<p>My daughter is an exceptionally smart young woman, 18 years old and she already speaks 3 languages fluently (english, spanish and french) and plans on learning german, italian and portuguese in the next year. We got her IQ tested when she was 14 and the result was 128, her whole life we have been telling her to do well in school in order to succeed in life and she has always seemed like she was doing just that, however, she recently emailed me (she is currently studying in Canada for a year in a french immersion program) the following:</p>
<p>Dear mom and pops:
Canada is amazing, I’m making so many new friends… Dad, you asked me for a brief outline of what university I planned to attend next year and I know I’ve been putting it off and you guys are worried that I won’t send in my applications soon enough or something, but I guess it’s time you guys knew my plan. I don’t want to go to University…don’t freak mom, finish reading first. I don’t want to go to university yet…
I want to take a year off before to move to Germany, establish myself, learn the language, get a residency etc before applying to university there (If I like it there). I want to get a bachelors of medicine and surgery and then go on to become a reconstructive surgeon. I know this isn’t what you guys had planned and dad… I know you want me to go to University right away, but this is what I want to do!
Don’t worry, I’m not rushing into germany without knowing anything about it, I’ve researched the culture, language…even the food and popular trends! I’ve also taken a course with “Oxford Seminars” and have my TESOL/TESL certification (basically this means I can teach english).</p>
<p>As I said before, I don’t know what to think of this, we have always asumed our daughter would go on to university and we are worried that this might affect her chances of getting into a good school. So far, what she could have put on her application was: 3 languages, studied in Mexico, France and Canada, 80% (minimum) average through entire education, social work (helping children with m.d), school musical in grade 12, French play for a contest in grade 12, and I wasn’t worried about her essay as she is an exceptional writer.</p>
<p>What should I tell her when I call her up? Her father is disapointed and I am speechless…we feel like she is throwing away her future. Will a year off affect her chances of getting into a good university?</p>
<p>She sounds like a mature young women with a plan. Although I would prefer to see my kids go right to college from high school, your daughter sounds like she knows what she is doing. How is she going to support herself?</p>
<p>This is one of the most creative and complete plans I’ve heard from someone her age. She’s not saying she won’t go to university. She’s saying she might like to go to university in Germany. And she currently has very specific career goals that require a college education.</p>
<p>Now, if your concern is that she will be living so far away for such a long time, that’s a different story. That certainly would be understandable. But you need to approach that honestly with her–not “Omigod, you’re not going directly to university!”</p>
<p>I think taking a gap year is becoming more and more the norm, and not the exception. Same with doing a PG year at a prep school. It’s also true that there is the possibility of applying now and deferring admission for a year to do exactly what she proposes. I honestly don’t think that taking a year off to do something as constructive as she describes is a negative at all. I agree that she seems really quite mature for the age group. Be thankful she is talking to you and even more so that she has a plan.</p>
<p>Your daughter sounds mature, thoughtful and intelligent. And well-organized gap years are highly regarded at top schools as an indication that this isn’t someone who just ‘follows the crowd’ because ‘everyone’ is going to college. So be supportive and see where her ambitions take her.</p>
<p>By the way, agree that posting her essay here is a bad idea. You don’t know who might use it for what purpose.</p>
<p>A gap year learning to speak another foreign language fluently is really not a bad use of her time. She doesn’t need to decide now whether university in Germany is the right next step. Her plan is not unreasonable, and still leaves many options open.</p>
<p>At the Harvard info session, gap years were strongly encouraged. The guy said it would be a good idea before applying or after being admitted. I don’t think any school will mind at all.</p>
<p>Life is long…no hurry. OTOH, if my daughter was going to germany next year, I’d feel a little edgy about THAT and really feel for you there. Adventurous children are heartbreakers! I know, I have two.</p>
[quote]
Her father is disapointed and I am speechless…we feel like she is throwing away her future.[/quuote]
What? Huh? Are you reading the same message I am?</p>
<p>I would not have a problem with her plans. Yes, I would worry as that come with being a parent. But I would be most supportive.</p>
<p>Where I see problems is when a kid does not want to go on to college and has no other plans either. He just wants to kind of bum around. Even then, that may be the best thing for some kids to do, but that does send some signals that concern me. </p>
<p>A gap year is good idea for kids who just need that break from the academia. Most counselors suggest doing the college process anyways, just because it is easier to do as a high school senior and you are doing it with everyone and the school and process is all in step with you. That way you would have a college in your pocket as well as a future option even if you do not go right away. </p>
<p>My son was just tired of academics. I think that if his choices turned out to all be schools that were just a continuation of his rigorous high school, the outcome this first year of college would not have been good. He probably could have used a a year off. The problem was that he had no idea of any alternatives and was not interested in any that were presented. Still it could have been an enormous waste of money to have sent him to a school only to have him not engaged in the academics. Also stressful to the parents. </p>
<p>Your daughter, on the other hand, seems to have a pretty good plan for what she wants to do. If you want some insurance, ask if she’ll consider applying to some schools just to have one on the horizon for later. But it seems to me that she will be in great shape after taking the time abroad for honing in on some colleges that best fit her desires and interests.</p>
<p>Hey, OP. I did a gap year of sorts doing TESL in an Asian country, after high school and before university. I’ll be glad to suss out plans with your daughter, TESL’ing isn’t very easy or straightforward. Have her drop me an email: zooplankton @ gmail . com</p>
<p>I don’t want to sound nitpicky but why does the first post in response to any question on College Confidential from a student or parent have to be written sarcastically and smarkalecky? She is just asking a question. Don’t immediately look through her post and pick out everything that you think is worthy of criticism and point it out (incorrectly, too) in your response. Aside from that, in response to the worried parent, I would not worry at all. As a high school senior, I admire your daughter’s maturity. I highly doubt that I would be able to devise as intricate a plan. It really sounds like she knows what she wants and she WILL achieve it, in my opinion.</p>
<p>I think your daughter is demonstrating incredibly good judgment and maturity.
I also think it does her a disservice to post her letter to you in a public forum.</p>