Would anyone be willing to read my common app essay?

College Essays
1

<p>I accidentally posted my question in the wrong area, so I’m reposting it.</p>

<p>I’ve had two english teachers read it, and I tried to improve on the things they suggested. I’m ready to submit it, but I’m still a little bit nervous and was hoping I could get another opinion.</p>

<p>My main questions are:</p>

<p>Is the intro paragraph too long/detailed/overwhelming?
Is my use of alliteration cheesy or overdone?
Does it answer the prompt?
Do I explain the significance of the bed well enough?</p>

<p>If anyone is interested, I will pm it to you.</p>

<p>I’m applying to Wellesley, Brown, Swarthmore, Smith, and Bryn Mawr, if that’s important.</p>

2

<p>Yeah i will be really interested to read it. I’m also applying liberal arts colleges but not as high ranged as yours. I am deferred by Vassar in ed and admitted to Colorado in ea.</p>

3

<p>Sure! Send it over. Would you be willing to return the favor?</p>