<p>Hello all, I have been reading this board for YEARS. i think before I even started college, have been done for a few years, but only now just started posting.
I have some trouble expressing my thoughts even in writing, so I hope everyone can understand what I am asking. I would like some adult imput, since I don’t have a big source of it elsewhere.
I have been working full time in a job I do not like very much, often dread going to, moved hundreds of miles away for, for a few years. I have recently decided to cut back on my hours when given the oppurtunity to do so at work. I do not want to go into too many specifics… With these new hours, I would be making about $8,000 less a year before tax, but a lot more in reality since I was doing overtime everyweek. I feel like I have been heavily judged for this, by others such as some friends, the few adults in my life. I think they now see me as lazy etc. Even with that much less money, I will still have plenty to pay my bills and save etc. Does your view of someone change significantly if they work 40 hours vs 60 a week? I am not going to be getting food stamps, asking for money, not paying bills, etc. I am just completly overwhelmed with the 60-80 hour work weeks and want a break, possible long term one, so i have reduced my work hours significantly. I was semi suprised at the criticism because I do not see why I should have to waste my youth away working 80 hours a week when I do not have to do this financially. Yes, it would be nice to drive a flashier car, maybe buy a super nice house in my late 20s but I do not know that I really care all that much about that now… Would you criticise your young adult children for cutting back on work hours if they still worked enough to save, pay all bills, never asked you for any money? Health insurance will not be affected at all. Any input is appreciated.</p>
<p>I don’t see any problem with what you’re doing if that’s what you want to do and it’s really no one else’s business.</p>
<p>one of the really nice things about being older is that it really doesn’t matter to me anymore what anyone else thinks about what I do or who I am or how I choose to live my life. I never thought I would get to this point, even though people said I would. Now, I can’t believe how much energy I wasted on that when I was younger.</p>
<p>As long as you are self-supporting, I don’t even know why you would bother to tell someone that you were cutting back your hours. It’s not their business.</p>
<p>I once heard somebody say, “If you are waiting for somebody to give you permission to live the life you want, you are going to be waiting a long time.” </p>
<p>Life is too long to spend it living somebody else’s dreams. it really just is.</p>
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No, unless they gave up a well-paying 60-hour job far away to move back into my home for a poorly-paying dead-end 40-hour job and plenty of couch-gaming time. If all someone is doing is cutting back on the same job, that’s their business. As long as they continued to be self-supporting outside my home, it’s their call. </p>
<p>If they asked my opinion, I’d point out that 20-40 new hours is a lot of new free time. I’d be interested to know what they planned to DO with that time. Are they thinking of some new activities, time to develop friendships, exercise/health, volunteer in the community, personal development, learn to cook…? Those are all good goals that don’t pay money but make for a better adulthood. </p>
<p>I’d also recognize it might take a few months to figure out which direction that new time might take. I’d expect some months of free-fall and long walks in the park. If someone’s been working very hard and pulls back, they haven’t even had time to identify what they want to do with the time they crave. After a reasonable recovery time, though, I’d look for some vitality in the person to know they made a good choice.</p>
<p>Thanks for the replies. I would still be 100% self supporting, meaning all bills, rent, food, anything I use/have I pay for. I do not know what I plan on doing with the new time off. Mostly exercising, sleeping and probably watching television. If anything I think the weeks spent working 80 hours aged me greatly… Because all I would do is work/sleep and my health took a huge dive downward. I know 80 hour work weeks are common in some industries, but I dunno how people do it for years and years unless they financially have to. I am not the type to do it just to climb the ladder or to buy a BMW instead of a Honda. I think some of the disappointment comes from that, I suppose.</p>
<p>most people who work those kind of hours their whole life really love what they are doing. it does happen.</p>
<p>It might still happen to you, as you get older and find your way into other areas. You never know.</p>
<p>In the meantime, as long as you can pay the bills and save some money, too, don’t mind other people. Maybe you will find some volunteer work to do, too, or some new interests, or new friends. Please dont spend the extra time watching too much TV, though. It will make you fat and boring. 
Go see some plays and concerts, instead.</p>
<p>There are certain types of work – investment banking and law come to mind here – where working an extraordinary number of hours is what’s expected from young employees. It’s a kind of rite of passage, and you have to do it if you’re going to have a future with that company or others like it.</p>
<p>So if people are worried about you cutting back on your hours, it may be because they feel that you’re sabotaging your career.</p>
<p>And they may be right.</p>
<p>But your decision could still be a good one.</p>
<p>After all, you need to do what’s right for you. And evidently, working these kinds of hours is not right for you. </p>
<p>Just realize that cutting back on your hours may not be all that you’re doing. You also may be limiting your future in the line of work that you’re in right now. If that’s the case, you may want to use some of your new free time to explore the possibility of switching to a different type of job – one that would use your skills but not expect as much in the way of work hours. There’s no huge rush, but it’s worth giving some attention to your long-term career plans.</p>
<p>My job sometimes requires me to work 60-80 hours a week, but thankfully just occasionally/at certain times of the year. I am the parent of a college age child but I agree, it’s very tiring and I feel it ages me and takes a toll on me when I put in a schedule like that.</p>
<p>Plus, I have a family and want to be able to spend time with them. My youngest is about to graduate from HS in less than 2 months and I want to enjoy the time left. I’m not going to miss important events.</p>
<p>I have worked in corporate cultures in the past where if the “young professional talent” didn’t put their time in, they didn’t advance. For example, in an accounting firm, two young people met, married. When they had their first child, the mother restricted her hours to 40 a week because of child-care issues. She was put on the mommy-track and passed over for promotions at that point due to her perceived lack of commitment.</p>
<p>I left shortly after that (H was transferred for his job) so I don’t know how it worked out for her. This was 20 years ago and hopefully the culture has improved since then.</p>
<p>There have been many times over the past decades where I have decided to sacrifice my career advancement because of the necessary balance I needed for my family and for my health. But it was a choice I was willing to make.</p>
<p>You have run into a particularly American conundrum. There are countries where working long hours is not such a common expectation. I don’t blame you in the slightest for wanting to cut down on the hours worked. Yes, as pointed out above, you may be passed over in certain industries if being compared to the workaholics. But attempting to figure out some balance in your adult life is a positive thing. But be sure you are finding life sustaining activities with that new free time, involvement with friends and your community, exercise, learning new skills. </p>
<p>In my area there is an employer that regularly exacts these long hours from their young employees. It is a interesting field and well paid place to work, but quite a number quit entirely as the demands become too much, year after year. </p>
<p>I frequently think back on the promise of the early 1960s. Automation would allow us all to work a 30 hour week, and we’d be living happy healthy lives. How did that morph into 60 hour weeks for some and high unemployment, even among the educated? </p>
<p>Regarding adult expectations, seeing offspring achieve success is a wonderful thing for us. In some communities bragging rights are much enjoyed. Is this step away from stress being perceived as a step away from an onward and upward career path?</p>
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Why are you still there if you don’t like being there? Even though you made a commitment to work there, can you find something else you like?
I think this tells me more about you and your work environment. You don’t like working in this environment. Some places are like that. Some fields are like that. Example: law offices and investment houses require notoriously long hours of their junior associates. It’s not that you can’t continue there, but it’s quite likely you won’t move ahead, especially compared to those who do not mind the hours. Being a clock watcher makes the time drag even more.</p>
<p>I think the answer to your question is if you are miserable, maybe you should be looking for a new job as well as cutting back your hours to something more reasonable. The tiredness you talk about could be the long hours (and I work those kind of hours routinely, late nights, weekends, etc) or you might find that a 40 hour week there still wears you out. 60-80 hour weeks seems to leave a lot of time for doing other things, but in reality it doesn’t, depending on how it is broken up. 60 hours a week of 12 hour, 5 days may not be bad, for example, because it could leave the weekend free to do things, but if those extra hours involve weekend work that can mess up the weekend. On top of that, what free time someone has often ends up being used in catching up on sleep, taking away from ‘useful’ things someone could be doing <em>shrug</em>.</p>
<p>If this was a place where you expected to make a career then such a move might hurt you, but if you see this simply as a place to make a living, for however long, then it might be wise to cut back, if financially you can afford it.The only worry I have for you is how will cutting back those hours be perceived? Given the economy out there, which is still not exactly booming, and the attitudes of many companies, cutting back your hours like that may work against you if, for some reason, the company decides to cut back on personnel and lays people off, it is possible someone will look at you, and say ‘this person isn’t putting in the effort’ and use that as criteria to decide to lay you off (I am not saying this is absolutely the truth, since I can’t know that), but if you are planning to stay with this company that might be a consideration. (And if that is legitimate, may be another reason to find another job).</p>
<p>There are plenty of places out there that expect long hours, and it isn’t just junior associates, there is a culture of that across the board. Places like Goldman Sachs are notorious for the hours expected, when you interview there they tell you outright they expect you to work late each night, it is expected (and quite frankly to me that attitude is idiotic, because in a lot of cases people hang out simply to hang out, they don’t get any more work done simply by being there late), and I am talking the tech side of things and support services. I worked a job like that when I started out, and it was one of the reasons I left there, where they expected long hours for no reason. On the other hand, in most of my career the long hours reflect the kind of environment i.e it wasn’t so much long hours were expected, it was the nature of the business, we worked as long as needed to to get things done, not to make some idiot happy that he was getting 12 hours of work out of someone but in effect paying them for 7 or 8…it all depends. Speaking from my own experience, working long hours where it is to get things done is a lot different then working long hours to feed the expectations of idiots, when you enjoy and respect what you are doing and can see the reason for putting in the effort, it makes a big difference.</p>
<p>In the end, the decision is yours, and I agree with others, don’t be as worried as what others think. In my experience, if you are working, paying your bills and supporting yourself, few people will think you are lazy if you work a 40 hour week instead of a 60 hour one, and someone who thinks that quite frankly has more then a few screws loose IMO:)</p>
<p>Change jobs! You will still be self supporting and have time to enjoy your life. You are young enough to change paths- don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut and be afraid to try something you may enjoy more. Time is money- it sounds like the time gained will far surpass the dollars given up. Good luck.</p>
<p>Don’t worry what others think. 60-80 hr work week is ridiculous! I’m finding that this generation are not as ambitious or a career driven as those of the previous generations. They are more interested in social development, creativity expression than pounding the pavement with work. These are all characteristics of the Y Generation. They are less interested in making their career primary in their life.<br>
If you are comfortable and happier, then by all mean do what is right for you, regardless of what others may tell you or lead you to believe.</p>
<p>I knew someone who went part time at a law firm…she basically worked 40 hours a week. :eek: Your career trajectory will suffer, but there are more important things in life. I’d use your free time to find another job situation…</p>
<p>Thank you all for your replies! I am not in law, accounting or IB. Hint my user name might help A LOT. Burnout in this field is pretty high. I am less concerned with what the employer thinks as apposed to my parents etc. I dunno, I guess part of me also sees my self as lazy. But all those hours were starting to negatively affect my life in different aspects. 12 hour days/nights (another clue) are really more like 13 hour days/nights, when you factor drive to and from work. Not including getting ready for work etc. I guess, i just have to know that I made the best choice for me, and let others judge away.</p>
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<p>You will never know that you made the “best” choice, any more than you could have known that X university – rather than Y or Z – was the “best” college for you.</p>
<p>What you do need to know is that you made a good choice – one that makes sense for you. If you still think that it was a good choice, despite the possible long-term impact on your career, then I think you have answered your question.</p>
<p>If you’re still unsure about your own decision that is fine because it takes time to adjust personally. When not sure, however, the comments of others (=your parents) take on more power and importance than they might deserve.</p>
<p>I think you’ll find that when you come to terms with your own choice, you’ll start to emit a bit of confidence about that. Don’t rush emitting a false confidence, but hopefully it’ll come in time. </p>
<p>At that point, others (=your parents) might stop judging you so harshly, simply because it’s hard to take potshots at someone who’s reasonably happy and healthy. Or, if they sound the same 5 years from now, their judgment will become background noise, like the sound of rain patter outside your window.</p>
<p>Meanwhile you can tell others “enough said, I heard you the l0th time” or “Can we please stop rehashing my decision? It hurts my feelings…” or whatever isn’t too rude in your setting.</p>
<p>At your age someone told me something that helped: “The day I separated myself from the opinions of others, I became an adult.”</p>
<p>ETA: If you find somewhere down the road, in the next year or two, that this wasn’t a good decision for you, you’re still young enough to change that, too. I’ve seen many people regroup, change jobs and careers, go through a withdrawal and come back even stronger. I don’t believe one’s life has to move in a steady forward stream all the time. But, full disclosure (referring to your OP): I drive a used car and it was never a BMW!</p>
<p>Wondering: did you surprise your parents/family completely or did they have a few hints that you weren’t happy and were considering a big change? My kids have done small things I disagree with and find out about later. Big decisions, though, I have a sense they’re coming. And I make my comments then, during the decision process. Then if my child goes in a different direction, at least I felt I had a chance to weigh in and my thoughts were considered on their balance sheet. I can more easily accept being decided against than having no say in a major decision! And some young people don’t want to share impending decisions with parents because “I know what they’ll say about it” and it’ll be to disagree. But every family’s different. Just something to think about. You had time to think about this before acting; maybe they didn’t and are just processing their surprise now.</p>
<p>@pageagain – Are you thinking that if you can just convince the people who are critiquing you of your position then everything will be OK? Are you thinking that you just need to convince them the way you are trying to convince us?</p>
<p>They may never hear you. These are people who don’t respect the boundaries of your legally being an adult, not really. You may never get their approval for what you have decided to do. If your goal is to have their approval then you better do what they say and start working 60 hour weeks again. If your goal is to live the life that you want then you are going to have to learn to not care what they think.</p>
<p>Here’s my two cents as a middle-age adult who went from full-time to part-time in a professional setting where everyone else still works full-time:</p>
<ul>
<li>Don’t assume that others are criticizing you because they think you are doing the wrong thing. They may actually be jealous.The biggest comment I get from my peers is that they envy me. I could afford to do it (we live on my husband’s salary and bank mine), most of my peers could not. My employer valued my work enough that they would rather have me part-time than not at all.</li>
</ul>
<p>-Having said that, when I first went part-time, people in my department kept making wise-cracks about it, at times in meetings in front of our superiors. I finally asked them to stop doing that because I felt like they were implying I wasn’t serious about my job. They did, for the most part, stop. I still occasionally get that but I am quick to point out reduced hours=reduced salary.</p>
<p>-Understand that by working less you may be placing an additional burden on your co-workers. It’s not like the work goes away if you aren’t there as many hours. Someone needs to do it and it will be either you trying to fit 60 hours of work into a 40 hour schedule or your co-workers picking up the slack. This may cause some resentment and you need to be sensitive to it. I handle it by making myself available sometimes outside my normal schedule and being flexible. There are occasional weeks when I go over my scheduled 24 hours because things just have to get done. My boss is always appreciative of it and I will often work less in slower weeks to balance it out.</p>
<p>-By not working at the same pace as your peers, you are indeed giving up some future opportunities but that is okay if you know that going in and aren’t going to be disappointed 5 years down the road.</p>
<p>Other than than, I say go for it and don’t worry about what others think. I would never work 60+ hours a week but my husband does and loves it. He loves what he does so he doesn’t see it as a burden. Everyone has a different perspective on this. If I were young and had to do it over again I would make sure that I found a career that I totally loved. Most of us have no choice but to work, so it might as well be at something you really enjoy. Good luck!!</p>
<p>I wouldn’t think any less of someone but not knowing all the details could, as Marian suggested, make the answer to your situation a different one. A workweek of 60-80 hours may seem ridiculous to some but in some situations, it is expected and those who are not willing to work those kinds of hours will likely have to search for another job. It isn’t possible there to just cut back. Working for the large investment banks and law firms are two examples. However, students headed for that type of career should know that up front and shouldn’t be surprised by it once they start work. It isn’t likely that that is your situation because you mention overtime pay and that certainly doesn’t happen in IB or law. 
Take a good look at your job and determine if it’s the right place for you, even with shorter hours. If you can cut back and take some time to evaluate without jeopardizing your position, that’s good. If you still hate it, start the search for something else. You don’t have to love your job, most people don’t, but to absolutely hate going to work isn’t a good position to be in. Part of your evaluation should be your future with this company. If working lots of overtime is expected and necessary in order to advance, that is something to consider. You may at this time of your life be happy with the reduced earnings but in years to come, when you have a significant other and children, you may feel differently. If your current decision affects advancement, you may come to regret that.</p>