choosing a school. Some schools simply have a more sink-or-swim ethos. Now if they accept you, they probably do so because they believe you can swim. But other schools have much clearer and stronger offerings in terms of support structures. Point is, some kids will need support, some may not, but best as a parent to have a strong sense of your child so you can try to evaluate during the application process the likelihood of challenges, your kid’s history with resilience in the face of difficulties, and what the school says it offers to students when they struggle.</p>
<p>Anecdotally–we picked a school with strong support mechanisms. DC had an up-and-down freshman year; naturally bright, he wasn’t used to having to put in the sustained effort that the BS requires. So his grades were a bit all over the place. Sophomore year he understands the expectations, has raised his game, and knows to take advantage of tutorials outside of class, to go to teachers directly with problems, etc.</p>
<p>Aldean: Anylarge public school will most certainly have more diversity and talent than a boarding school? It will also have more troublemakers and underacheivers.</p>
<p>sosomenza - depends where you live, and how you define diversity.</p>
<p>Our son (who is from Colorado) is going to school with kids from the east coast, west coast, midwest, south and west - so there is regional diversity. He also has a large number of classmates from overseas - Europe, Asia, Middle East, India, Australia - something he would never have experienced here. And there is a large diversity of religions, races and cultures, as well as socio-economic status, at his school. I know he would not have found that at our small, rural public high school - and I doubt he would have experienced that level of diversity in the largest suburban high school in the Denver area.</p>
<p>We are of like minds, Mountainhiker. </p>
<p>The incredible diversity of the students was one of the biggest reasons we agreed to consider these cross country high schools, in the first place. But despite this being a key component to the majority of boarding schools out there these days, it never ceases to amaze me how many people still picture Dead Poet’s Society and won’t believe anything to the contrary.</p>
<p>It’s taken a while, but most of our friends have come around to the idea that we’re excited about doing this and are actually quite supportive now. However, there are still times when this option has ruffled the feathers of folks to whom we are NOT well aquainted, yet still feel the need to share their 2 cents with us. Case in point: recently, we were at a party, chatting around a firepit with several families, when the subject turned to where everyone was applying next year. I suddenly found myself confronted by someone who felt I needed to hear “the truth” about boarding schools! He went on to tell me that they’re filled with nothing but entitled, rich kids, meaningless “token” diversity and that an elitist mentality is instilled in every kid who attends, if they don’t already arrive with plenty of their own. He ended his rant by saying that any parent who’d consider “sending their kid away” probably isn’t very close to them, in the first place. I felt like I’d just been punched in the gut! </p>
<p>Before I could utter another word, our son shot me an ENORMOUS “It’s gonna be okay” smile, got up from his seat, and walked right over to this jerk, (who was clearly taken by surprise by the fact that the “boarding school brat wannabe” had been sitting directly across from him the whole time). At that point, my son son politely introduced himself to this lout and proceeded to tell him that “he appreciated his DIVERSE point of view, thought it was cool that he was as passionate about education as our family and that it was EXACTLY this kind of lively discussion he looked forward to having, with kids from ALL over the world…next year at boarding school.”
Then, he walked over and gave me a huge hug, and said loudly, “Love you, Mom.” </p>
<p>Do I have any doubt this kid can handle himself if he goes away for school next year?
Not a one.</p>
<p>^^I would stop his rant and ask him two questions: 1. Do you have direct experience with BS as parent or student? 2. If yes, when and which school? If his answer was his uncle or newphew went to a BS we don’t know if it still exists or 30yrs ago, simply tell him he doesn’t know anything about the BS your son goes to, and if he’s really interessted you and your son can tell him a thing or two.</p>
<p>LOVE it, goforprep! What an awesome son - best wishes for you on this journey!</p>
<p>Well, finals week is just about done and I’m caught up on parent physics. Student communication with parents does not escape the black hole of finals. True, wormholes exist for travel consents, acknowledgement of gift baskets or sibling sympathy, but the mass of work and attraction of like bodies is just too great.</p>
<p>My sons went to prep school, different schools. One went to Andover. We sent them to prep school not for college placement in Ivies. We sent them (as Juniors) because it was a safe place to spread their wings and gain responsiblity before making the transition to college. Small size classes, highly engaged teachers and students, independance, great athletics, unlimited opportunities…the list goes on and on. And at Andover, classes he could never have taken at his local highschool. However I will say that if it was my son’s desire to go to an ivy, my personal belief is that going to Andover would have limited him opportunities. Why? Because he was not the best of the best there and a very large percentage of kids there want to go to Ivies. I think his chances would have been higher at a slightly lower academic school where he would have been very high in school rank and fewer students applying to those select schools. But that was never his goal and going to Andover was an amazing experience and did result in him getting into almost every college he did apply to with great scholarships, which did matter to our family. Not ivies but very respected highly ranked colleges. Excellent experience, excellent outcome.</p>
<p>For a slightly facetious view, my spontaneous takeaway from the meanderings of this thread is: “Would you rather your kid turn out more like GWB or Steve Carell?”</p>
<p>Both of whom attended boarding school, are considered very successful, but in completely different ways.</p>
<p>@IntlDad2 You have already said in previous posts that “Andover is not for you.” And as I recall your kid was apparently rejected from Andover. So why linger here, lurking around a board about Andover making naive and banal attempts at being witty? Especially when your total experience with Andover amounts to one interview and a rejection letter?</p>