<p>Just curious how others handle this. I’ve been at my job almost a year, and thought partner would want to go, just out of curiosity to put faces to names of my colleagues.</p>
<p>If spouses are invited, you absolutely should. However, some office parties are for employees only. Check with your co-workers to see what’s expected.</p>
<p>Check with colleagues.</p>
<p>I just had the office holiday party last night. It was emphasized to us that this was a working evening, but spouses/partners were strongly encouraged to attend. Strange standard? Who knows. Work is rarely a search for truth.</p>
<p>Cultures vary widely. This is not a good place to make assumptions, even based on past experience.</p>
<p>One final bit of advice:</p>
<p>Sparkling water with lime looks a lot like Gin and tonic. You don’t want to be the talk of the office the next week, whether due to dress, behaviour, too much alcohol. I can assure you that last night at my office party, one guest inserted himself into the gossip discussion thread for a few weeks. Don’t follow him.</p>
<p>Spouses are definitely invited, and my s/o stands out as only one not going. I certainly am not one to drink at such parties, nor dress provacatively, which is why these are "work"parties.</p>
<p>I agree that it’s a good idea to find out what the prevailing expectations are and go along, particularly if you’ve only been in the job a year. That said, hub and I are happy to avoid each other’s office parties and are glad we work in fields where spousal involvement is neither required nor even expected. I’d rather clean the garage than go to an office party, holiday or otherwise.</p>
<p>I work for a small not-for-profit, and must plan and stage several holiday events each year for our members. That’s enough partying for this old gal. I always save my last vacation day of the year for our own office party and go Christmas shopping instead.</p>
<p>Do people still drink themselves into oblivion at office parties? Seems so early-1960s to me.</p>
<p>Frazzled, that’s cute–you plan the party and then avoid it. I’ll do that next year.</p>
<p>The best thing that ever happened was when my husband’s company quit having Christmas parties. Dreadful.</p>
<p>I wish husband’s company would quit having holiday parties.
I don’t see how they can justify the expense at the same time they’re firing people. How joyful.</p>
<p>This year, H and I have duelling parties. In fact, I’m supposed to be at 2 at the same time. So we will have no trouble inventing excuses for not attending the other one’s office party.</p>
<p>ASAP: Yeah, they saved so much money ending the Christmas parties that they were able to give the CEO a 14% raise from $2.6 million to $3.1 million! (And their ex-CEO was sent away with a nice $12.9 million package. He is implicated in a tax scandal…) Nice. </p>
<p>(Of course, laying of tens of thousands, raising health insurance rates by thousands, and moving jobs to Mexico probably freed up a little money too…)</p>
<p>I just got back from my office holiday party–without my spouse. We are welcome to bring our spouse or come alone. About 1/3 to 1/2 bring family members the rest come alone. My spouse prefers not to come & prefers to go alone to his office events. It works well for us. Some of my collegues like having their spouse & bring their spouse.</p>
<p>I agree it’s important to find out what the “prevailing culture” is for folks you consider your peers & act accordingly. Also, very little alcohol (if any) is safest. Being the unintended talk of the office for months will NOT help your career.</p>
<p>Thanks all. Party over, thank goodness. I did think it could be a theme for a Larry David show. That is, does a spouse, boyfriend need to attend the first year, and then is free to avoid parties forever? I can picture Larry refusing to go, but George and Jerry would have a definite protocol.</p>
<p>I go to my husbands office party every year. It’s okay. The food is great and there are several people there that I know and can talk to. The only weird thing is that it’s always cold so I have to figure out how to dress warmly and look nice at the same time. My husband is a very social guy so he enjoys himself the whole evening.</p>
<p>If you bring your spouse you are FAR less likely to do something stupid.</p>
<p>Lets see…Gather a bunch of people, some whom cant handle liquor and some with big chips on their shoulders and some of whom are harboring simmering animosities, what could go wrong? </p>
<p>Office Christmas parties are fraught with danger. Have one drink, shake allot of hands, be seen by allot of people and quietly leave early.</p>
<p>We don’t cross-socialize with each other’s work environment much at all and the idea of going to socialize with a bunch of real estate agents threatens a case of terminal ennui just from the contemplation. </p>
<p>However, occasions come up where I meet folks that TheMom works with and my biggest problem is to keep from an inadvertant equivalent of “I’ve heard so much about you!” and keeping a good memory of the political minefields of the past 20 years and avoiding all of them, all while preserving a reputation of not being “a boring spouse.” Aiyeee!!!
Take yesterday, when I told a “Brit joke” to a Brit, for instance. At least we were on good footing after discussing Diana Rigg, Patrick McNee, Patrick McGoohan, and the latest Jane Austen flick. {When cornered, TheDad flips through dictionary phrasebook and says: “I speak Masterpiece Theater.”}</p>
<p>My husband pouts if I don’t go with him to events that are hosted by his friends from work, but he always makes excuses not to go to events hosted by my friends from work. Honestly, I’d rather just stay home. When I was younger, I loved going to parties, etc., but now, I love kicking back and reading a book or watching a movie.</p>
<p>Splashmom
Seems like gender bias–females go even if they’d rather be home in a bubble bath or reading. Once at the party, I suspect the women are socialized so well they can make small talk and not embarrass the hubby.</p>
<p>I always go with DH to his office party, but NEVER let him come to mine, as it is all-girl, like the company, and why would we ruin it!!</p>
<p>Oh god. I just hated it when I had to go to H’s law firm parties early on. I was a stay at home mom then. Those lawyers looked at me like I had poopy diapers on my head and would be unable to speak.</p>