Personally, I do not like them. I think they can result in hurt feelings and jealousy. A friend casually mentioned to me that this year, the HR took over the planning of their annual event and indicated that as a boss, said friend needs to buy a more extravagant gift (something along the lines of an iPod) for the annual company’s gift exchange. It used to be a low key, potluck style event, and people participated as they wished. The rule was that no more than $20 should be spent on the gift. The managers typically abstained from participating… so the subordinates would not feel “obligated” to steal the boss’s gifts. I told the person that I think this is a terrible idea. First, the HR is telling how someone has to spend their money. Second, even though there is a randomness element to the game, the person who will be the next to last holder of the more extravagant gift will feel like a 4th place Olympic gymnast… Third, the HR should stay out of such things. Your thoughts?
I own a business and banned all gift exchanges. It just never worked out without drama. Plus you never know someone’s financial situation and I never want people to feel burdened. I give bonuses and we do a big party every other year and a potluck that week. I have had people privately thank me. No one should have to spend money to come to work.
If you’re talking about the kind of gift exchange also called a Yankee swap, I hate these things. No one ever ends up really happy. Whoever gets the best gift has to take it from someone else, making the “taker” feel like a grinch and the “takee” like a loser left with something inferior.
I also dislike the idea of making people spend money for office gifts. The exception for me is Secret Santa in a close office. If people know each other well and genuinely like each other it can be fun to give a series of very small secret gifts. We used to do one where the final gift had to be something of less than $5. There were a lot of funny poems, homemade gifts and other small items. If the office mates don’t really know each other the fun of SS is lost, so I wouldn’t recommend it unless everyone’s on board.
I despise white elephant exchanges. My in-laws really love them and we do them at all of their family Christmas parties (with their large extended family and with family friends). Only a few people come out happy and it’s so impersonal. Most people are just grumpy afterwards.
I don’t have a problem with Secret Santa gifts as long as there is a small limit. We do it with my research assistants because we’re a close bunch and I put a limit of $20 total.
Don’t understand why HR felt the need to be involved, dictating the monetary value of gifts given to some employees, and allow supervisory employees to be involved.
Doesn’t HR and the company realize how much all that leaves an environment not only for hurt feelings, but also abuse of power/conflicts* of interest and the possible resulting lawsuits???
- Even if it's a secret santa in a close office described by Sue22....supervisors/managers/bosses should stay out of it out of an abundance of good caution and sense.
I used to go to an event where a holiday swap of this sort was done. I found the only way to come out of it feeling relatively good was to essentially not participate. I would just unwrap the gift, assume I wouldn’t keep it, and not take someone else’s gift when someone took mine. I would only switch when I knew I’d opened something someone else would like better than what they had. I ended up bringing something new I already had and chalking its loss up to the cost of the party.
How can anyone feel good in this sort of thing? There’s only one winner, half the game is dissing things other people brought and presumably thought others would want, and if you do unwrap something you like chances are someone will take it from you. The only way to get something you like is to a. be the last person and steal someone else’s joy or b. get something everyone else thinks is less valuable than what they got.
The swap ended the year the host finally realized many of us weren’t getting into the game, which felt to me to be mean-spirited and not in the holiday spirit.
These exchanges are horrible. I have been forced to do a couple as part of a few organizations I work with. Last time there was a $10 limit, so I put a $10 bill in a box. Why waste my time buying anything. Ended up with a small stuffed animal I dropped in Toys for Tots on my way home, so there was some silver lining.
I would actually prefer everyone in the office participate in whatever’s going on. Otherwise it feels rather condescending, as if the manager is too good for the office celebration or is unwelcome among the hoi polloi. I had fun the year I had my boss as my recipient because I got to gently roast her in a poem. If she hadn’t been someone I could do this with I would have given a small gift or written a more straightforward poem.
In any case spending a lot of money isn’t a good idea in an office, and without a strict limit people sometimes feel obligated to produce a gift they can’t easily afford on a strict holiday budget.
My art association does a $5 or less or homemade thing. Since we are all artists there are often little ornaments or pins in the mix. The way we do it is you put everything in a bag. If you brought something you can pull something out. If you didn’t, you don’t. We open them on the spot, and no one knows who brought what, though some people spill the beans. I think it’s pretty low-key. Some years I have been too lazy to participate, but most years I do.
DH worked at a small company last year and they provided a budget of $20 per person towards buying a gag gift for the exchange. So no one was out any money, and it was pretty funny seeing what people came up with when they weren’t spending their own money. For the most part, I would rather just have that $20 in a gift card. But, that company liked to party.
I think obligating employees to spend hard-earned $$ of their own isn’t right. I remember my first job those of us near minimum wage would have to cough up as much money for the owner and managers gifts as those who had been working there a long time and had much higher salaries. I always thought that was really unfair.
I love the people I work with, but every year, a collection is taken to buy gifts for the directors and rest of upper staff, to thank them for their support of us. I mean, they are all lovely, incredibly supportive people, but really? I’m buying gifts for the brass?
Agreed with the absurdity. Especially considering the stated purpose is to thank them for essentially fulfilling the minimum obligations and duties of their higher-level positions.
In my mind, that’s like a student and/or parent(s) who expect an instructor to award them an A and requisite praise for turning in C quality work…
HATE HATE HATE Yankee swaps! Even our church events didn’t turn out well. So stupid. I stopped going to them, even if it meant I missed a party.
My office does white elephant stuff where we all bring in gaily-wrapped gag gifts, typically tacky stuff we ourselves had received as gifts. I participate with good will and feigned enthusiasm since that’s part of being a leader but I find it stupid, not funny, and would rather just have a nice end of year lunch.
On the other hand. We do collect for nice gifts for our co presidents. It’s completely un- mandatory. I don’t have a problem with it; if it weren’t for their founding and running the company, we wouldn’t have jobs.
I won’t let anyone buy a manager anything. People took it so hard at first. You would think I was the biggest scrooge. Now that the rules are clear and accepted I don’t think anyone cares, or at least not one tells me.
Here’s what is bugging me a little right now. I gave bonuses and Christmas cards last week and a whole bunch of people didn’t even thank me. You don’t need to kiss my ass, I don’t do it for the thanks, im showing my appreciation, but if you can’t bother to drop me an email it makes me think you don’t care about getting it.
The money wasted on this crap exchange could be put to a much better use if it was spent on getting gifts for a needy family! One company where I used to work woukd get a name and a wishlist from a local charity; we would collect money and gifts, and then have a gift-wrapping potluck lunch in the kitchen. That was our teambuilding holiday event. Anyone can participate in the party regardless of their donation. Some younger associates were still paying their school loans, so no one pressured anyone.
I think a Yankee Swap only works if there are a few silly gifts thrown in the mix and nobody really cares what they take away from it.
A nerf gun was the prized item last year.
I must agree though that I have only participated in one that I found entertaining (my husband, who never shops, got our portion of the gifts from a second-hand store and my sister-in-law provided many of the others, including a 24 oz tin of San Marzano tomatoes).
This year, I got a collection of peppery items (wasabi peas, peppercorns, chili chocolate, sriracha sauce, etc.) and put them in a baking dish (since our office has a popular bake off) and I am hoping that most people will be entertained and there may be one or two people who wouldn’t mind keeping it as a gift.
I love going to our Christmas party and participating in the gift exchange- which happens to be both voluntary and anonymous. The most that should be spent is $25, gifts are dropped at the admins desk and then volunteers transport them to our luncheon. If you are playing, you draw a number and then it starts. You see mostly alcohol and gift cards, with the occasional strange gift. We have the ‘keeper’ gifts that return every year- the fake rock that hides a house key, a make your own beer kit, etc. One of our guys emcees and he’s great with off the cuff remarks. Everyone has a good time and many laughs- even the people who don’t participate in the gift exchange.
I can see the other side- if this was mandatory and I got a crappy gift, I’d be pissed.
Our white elephant exchange was clearly a regift event…and it was lots of fun. The only thing…younhad to remember NOT to bring anything someone from the work place had give you 