Would anyone be willing to read my common app essay?

<p>I’ve had two english teachers read it, and I tried to improve on the things they suggested. I’m ready to submit it, but I’m still a little bit nervous and was hoping I could get another opinion. </p>

<p>My main questions are:</p>

<p>Is the intro paragraph too long/detailed/overwhelming?
Is my use of alliteration cheesy or overdone?
Does it answer the prompt?
Do I explain the significance of the bed well enough?</p>

<p>If anyone is interested, I will pm it to you.</p>

<p>I’m applying to Wellesley, Brown, Swarthmore, Smith, and Bryn Mawr, if that’s important. </p>

I will read yours if you read mine haha, private message me ASAP with it!