<p>Overcoming adversity: A tragic tale of coping with a B+ in 9th grade Home Economics</p>
<p>My hero: How Jack Bauer influenced my decision to torture my English teacher until she raised my grade from a 99 to a 100 on a homework assignment</p>
<p>Settling for less: How I contemplated suicide after receving a 2380 on the SAT</p>
<p>My epic struggle to secure a spot on the JV team</p>
<p>Why I chose this school as my safety</p>
<p>What Sparknotes taught me about appreciating great literature</p>
<p>Growing up with abusive parents: The lessons I learned about growing up underprivileged when my parents refused to buy me another iPhone after I broke my 15th one</p>
<p>The gateway meat: How consuming my neighbor helped me to appreciate the deliciousness of human flesh</p>
<p>Innocent until proven guilty: I didn’t deserve the detention I got in 6th grade</p>