Would anyone like to critique my essay?

College Essays
1

<p>Anyone??? Your help would be greatly appreciated.</p>

2

<p>Bump!!!
I wrote an essay for uiuc which has a topic of “talk anything about yourself”</p>

3

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>I will take a look at your essay and give you some pointers. Send it over.</p>

<p>Kevin J
Admissions Advice Online (dot) com</p>

4

<p>I’ll take a look.</p>

<p>goldendragonbuffet1@gmail</p>

5

<p>I’ll take a look. PM me!</p>

6

<p>PM me! 10char</p>

7

<p>i can take a look too :)</p>