After submitting our application to several boarding schools, our son has become the victim of a bully at his current school with several notable incidents. Despite the school being presented evidence and testimony from other boys, the school has chosen not to discipline the offender (likely because his family are huge donors).
We have decided to withdraw our son because he is becoming quite distraught each day about the thought of more encounters with this kids. There have been more incidents since the school got involved.
We are concerned the schools we have applied to will somehow see this as a negative for our son. Any advice on how we should approach this with those schools? I should also add that the Dean of our son’s current school told us that this is a confidential matter and they will have no comment on it if they are ever contacted.
I can see it either way. However, IMHO, if their son gets accepted to a BS, at that point they should reach out to that school(s) and explain the situation. Reaching out prior will only muddy the waters.
Just want to say sorry that your child is going through this. Good for you in supporting your child. Hopefully, he’ll move to a better situation. Take care.
Loos like you have plan to go to online school which means he can get his final transcript for his current grade. If there are any questions you can explain at that time to the BS that accepts him. Good luck and I think this is the best decision to avoid further mental trauma for your family.
I’m so sorry your child + family is going through this. It sounds like you are dealing with a private school (other family is a large donor). In my child’s school, secondary school counselors are active in the high school admissions process advocating for students with “next schools,” so there could be communication between now and March 10 between this school and the schools your son is applying to. I think it would be helpful to come to agreement with the secondary school counselors on what you agree they would say about your child to any high school if asked about him by any high schools.
My heart goes out to you and your son. I hope he loves wherever he ends up, and I think you made the right decision. Shame on the school for not taking action. To me, no amount of money is worth a child suffering.
I’m so sorry your son is dealing with this. I’m regularly appalled at how poorly private schools handle bullying issues. One day they are going to be found liable.
I agree with earlier poster who suggested bringing it up with schools after your son is accepted. And I would absolutely make sure the current school states if/when asked that your son was in good standing and that it was a voluntary withdrawal for personal reasons. People change schools mid-year sometimes, just because family moved for example. What you want to make sure is that there is no misconception that there was an academic or disciplinary issue involved.
Horrible situation. I agree to try to go online and stick it out as long as you can at your current school. Wait to get into boarding schools then cross that bridge when you get there. Don’t throw up any flags now. Good luck!!
I agree with what the PPs have said and want to add please don’t forget that if they are admitting your son for BS, they want him to attend. They will work with you to make sure he is set up for success next year. So when you tell them what’s going on and that he may be attending a different school for the rest of the year, they may want him to take specific online classes or to make sure there are no gaps in his education in the next 6 months. IMO, this is not a big deal and I suspect it’s something they deal with a lot. People move, things happen. But from your perspective, it’s harder because you’re dealing with the emotional piece of it. I am so sorry. It will all work out particularly because you are taking great care with your DS.
Hire an education lawyer to do this for you. Really. Otherwise you risk his acceptance being withdrawn once the new school hears that the old school thinks you’re the problem (I know you’re not. This is just how it works). This should cost you a relatively small retainer, probably $500-1000. You need the lawyer to write the letter to withdraw and send transcripts, including in the letter the reason you left. Then they should send without gossiping to new school. Good luck!