Would it matter one way or the other mentioning "adopted" on the application?

<p>Any comments on discussing “being adopted” on the college application or in the essay? This would be for a student who was adopted into a “like” family, where this fact would not be obvious. </p>

<p>I have two nieces who were adopted, after being placed into their families within days of their birth. They look like each other and their adopted family, but they are not from the same birth mom. The oldest was born to a teen who apparently was in denial, and “didn’t know she was pregnant” for 7 months. She took OCP’s, pain pills for cramps, etc during the first 5-6 months, and smoked through out. Some alcohol as well. No prenatal care until delivery. The younger one was born to a teen having her second teen pregnancy in two years. No smoking, drugs or alcohol, but back to back pregnancies, with nutritional issues and low birth weight.</p>

<p>Both these girls were adopted into a family that gave them every opportunity. They were read to early, played musical intruments before kindergarten, etc. Early on, they were ususally way ahead of their peers at major milestones. Then, about age 12-13, they both started to struggle a bit. The oldest started to struggle more academically, and the youngest started to act out behaviorally. After evaluation, experts reminded the parents that the family was coming to grips with the fact that nurture/environment could not completely make up for nature/genetics/first nine months in the womb. They were told adopted kids often exceed their peers as children, but their genes and early “exposures” become obvious by their teen years. </p>

<p>The oldest is a junior, and will be working on college applications soon. She is the hardest worker. She is the type of student that teachers love to have in their class. She does not get the highest grade, but works the hardest, and puts everything into it. Give her a research paper or project and she’ll have the best one in the class. But she has test anxiety and does not test well, esp on standardized testing and ESPECIALLY on math testing. She took the SAT on a Sat, and the PSAT the following Wed at school. She worried about the SAT “counting” and blew off the PSAT as something that didn’t ultimately matter (she was not going to be NMF anyway…) She got a 490M/570CR on SAT, but a 61M/58CR on the PSAT. She has a 3.4 unweighted, taking honors and AP classes.</p>

<p>Would explaining, perhaps in the essay or elsewhere, that she has had to overcome a diffucult “beginning? be advisable” It seems there are compelling reasons that she may not be able to “live up to” the standards of her zip code, her gated community, her peers… she has two college grad parents with advanced degrees, but was born to birth parents without high school diplomas, whose grandparents did not have any college either.</p>

<p>I thought her test scores would not be an issue, as she and her folks were looking into LAC’s, the type listed in “A+ colleges for B students…” but niece now has her sights set on one of two “flagship” state U’s (instate), and with huge admission numbers, and less than holistic evaluation of applications…</p>

<p>She is going to psych herself out of improving her SAT scores, but they are hoping for at least of 500+ on the math retake. Can she expect this with a 61 on the PSAT? Or is the math on the PSAT different. She has dropped the SAT prep class, it was making the pressure worse. She will retake the SAT in June. She took the ACT in Jan or Feb–did worse that the SAT and will not be submitted those scores or retaking.</p>

<p>She has good EC’s. She was in pre-pro training for ballet for years, has good volunteer hours at the local hospital. She now has a part time job. </p>

<p>Suggestions? Comments? Experiences? This is the type of kid who will go far, but only if she can get beyond her test scores.</p>

<p>It does not sound to me that she has a story of difficulties overcome. In fact, she has had a lot of advantages. Now if she suffered from something like fetal alcohol syndrome or it was found that her mother was a crack addict, it would be different. Or if finding that she was adopted turned her world upside down as she entered adolescence. But test anxiety? Being a B student? I don’t think it will fly.</p>

<p>To mention the adoption in that context sounds to me like trying to make an excuse, for something that wouldn’t be too convincing anyway. If the problems is that due to prenatal factors or genetics, she just can’t perform all that well… well, that is no different than some kid with the misfortune to be born with a lower IQ. It’s not a hardship that she has overcome, and apparently not a diagnosed learning disability – but rather she would be claiming an inherent lack of ability due to birth circumstances. </p>

<p>Meanwhile, there are kids who were born to teenage moms who were not adopted, lived with their moms or foster families in very dire circumstances, and somehow against all odds have met the admission requirements of those top schools. Of course, kids like that are few and far between – but the admissions office at an elite school will have a few. </p>

<p>Your niece should try the ACT and take a prep course before retrying the SAT – and if she can’t get her scores up she should look go back to looking at the many excellent colleges on the “A+ Colleges for B Student” or Colleges that Change Lives list.</p>

<p>I’d like to add one more thing: there are many, many kids from affluent families who are the biological children of their parents, and whose moms were healthy and ate right during pregnancy, and have wonderful childhoods and then they hit puberty and things go south. I have seen it happen to some of the best and the brightest of the kids who attended elementary school with my own. At least 3 of a relatively small group of kids who were part of the GATE group in my son’s grade elementary school did not do well in high school, and did not go on to 4-year colleges. Good, highly involved, highly educated, nurturing parents. I know another kid, also from the GATE group, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in adolescence… obviously he had some rough times as well. </p>

<p>I understand the temptation to look for a “cause” for the difficulties encountered in adolescence – and with an adopted child it certainly is a temptation to blame it on the teen mom who smoked during pregnancy, the low birth rate, etc. But the fact is there is no real evidence of causation – at best it is just a guess. I’m just afraid that by “blaming” the birth parent, there is a little bit of of a tendency to start to give up, rather than to focus on working toward overcoming whatever barrier exists.</p>

<p>Or SAT optional colleges.</p>

<p>There are lots of colleges in the country who would be delighted to have your niece. I would have her concentrate on her strengths, of which it sounds like she has many, as opposed to explaining her weaknesses in some way that sounds like an excuse.</p>

<p>Adoption as an essay topic focused on"who she is", the path her life has taken, what makes her “her.” Possible good idea. Might be her best essay topic, might not.</p>

<p>Adoption as an explanation (apology, excuse) for why her scores are what they are. Bad idea. </p>

<p>She need to choose schools which match her interests as well as her stats. If the state flagships are a reach, that is fine. She should apply but not get her heart set. Then, let her wow them with her great essays, the wonderful recs from the teachers who love to have her in their class. Not try to convince them her scores were caused by the wrong birth parent.</p>

<p>She also needs to choose schools which match her academic abilities, including test taking (do the classes she would be taking grade performance mostly on tests or will she have chances to use her research abilities?) This is all part of finding the best fit for her. </p>

<p>In addition, she should find a few LACs that she also loves and will have a better chance to get into than the flagship (in the event she is not accepted to those). Students should always have safeties to fall back on.</p>

<p>Then, about age 12-13, they both started to struggle a bit. The oldest started to struggle more academically, and the youngest started to act out behaviorally</p>

<p>I realize this won’t be a newsflash for some of us
But I think it is called adolescence,which isn’t limited to kids who were adopted :eek:</p>

<p>Also- while learning disabilities are sometimes not diagnosed if mild until high school or even later, they can’t be blamed in all circumstances.</p>

<p>There are lots of schools which rely less on testing and more on other criteria, we are looking at some of those ourselves</p>

<p>Besides- even if being “adopted” was believable as an excuse for “difficulties” ( which I agree it is not), she wouldn’t want to be at a school which relied heavily on testing or similar criteria for entrance, as that skill set could be very important contributor to success at that college.</p>

<p>I honestly don’t see adoption as relevant in any way to college admissions in this case. IMO, the odds are that “adoption” would be a lousy essay topic. </p>

<p>Good college essays present something of interest about a living, breathing teenager – hopefully something that allows an admissions officer to picture a happy, well-adjusted contributor to the campus community.</p>

<p>I’m not a big fan of the “overcoming life’s adversity” essay to begin with. This one seems particularly tenuous. I’d rather see an essay about some small event from recent teenage years that shows some personality.</p>

<p>I would definitely not go down this path. It would sound like she is trying to make excuses for average SAT scores by going back 19 years. Now, it would be a different story if her prenatal situation caused a lifetime of severe health or psychological issues, but even then- she probably wouldn’t be even applying to college if her life had been so debilitated. But really- her scores are not even low. They are average. Just like all the other average people in this country.<br>
It would sound like she’s saying- “hey, I’d really be a freekin’ genius if it weren’t for my derelict birth mother. Now I’m just average. Geeeshh!”</p>