Interesting opinion piece in the NYT. Sandberg says the catty/queen bee woman boss is a myth. She also makes a case that women are better at mentoring and promoting other women than men are, even though women are often penalized for doing so. The very “energetic” comments from female readers disagreeing with Sandberg surprised me!
So I’m curious: What has been your experience with women as bosses? Have you been mentored by women? If you are a woman, have you mentored other women? What would your employees (men and women) say about you as a female boss?
I don’t think I’ve ever had a male boss and all of my bosses have been phenomenal. But then again I’ve never really worked in a large, for-profit company.
I do not like the example she uses to illustrate her point. Skiers from Norway? The camaraderie of a team, the mentoring of the young generation - I have seen it all here among the members of my kiddo’s team. It is not the same when formal reporting is involved. Mentoring vs. reporting makes a huge difference. I have had awful (and excellent) bosses, both male and female, and great mentors, both male and female, but never an awful mentor.
I’ve had more difficulty with female bosses than my male bosses. I had one female boss that I felt did a great job mentoring. Ironically she left the business world and is now a full-time prof at a very selective university.
But I’ve experienced female professionals gossiping about inappropriate attire by other females in the office. However, the males also gossip about the same sartorial spectacles.
I’ve had female supervisors in the past and have one now.
You relate to people differently because they’re individuals, not because of their chromosomes.
Some people are strong mentors, some are not. Making generalizations based on gender is not only sexist, but useless … in a meritocracy.
"The best boss I ever had was a woman. I’d work for her again in a heartbeat.
The absolute worst boss I ever had was a woman. She hated the middle-aged women in her department and managed to lay off most of them. "
The best people I’ve ever flown with have been women, the worst people I’ve ever flown with have been women. I don’t mean flying ability, but the ability to get along with people. This is as me being the boss, and as them being the boss.
The best women have no chip on their shoulder, can work with you as a team to get the job done. They are pleasant, respectful (whether they are the boss or not), and consider your opinion, or take direction if they are not in charge. They speak up when it’s important, and ask your opinion when they are not sure. They are a pleasure to work with.
The worst women are cranky, rude, and go ballistic if you criticize them in any way. They have a massive chip on their shoulder and they are completely unpleasant and unpredictable to work with.
I have found, at least in my job, there is no in between. They are either awesome, a pleasure, or someone I never want to work with again. I think (and surely hope) that I am the type that people want to work with. I know that I am respectful and consider other people’s opinions. I never make them feel small.
Speaking as a male, the worst boss I’ve ever had was a male…dumped all his responsibilities on me on top of my already heavy workload working 12+ hour workdays so he could go home by 7. Had a few female bosses and they tended to be among the better than average to great.
One did have a bit of a temper and a tendency to throw tantrums* when under high pressure(biglaw environment)…but compensated for that with apologies afterwards and going out of her way to praise and award good performance.
Tantrums tend not to phase me though I have to be careful to restrain my urge to grin or ROTFLOL as I tend to find them to be funny, not scary. What does actually scare me....a boss/teacher** whose voice drops in volume into a stern low voice which if done right would put the chills into even the most rebellious/hardened student/adult.
** My HS US government/history teacher perfected this technique which was very effective in getting students to comply with her instructions, pay attention in class, or not screwing up/around in class. The fact she actually lowered her voice when she was angry/annoyed with us was actually far more effective than any amount of yelling or even pounding of fists on the desk/wall/table. One of the most strictest teachers I’ve ever had…but also one of the fairest in terms of grading/honest dealings so while we may not always like her strictness…we genuinely respected her.
It depends on the individual. Really There are excellent women bosses and terrible ones, and all sorts ones with different quirks good and bad in between.
Same story with male bosses. Some great, some horrible.
I don’t think gender plays much of a part in most circumstances.
I’ve had both, though more female. I don’t agree that there are any male-boss versus female-boss tendencies. They were all individuals, and as such had their own idiosyncratic strengths and weaknesses. I find this “male bosses are X and female bosses are y” very dated, 1970s and reductionist. I’ve had two male bosses whose empathy was off the charts. I agree with calmom here.
I work in an all woman non-profit and our boss is a woman. It’s great. What makes a great boss is one who allows autonomy but also expects accountability. I don’t think the sex of the boss matters. I think a good boss makes a group feel like a team that pulls together and supports each other. I don’t make a lot of money, but I love my job.
I am a woman boss. I mentor the young female workers all the time. Works with some, not others. I don’t know if anyone has an opinion on me just because I’m a woman. I am nice, but I also have high expectations for people. I try and be a place I’d want to work and balance the needs of the business and of the employee. Sometimes they don’t always understand I have a birds eye view and feel the responsibility for everyone. I notice some women just want to do that bare minimum, others want to climb up and learn more and grow. I’ve learned you can’t motivate externally for the long term, but anyone with the desire can move up from their current status.
I’ve had women managers who ended up being awful, a little power can sometimes turn people into power mongers. I have some really good ones now. I just had one woman who was too wishy washy ask to be moved to a different position, I just couldn’t build her confidence and it was easy to see why she was in the situation she was in her life.
I like managing the men in my company. They’re usually more direct and matter of fact. And funny - you get a group of guys together and generally they’ll be pretty funny. I don’t generally mentor the men, my husband will do that. It’s not that I can’t, they for the most part work for the division I only run from a distance.
I want to empower the young women to make decisions, take control of their lives and careers. So many come in so meek and compliant I can see how they’d be taken advantage of at other work places.
I’m currently working for the best boss I’ve ever had. She’s a woman.
But I’ve also had difficult bosses of both sexes.
I think employees and bosses relate to each other differently depending on the genders of both people involved, but there can be good versions and bad versions of all of the possible relationships.
I think it is a misconception that young women need female mentors - a young woman can do just as well with an excellent male mentor.
My daughter just graduated with a combined math/econ degree from a large institution. In her four years she had only 1 female math teacher and no female econ teachers (this was just how it worked out - both departments did have female teachers although they had more male teachers). When I related this to somebody at the school - she was aghast and replied what a shame that your daughter had no role model - I replied that the male teachers were her role models and that was fine with my daughter.
I also think it’s a factor of personal style. I tend to be a very direct, pragmatic person…I do “better” working with people who are direct and less concerned about touchy/feelie boss relationships. I do think by nurture or nature men tend to be more direct so I’ve had better functional relationships with my male managers. The female managers I’ve had that I worked well with were also more direct and more easy to work through disagreements with.
