<p>Making eye contact and a friendly (non-leering) smile is nice, but I can see why men often wait to see if the female chooses to initiate conversation. </p>
<p>When I just started law school, I was smiling and talking to people I saw in my classes. One of the males confided in me after we had become friends that he was just waiting for me to try to sell him something because the only other female whom he had met who was as friendly as me was trying to get him to convert and join her church. He was reassured I had no ulterior motives. </p>
<p>Really? Can’t imagine it’s that bad. The times I’ve been through, seems like a bunch of people in suits, looking stressed and hurrying to wherever they’re going. Not lounging around, looking at the girls as they walk by, leaning on the storefronts.</p>
<p>On a completely unrelated topic, but related to people being friendly for ulterior motives, some neighbors that we barely knew, invited us over for lunch a few weeks ago. It was really nice, and we had a great time. I thought, I could be friends with these pleasant people. Throughout the lunch, the lady made little hints about what her company does, just in conversation. Just as we were leaving, the husband said, “Honey, do you want to show our neighbors your companies product?” And then we got the hard sell. No, I don’t want to quit my occupation of 30 years, sell people your product, and be part of a pyramid scheme. So disappointing.</p>
<p>Yes, I’ve had people try to get us to come over for a “party,” skin evaluation, new business opportunity and similar. I went to one or two “parties,” but have been BUSY since. </p>
<p>In my experience, the white collar men who do the verbal harassment tend to chose targets more carefully rather than totally random people who are walking by–waitress who serves them, colleague in a “social setting,” like when out with the firm for drinks and hitting on all females in sight and hearing distance. It’s nasty having someone proposition you in front of your whole law firm–ick. Sadly, none of the men in my firm wanted to offend the sleezebag, so I got up, used the bathroom and moved FAR away. A waitress did file a formal complaint against him later. Sadly, don’t think he has ever mended his ways. </p>
<p>As I mentioned, I lived in Manhattan for 17 years. For the last three years of that time, I worked on Wall Street. And I did not get harassed on Wall Street. Upper West Side, yes. Times Square, yes. Murray Hill, yes. Chelsea, yes. Upper East Side, yes. But not Wall Street. </p>
<p>
I am generally a very optimistic person, but remembering a lot of this harassment from my 20s and 30s, my hackles are rising. </p>
<p>You know, some people <em>are</em> outgoing and friendly, with no particular ulterior motive, other than enjoying interacting with other human beings. ;)</p>
<p>My daughter is very attractive, stop traffic attractive. I never realized how much things bothered her until recently when she brought up how badly women are treated and what type of behavior she has had to endure.</p>
<p>When I was younger and visiting Provincetown MA, walking down the street, I was propositioned by several men. One guy actually said to me “You don’t have to be so dull”. As a male, I was pretty taken back by that behavior. It the person was an attractive female, I’m pretty sure my feelings would have been a lot different.</p>
<p>Yea, Deb, the fellow law student came to that conclusion and we invited one another to each other’s weddings after we had our law degrees. I attended his but he didn’t fly to HI years later for mine. </p>
<p>I’ve always been very friendly with strangers. Most quickly understand that I’m not selling anything. </p>
<p>H is more introverted but neither he nor S nor any of my extended family would ever engage in the harassment in the video (tho some do enjoy looking at attractive people who pass). </p>
<p>Wow. We are moving backwards?
As a college intern (and I think a pretty vulnerable looking kid, full of long blond hair and sundresses swinging down the street like Mary Tylor Moore) I got hassled once, it was pretty serious ( doorman who intervened told me guy was a pimp) but never heard catcalls or got groped on the bus. I feel so lucky and so sad. My daughters were supposed to live in am equal loving universe that unfortunately won’t happen because of pigs.</p>
<p>These days, the only time I get a car horn honked at me is with a wave, if the like the candidate whose name appears on my Tshirt. </p>
<p>I’m sad that there appear to be many people of both genders and a range of ages who are subject to harassment in a wide range of settings. I’m hoping D isn’t, as she hasn’t told of more than one incident. This is depressing. </p>
<p>“Wow. We are moving backwards?
As a college intern (and I think a pretty vulnerable looking kid, full of long blond hair and sundresses swinging down the street like Mary Tylor Moore) I got hassled once, it was pretty serious ( doorman who intervened told me guy was a pimp) but never heard catcalls or got groped on the bus. I feel so lucky and so sad. My daughters were supposed to live in am equal loving universe that unfortunately won’t happen because of pigs”</p>
<p>I suspect your daughters will be fine most places. I think it’s less a sign of the times than the area where people are walking through.</p>
<p>Here’s the article the points out the racism in the first video and Jessica Williams in a Jon Stewart video about it with women of many races and ages. The video is towards the bottom of the page. </p>
<p>Mine was harassed in France, luckily I was behind her and was about to do my mamabear maul so the guy quickly apologized. But I was ready and willing to hit someone and I had an excuse. : D</p>
<p>I saw a tweet today ( commenting on the video)that asked for women to retweet if they were harassed before they were 18.</p>
<p>As I have mentioned before, I was molested by a group of boys when I was waiting for a bus at my suburban junior high school. In the winter.i had appropriate clothing on, I was not provocative in any way- plus I was only 13.
My daughter was followed in our neighborhood and made to feel unsafe when she was 11 yrs old.</p>
<p>Earlier this week an 11 yr old was killed by her grandfather because her mother confronted him about his repeated molestation of his granddaughter.
( she was also killed)</p>
<p>It has been a long time since females were considered property of men in this country, but sometimes you wouldn’t know it.</p>