Would anyone care to critique my "why emory" essay?

<p>Thank you so much!</p>

<p>I will :)
Have critiqued several "Why X?" essays in the past.</p>

<p>if you dont send it to me id understand, since i dont have many posts, i usually just lurk here. but I did get accepted to Emory under conditional transfer and I definitely think it was more because of my essays than my scores/grades</p>

<p>I'll read it</p>