<p>I’m barefoot around house/office. When I go out currently I’m generally in these as my backyard is a construction zone. <a href=“Merrell jungle moc nubuck brown nubuck + FREE SHIPPING | Zappos.com”>Merrell jungle moc nubuck brown nubuck + FREE SHIPPING | Zappos.com;
<p>Ouch Sally, I dropped a 45 pound weight on my big toe years ago and I remember just how much that hurt. Feel better soon!.</p>
<p>" My goal was no one notice what I was wearing one way or another."</p>
<p>I must admit I don’t understand this attitude and I think most guests do pay attention to what the MOBs and MOGs wear! And even though they pay attention it doesn’t take away from the attention the bride or the bride’s dress gets. When I go to weddings or see wedding pics on FB, I always tell MOB/MOG how beautiful bride looks and how beautiful they look. </p>
<p>emily - I looked beautiful ; ) in a non-memorable dress.</p>
<p>A whole 'nother topic is dressing so you see the woman not the dress and how some dresses demand attention. Usually my clothes demand attention and I deliberately avoided that in the wedding photos.</p>
<p>Some of this is copying what we know. I remember shopping with my mother for her MOG dresses and how she deliberately chose muted and conservative styles and would have had one of those dresses altered to wear if a sister hadn’t already had the same idea.</p>
<p>I will concede right now there are different cultures with regard to MOG and MOB dresses and if yours is different it is right for you. And that there are no longer any wedding rules. : )</p>
<p>“emily - I looked beautiful ; ) in a non-memorable dress.”</p>
<p>I would have remembered it! 
</p>
<p>I am generally in agreement with alh on this question. I think that the “different cultures” comment is the most important one. If the OP finds herself in a situation where a different dress is truly expected/required, then she probably needs to find a new one. However, I think this is far from general.</p>
<p>My analysis would be different if the MOG dress for the first wedding had been a highly memorable one–say, peacock blue with multiple yellow ribbons. That sort of gown should be worn only once (if at all 
), in my opinion. Not intending to offend anyone who might like that dress idea!</p>
<p>The taupe lace sounds classic and dignified to me. And as a guest, even a family member, six years later I would be hard pressed to say whether I was seeing the same dress, even if I had been paying pretty close attention to the dress choice.</p>
<p>On the other hand, since PG brought up graduation outfits, I have to say that I wore a navy blue suit (ok so far) with a longish skirt, knee socks and flat, lace-up shoes to QMP’s graduation, since quite a bit of walking was involved. I didn’t notice anyone shunning me or shaking her head. But please bring out the smelling salts for PG!</p>
<p>Finally, sally305, I hope you are continuously on the mend! </p>
<p>“The taupe lace sounds classic and dignified to me.”</p>
<p>Really the essential and salient point here, in my opinion.</p>
<p>ETA:
" And as a guest, even a family member, six years later I would be hard pressed to say whether I was seeing the same dress, even if I had been paying pretty close attention to the dress choice."</p>
<p>Along with emily and bunsen and pg and some others, I am going to remember it. My response though, to remembering, is seemingly much different than theirs. And I truly don’t believe most people care as much about dress as the four of us and that is probably a good thing overall.</p>
<p>IF I have a spectacular peacock blue dress with multiple yellow ribbons, I’m going to be looking for every opportunity to wear it – just not to a wedding or funeral. </p>
<p>maybe to graduation ; )</p>
<p>I am only worried PG is going to be cold, but she has referenced cashmere wraps on other threads so I’m not too worried.</p>
<p>I too like the idea of something new and smashing for the rehearsal dinner.</p>
<p>alh - Actually someone else referenced cashmere wraps upthread, not I. I don’t own a single one (I know, deprived, tiny violins). I’m not worried about being cold – I’ll be outside in a stadium in June and it’s a knit dress – if anything, my concern is that I might get too hot. I don’t “get” Fluevogs - I suppose they fall under jolie laide – but more power to you if you have the confidence to carry them off!</p>
<p>QM - no smelling salts required. I find certain things important to me and how I want to live / be / present myself and they needn’t be important to others. You’re happy, I’m happy.</p>
<p>PG–with regard to your last comment, I have to admit that whenever I have been in the San Francisco airport just before the Gordon Conferences are starting (many in New Hampshire), it has been a bit depressing. The people flying to the Gordon Conferences are pathetically easy to spot in the crowd, based on attire. I also acknowledge that there is a definite affectation in the pose: “I have no time to think about clothing, because I am so busy with much more important things.”</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think that few of the women scientists I know are so clueless that they couldn’t pull together a set of really great outfits, if they tried hard . . .though in my case, I am following the lead of a distinguished woman scientist from Uppsala, and have the “completely dowdy” look nailed!</p>
<p>PG: please check the temps beforehand. I am really cold–natured and wear jackets, sweaters, wraps to June NE graduations. At the graduation I attended recently, the very end of May, women in sleeveless dresses all had a coat or jacket they took off late afternoon, briefly, while the sun was out. Some women were wearing their husband’s suit jackets. I don’t object to that look, but don’t imagine it is one you are going for. Of course, if you are really hot natured all the time… maybe not an issue at all. Chicago in June? My experience is limited and it can be hotter than ****, but sometimes chilly? I think it is never summer in the NE till mid july.
: )</p>
<p>fluevogs: I only have a few carefully chosen pairs. Most I consider too young for me at this stage of my life. I like the ones I linked to because of the french heels. I’m wearing Marie Antoinette’s heels just like the women in the late 1800s (sense of continuity entertains me) and who also found it a useful style. It is an easy heel to wear, so comfortable and no worries about damaging your friends’ precious floors. You might be interested in a blog post. google french heels and american duchess.</p>
<p>QM: I really like the “completely dowdy” look. No kidding. Those female academics who do it well intimidate the bejesus out of me. And that is saying a lot.</p>
<p>ETA: PG: apologies for misremembering, but weren’t we on another thread discussing what the best cashmere brand names were? Maybe I am remembering wrong, and of course that still doesn’t mean you have wraps or sweaters. Just my assumption.</p>
<p>Still thinking of completely dowdy clothes. If money were no object I’d be overseas someplace right now trying on Paul Harnden. That is my fantasy shopping trip.</p>
<p>I have only ever seen one piece in real life and it wasn’t a blend. I am under the impression most of the clothes aren’t blends. If they are - sighs of disillusionment.</p>
<p>QM - no worries. I don’t think that was me, but what the heck do I know.<br>
ALH - thanks for the blog post link - very interesting.</p>
<p>As far as I’m concerned the MOG does not and should not aspire to blend in with the curtains. Very often these days she is a co-host. Her dress can be as expensive and sophisticated as her budget and tastes allow. She should, however, be appropriate. No white, unless the bride explicitly agrees, nothing too loud, too tight or too low cut. It is also a good idea not to look to clash with the bridal party or the MOB, although there is no need to match. </p>
<p>Question about Fluevogs: are they comfortable? Don’t want to buy them–I’m just curious.</p>
<p>^yes, I don’t wear uncomfortable shoes at this point in my life. </p>
<p>I have a smallish slightly wide foot. Some styles are extremely comfortable for me. Some won’t work. Usually on the website is a guide that shows for any shoe what the suggested fit will be. In my experience, calling the site and getting personal fitting help is very easy. and very unusual in this day and age.</p>
<p>The shoes I linked to earlier are very comfortable. Recently I put them on at 6:30 am to attend an outside, standing around event and then got on a plane early evening for an overseas flight, and kept wearing them for a day of sightseeing. My feet never got sore. I could barely tell I was wearing shoes. I brought several pairs of shoes on this trip because cobblestones have been giving me a lot of trouble lately. The new danskos made me a bit nervous because I had a tendency to sort of fall off them and so I deaccessioned them along the way. The fluevogs, also with rubber sole, were much more stable. The best shoes were the cydwoq oxford with tire track soles. I absolutely agree with the poster who said changing shoes during the day usually helps.</p>
<p>^^ Dansko XP which are their more recent and higher priced line are MUCH more lightweight and flexible than the original and don’t tend to fall off and twist your ankle. They are identical in looks, so still no fashion statement. I don’t wear them as much these days, even with jeans and shorts there are many more casual options with arch support today than there used to be. Still, nothing else comes close for sheer comfort if you are going to be standing or walking all day, which is why so many nurses, flight attendants, teachers, etc. wear them. </p>
<p>Danskos have the great advantage of being much less expensive. One of my intimidating friends once made a withering remark about “women who collect $300 shoes” and I sort of see her point. On the other hand Linda Grant in “The Thoughtful Dresser” makes excellent arguments in favor of the frivolous, impossible to walk far, shoe. I love to see my DIL in those shoes and (like oldfort) take it for granted that we will be dropped at the restaurant door before the men park the car. </p>
<p>Oh wait! Sometimes one of the boys also has on fancy and frivolous footwear and also needs to be dropped off. The only constant is that my husband will be parking the car and wearing very functional and comfortable shoes.
: )</p>
<p>
That would be H. But he hasn’t been to a Gordon Conference in a number of years. We used to refer to the one he went to as chemistry camp. One year his group was actually asked not to return to their venue the following year. Not everything chemists do is entirely boring. ;)</p>
<p>Lol, Teri! I suspect it was the conference that typically was held right before the one Mr B used to frequent? Yes, chemists used to dress atrociously to these… Not too many women among them. And they lived in the dorms with random roomies and bathrooms down the hall. I do not think alh would appreciate their looks. It was not what she possibly has in mind. It was “holey dockers shorts forgotten in the dryer for too long paired with sandals/socks and a really ratty shirt”
kind of look. </p>
<p>DH hasn’t been to a NH Gordon Conference in a long time, though I think he still goes to the CA ones. His idea of being dressed up is wearing a shirt with buttons and not wearing shorts. Lately he’s been wearing shirts without collars so he feels justified in going collarless!</p>
<p>I only see the women in his lab at graduation parties - they all dress very nicely to those.</p>
<p>You know, to be smart is great, and to be smart and also polished / attractive is even better :-)</p>