Would any-wonderful-fantastic-body be willing to read my lengthy essay?

Paying for College Scholarships
1

<p>I was thinking about entering this in a creative nonfiction essay competition but was worried that it wasn’t good enough. I would really truly appreciate any kind of feedback, I know its a little long, close to 3 pages, but I promise its not boring (well I mean, I didn’t think so, it could be)! If anyone could take the time to read it through and let me know what they think, I’d be like beyond grateful :stuck_out_tongue: Okay please and thank you!
<a href=“https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dah36uX6uv1l9jHBCD5rujMCbjvnQmrQBGfESQCDQQw/edit[/url]”>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dah36uX6uv1l9jHBCD5rujMCbjvnQmrQBGfESQCDQQw/edit&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

2

<p>anybody? :’( i really dont like having people i know read my work because im always afraid of being judged, its so much easier to have some anonymous person on the internet read it</p>

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<p>I think the moral of the story is nice…however i felt very exhausted how you used like freaking 7 intense vocab word in sentence…it makes you sound unnatural (not a good thing)…Im an AP reader and I know what a true students work is…and this is nothing like a students work…good luck
:)</p>

4

<p>Overall I really liked it. A couple sentences were a little bit awkward and on the last page there’s a typo - “homeland” is spelled “homrland”. But in general it’s really a very interesting story and you tell it well. Good job! And good luck with the contest too. :)</p>

<p>Oh and by the way, I have absolutely no idea what APPHS4 (who I am praying to god is not actually an AP reader because the poor spelling and grammar that permeates his/her posts is enough to make me weep over the murder of the English language) is talking about because this sounds exactly like a student wrote it. Like I said, a few sentences here and there were a little clunky (try reading it out loud and you might hear what I mean), but overall it flowed very well. I was surprised when I realized how long it actually was because the pacing was excellent. :)</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

5

<p>yay! thank you both for taking the time to read it, i went ahead and fixed thetypos and changed a little bit of the content <em>fingers crossed</em></p>