Would anybody like to grade my essay?

Test Preparation
1

<p>hey! This is my 2nd SAT essay i’ve written! Please be honest and do not hold back your thoughts! :)</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and the decisions of people in positions of authority?</p>

<p>Questioning authority can lead to a greater understanding of life. It is important to question authority to prevent unjust and abusive usage of power. </p>

<p>In the novel Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, Okonkwo is a great warrior revered and admired by the people of the Igbo society. Okonkwo takes care and raises his adopted son named Ikmefuna who, according to religious dogmas, must be killed. Throughout the novel, Ikmefuna and Okonkwo’s biological son Nwoye, share a natural and loving relationship. However, when Ikmefuna was sent to the evil forest to face his death, his brother Nwoye questioned Ikmefuna’s unfortunate fate. Nwoye spoke to his father about the morality and rationality of killing someone with no quality reason. Although the village leaders and Okonkwo killed Ikmefuna, Okonkwo felt guilty and questioned his character. Because of this, Okonkwo became more tolerant and open to people’s emotions and ideas. Questioning authority can help point out flaws within oneself which can lead to one’s moral awakening. </p>

<p>In Things Fall Apart, Nwoye approached problems within his community and its leaders. However, an even more daring character in George Orwell’s novel 1984, takes on the government to free its people from intellectual and individual oppression. This character, named Winston, questions the position of the government and its absurd policies. Winston joined a cult whose main purpose is to overtake the government. Because of this, the tables turn and the government is now more fearful of its people rather than the other way around. Since Winston questioned authority, he awakened the evil and malicious government leaders showing that the public has more power than its rulers. </p>

<p>Both novels 1984 and Things Fall Apart deal with the power of authority and how citizens must reject abusive and unfair policies. Hopefully, these books serve as an example to modern day people for standing up for one’s undeniable rights.</p>

2

<p>Nope! :)</p>

<p>9-10, you really need to get a better intro and conclusion</p>

3

<p>This is about 7-9 for me :/. You’re examples are very well developed; however, the only problem is that your organization is very bad to be honest. you need to seperate your two examples clearly in two different paragraphs. Also, your intro paragraph is just a restatement of the task. You need to provide some personal insight into it and really develop a more “deep” thesis. Also, you should use more examples besides ones from literature. I would say only use one example at the most from literature. For me, I got a 12 and subsequently a 2400 by using this template that i found online: </p>

<p>Intro:

  1. “The premise that <em>position on topic</em> is an unequivocal truth.”
  2. “Although some individuals uphold the idea that <em>opposite view</em> is true, these people are too parochial in their perspectives.”
  3. 2-3 sentences about overall topic and opinion.*
  4. “Through examples from history literature, and the contemporary world,
    one can see the truth behind this assertion.”</p>

<p>Body 1:

  1. “One paragon that exemplifies this topic is….”
  2. Details about the life example.
  3. “From this situation, one can truly understand how…” (thesis applies - 2-3 sentences detailing connection).
    Body 2:
  4. “Not only can this be witnessed in life, but historically, this perception is relevant as well.”
  5. Details about historical example.
  6. “Ultimately, because <em>sum up example</em>, one can truly come to realize how…” (thesis applies - 2-3 sentences detailing connection).</p>

<p>Body 3:

  1. “Moreover, this perspective can also be seen in literature as well.”
  2. Details about literature example.
  3. “Therefore, because <em>sum up example</em>, it becomes extremely lucid how…” (thesis applies - 2-3 sentences detailing connection).
    Conclusion:
  4. “In summation, through the examples of A, B and C, one can see the
    veracity in this claim, and how pervasive the values are that can be learned from it.” </p>

<p>PS. For all of the examples besides the literature example, I make up examples using two of my co-workers names. The SAT graders don’t grade you on factual accuracy, but rather on how well you can develop your thesis and support your viewpoint and your use of language throughout as well.</p>