Why not arrange the marriage at the babies’ birth to take place when they turn 12 like the really good really old days?
In any case, I think that, at least for boys, asking them to find a spouse in college is silly.
My fiance is marrying up in terms of education. I’m marrying up in terms of character and maturity. I think it’s a good deal.
Re post #60: was the heiress your brother-in-law married spending her own (or her family-of-origin’s) money on the Armani shopping sprees? If so, why would your brother-in-law care?
@notelling,
Regarding post #60, the billionaire’s daughter (my BIL’s ex) was no heiress. She was not supported by her father who had already shacked up w a second (younger & hotter) wife. Billionaire’s daughter was living on a middle class income generated by BIL & herself. So the revenge Armani shopping sprees really, really stung.
One silver lining about not being a billionaire is never having to worry whether someone really hot is just marrying u for your money…
Why silly for boys and not for girls?
I didn’t understand that either. I would never suggest that anyone actively look for a serious relationship in college, but I would encourage them to meet people & pursue their interests.
I think lots of people meet their sig others in college, even if they did not date in high school.
They are around people their own age constantly, studying, working & playing together. They meet not just other students at their university, but friends of friends who are going to school elsewhere.
It’s true that a serious relationship can make relocating after college more challenging, but you could always do what a friends daughter did, which is break up after graduation, or have a temp long distance romance.
My D says she has no problem being both stronger and smarter than her future (hypothetical) husband. He will, though, need to cook. Jeff Seid-like aesthetics desirable but optional. http://www.jeffseid.com/gallery/
I would not be surprised if my kids all found their long-term partners during the college years. We are a family with a lot of emotional stability.
What does being a family with a lot of emotional stability have to do with finding a long term partner during the college years?
It’s wasn’t really very explanatory, was it? Suggestions encouraged for a better shorthand way to describe it.
I feel that certain personality types are just better at long-term relationships, and certain people personally hit their emotional maturity points earlier in life. The things people do to damage relationships - infidelity, dishonesty, combativeness, being overly clingy, lacking empathy, inconsiderate - I consider to be signs of emotional instability. Oversimplified, if you combine “stability” with attractiveness and with having an interest in long-term but no interest in short-term relationships, you get a very marriageable person.
We are not encouraging relationships, do not really care one way or another, just wouldn’t be surprised. S1 (college soph) is on his 2nd long-term girlfriend and she seems very nice.
This may be a news flash, but plenty of emotionally unstable people meet their spouses at a young age.
Even the ones that don’t make the 6:00 news!
Cooking skill is non-negotiable
^ I have been married for almost 35 years. I’m still not much of a cook.
If that’s the case, a lot of 40 somethings and under I know would still be single and avoided like the plague…
The educational divide between genders if dogs are considered far more educated than most males in the local population. Harsh…
" I have been married for almost 35 years. I’m still not much of a cook"
I’ve been married for 28 years. My H does the cooking (and even so, it’s very basic - microwaving vegetables, making turkey burgers, etc.). I absolutely hate it and it’s probably been weeks since I’ve used any appliance other than a microwave or Foreman grill. I’m not “into” food and it’s just a big chore to me.
Mr. B and I have been together for almost three decades. He is still pretending that he is not much of a cook or a grill maser. 
But he can put in a new 220V circuit just fine (and so can I, but I’d rather grill a steak).
I’m a better cook than H but he’s much better at maintaining our home and yard. I’m better at dealing with hassles–medical, legal, real estate, kids, education that arise. It has worked out nicely over the decades.
I’m still hoping and waiting for our kids to meet good partners but remain optimistic.
Once I accidentally knocked an earring down the bathroom sink drain. I took the drain apart by myself because GMTbetterhalf was out of town, so I couldn’t feign helplessness. :-"
I’d have closed the bathroom door and used another bathroom! I am impressed! I do kill bugs by myself though, when I have to.
My H and I each think the other one’s smarter, so we both married up! Socio-economically fairly even–more money on his side, probably, but divorced parents made it problematical. Equal amount of crazy between the two families, also.
In reference to meeting early and education, we’ve been a couple since we were 18, and both somehow manage to have grad degrees.