I recently started at a small four year private college that originally I fell in love with but now I don’t know if I love it so much. The college is somewhat close to home for me and has less than 2000 students. I find it pretty suffocating socially, most of the people at my school are from high income areas in cities and went to private schools, whereas I came from a pretty standard, but extremely small town and went to public schools. Socially the people here are pretty draining to deal with, likely due to differences in our lives up to this point. And while I like being able to interact with people of different backgrounds, the predominance of people like this is extremely high and I have found it difficult to find people from backgrounds similar to mine . So far I have made a few friends but I’m not super close with any of them in particular. I also don’t really have a friend group, so I mostly just float around the social scene here. The school also has a very dominant greek life and party culture both of which I not exorbitantly fond of, i have went to interests fairs for greek life and went to parties and it’s been somewhat fun, but drinking in these scenes at my school is very dominant and as someone who doesn’t drink I’ve found it difficult to find people who don’t as well nor have a big interest in the greek and party scenes here. I originally came to my current school to study biology on the pre-med track, but I have lost interest in it already, and my school does not offer options I’m interested in. I have an interest in sciences and health, but I can’t foresee myself thriving on the MD track. I have thought about maybe doing medical law because I’m interested in medicine, and I also love to write and argue, but my parents don’t seem super apprehensive about this route. My other options that interest me are studying either Environmental Health or even doing nursing ( I took a few pre-nursing classes at my HS offered by a local CC, and loved them, and even got certified as a CNA, but at the time thought I would want to pursue the Pre-med route more.) However, this is not the case anymore. It also doesn’t help that my current school does not offer degrees in the two fields I am interested in, but the flagship school for my state does. The said flagship ended up being my second choice overall and was my dream school for basically my entire life, but I turned it down out of fears that it would be too big, and my current school also offered me a better scholarship package. The scholarship package was a big draw; however, now realizing it would end up being cheaper in the long run since I would be able to move off campus as a sophomore at the other school, versus having to live in sub-par dorms for 3 out of my four years at my current school. Dorm life is not my favorite and is taking a toll on my health physically and mentally due to poor dorm conditions as well as having to share a small room. My current school also makes students buy meal plans all four years, and while that includes a free trade-out meal at a on-campus Chick-fil-A, to be honest, I’m sick of eating Chick-fil-A all the time, and the dining hall is very subpar and lacks much fresh food, especially for the price I have to pay for it. I don’t want to have to live in a dorm situation or eat dining hall food after this year, but if I stay, this would be reality. My parents really encouraged me to go to my current school; however, I am now not happy with it here and feel I would much more enjoy the other school. The cons of transferring, however, would be losing the small classes and the ease of forming connections with professors, and not having housing on campus with walks to class of 5 minutes or less. The pros would be that I would able to do one of the aforementioned majors I am interested in, I already have friends at this other schools and would be able to further connect with their friend groups easily, there would be better research opportunities but they would be more difficult to obtain, the social scene is more diverse, the campus and surroundings is much like my hometown area, with proximity to outdoor recreation which I love, the sports are big which I also love compared to my school, and I would not have to live in a dorm past freshman year and I could have somewhat my own living space (I have a friend which has a house close to the university which he has offered me a room at for an extremely reasonable price), which also means I could make my own food which has its downsides, but it would allow me to eat better. All this is extremely difficult, while I could be happy at where I’m at, I feel like I could be even happier and have a better balance at the other school. I ultimately feel like I should have chosen that school the first go around, but I didn’t. I wanted to branch out and explore a new place with new people, but now I want to be close again to friends and family that I have at the other university currently. I have talked to my parents a lot about this recently, and they’re not super open to me leaving but would support my decision if I decided to, since I am so unsatisfied with where I am at right now. This issue is obviously complex, but I would like some outside input as well. Thanks!
So sorry to hear. Take a deep breath. It’s early. Many struggle even through Thanksgiving or first semester but then have a great year.
But let’s look at what I perceived you to say - you’re likely at an elite or near elite LAC where most are full pay. Many take a high end, meets need school to mean diversity but often more than half the kids are full pay. So it can make it hard to keep up with the joneses. Often, not always, people gravitate to friend groups of similar genders, wealth status, race and religion.
Being somewhere that you are miserable isn’t a recipe for med or grad school. And the name of the school - W&L or Washington State - just as example names - is unlikely to matter whereas your gpa, test scores, and clinical opportunities will. While one may have advising or program advantages, they don’t help if your gpa is low and your interest is gone.
Public schools come in different sizes.
Let’s use Ohio as an example. You have massive Ohio State in the big city, large Ohio U and the mid/large Miami, both rural. But then you have Akron, Bowling Green, Kent, Youngstown State and more - various sizes, locations, maybe even costs.
So your state likely does too - and guess what, kids from all these go on to med school or to other health careers.
Additionally large schools have Honors Colleges to make some classes smaller. Or once you get into a major they could shrink. There are also living learning communities. You may not love your current dorm but you might if everyone was interested in healthcare and res life planned activities around it.
So a few things to think about - not including parental pressure if it’s there:
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What’s your budget ? Will a school offer merit if you transfer ?
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Might it be smarter to take a leave of absence or drop out -so you are applying again as a first year ? Check school by school -some may not consider you a first year having enrolled elsewhere. Basically, you need to hit budget.
In the meantime, talk to an RA and ask how to get involved. Or maybe make an appt at the counseling center.
Btw - large doesn’t mean no relations with profs. That’s up to you. Many go to large schools with large classes and end up at a profs house for dinner. You make the effort - you can have that.
I do think you need to look at budget - and maybe other schools that might be smaller. Many states have schools with competitive tuition for OOS students.
Hope that helps but step one, breathe, and talk to someone who may have ideas - the RA or counselor.
Hoping things improve or that you are able to create an affordable exit plan. You might lose this semester’s money but if you can start fresh elsewhere (you need to ask), that can save you in the long run.
A goal is the degree and a future that excites you - not a school name. Many, in my opinion, miss that.
Btw for your folks if they are name centric - I often show these. I was a patient at Vandy and looked at where did the residents go to college. Ok State, K State, Lipscomb, N Illinois, Murray State and more. Sure some go to big names but as many didn’t. So the name is of least importance - finding a place to excel is what matters.
You can look up residents and see where they went for undergrad at many top teaching hospitals.
Best of luck.
My opinion…do a couple of things.
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Keep reminding yourself why you chose this smaller college. Continue to do your best there, and try to get involved in some club or something that interests you.
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Send a transfer application to your public university. And maybe look at other options. But you seem to like the options available at that public university. So…apply to transfer starting at the start of your second year.
This way…both options are open to you (assuming you get accepted again) and you can make up your mind in the spring.
Two suggestions:
Try to write in paragraphs so that more will read your post;
Transfer ASAP !
This is hard and I definitely feel for you 
….you’ve done a good job of identifying the pros and cons of both the big state school and the small school.
A couple of thoughts:
- Would you even be able to do a 2nd year transfer to the state school?
- Are your parents able to afford the state school?
- Do you really feel that you’ve given yourself enough time to try to adjust before you think of leaving?
If you were my kid, my advice would be to give it just a little more time, and make changes that positively affect you.
For example - the food - does your dorm have a shared kitchen where you could prepare some more healthful foods for yourself like salads, bowls, etc?
You don’t mention a roommate but since you don’t is it safe to assume they are, for the most part, kind and respectful of the small space you share?
Can you visit home on some weekends to get a dose of family and friends?
Is there a club you can join to share a particular interest with people who have the same interest?
Could you get an on-campus job that helps you make friends and feel more rooted in the community?
Does your school have a career center where you can get some help figuring out what you might like to study/choose for a career, including access to alumni in a variety of fields you could connect with?
To me, it sounds like what you are feeling is a little bit of homesickness coupled with a little bit buyer’s remorse, and both are totally normal. I think that only time will give you the answer you need.
In the meantime, I wish you good luck with the discovery, and hugs to you!
Yes, the college I’m looking at takes transfers of any year, especially since I was accepted before.
Yes, it would actually be cheaper since I would be living off campus.
I’m split on this. Part of me says yes, and part says no. I have gone to many events, clubs, and interest meetings, but I have not made a good connection with anyone in the group, and there are not a ton that are super interesting to me either.
Sadly no 
Somewhat, I have had issues with cleanliness and the fact that they stay up very late on weeknights, but other than that not too bad.
I do, and I have. However, when I come back to my campus, I always feel like I have lost ground socially, and everyone has become closer. So I have been trying to stay as much as possible.
They do! I actually reached out to them recently but have not heard anything back yet.
You’re obviously smart and thoughtful.
You know that there’s no guarantee that anywhere else will make you feel happier or give you better opportunities.
If it makes you feel better, why not put in the transfer app for Fall 26, but stick it out for the rest of the academic year - in the end you’ll have the choice to stay or go, and it should be pretty clear to you what you should do.
When you’re not happy, the days can feel long, so you probably feel like you’ve been at your school for FOREVER! But it’s just been a short while, so things could fall into place socially. You are doing all the right things in terms of trying things and being active. Most people at smaller schools do in fact find their tribe, but it’s harder when you aren’t part of the dominant culture. Harder is particularly hard when being unhappy is taking all your energy.
My advice is to hang in there and treat this experience like it’s the beginning of 4 years. Keep looking for your right social outlets - consider volunteering or an on-campus job to see a group of people regularly, see who’s in the substance-free dorms and what they do when others are partying, talk to someone in the student health center (who may arrange groups for students who aren’t enthused about their experience – you aren’t alone!), etc. Keep showing up at things that interest you, whatever that is.
Take courses next semester that will allow you to delve into subjects you might enjoy. Engage and excel in the classroom (and connect with your profs!). That’ll serve you well no matter what you do. If you do want to transfer, it’ll be easier with a strong transcript.
Next semester, complete and submit your transfer applications. You won’t have acceptances or need to make a decision until late spring, at which point you may have much more clarity into what to do. The best outcome is that you are struggling with whether to stay or go.
If you really want to study something your school doesn’t offer, that can be a good reason to transfer. But this year, I would think less about majors and more about taking classes that interest you. That’s often a good way to get pointed in the right direction.
Hang in there - you’ve got this!
Your reasons for wanting to transfer make sense. Put in a transfer application now (either for spring semester if possible, or for fall semester if midyear transfers are not accepted.) In the meantime, study hard and do your very best to enjoy your current school; finish out the remaining time strong.
Best wishes to you!!
I think finding a friend group is crucial in getting you through college. If you have friends at the big school already I think it might be a good choice to transfer especially since that school offers you more options on what to study. Go ahead and put in the transfer app. It’s not committing you to anything except the cost of the application. Filling out the transfer application just gives you choices.
Go visit your friends at the big school for a weekend — maybe go to a football game or other event See what it’s like there for a weekend. Even better, if you have any Fall Break days when the big school still has classes consider visiting then and sitting in on a few classes and see what it’s like being in bigger classes
Continue to try to get involved at your current school too. You may finally click with someone there and might find a new interest for your major.
But definitely fill out the transfer app. Filling out the app is not a decision to transfer. It just gives you choices.
Hugs. I know this feels like a life sentence right now but it’s not. Take a deep breath.
Do you have a job? If not- get one! Working in college gives you an entirely different set of people to interact with… I worked both on-campus and off-campus jobs and they have pros and cons…. but the biggest pro is making connections with people that aren’t sitting next to you, in your dorm. or otherwise in your orbit. Will everyone become a BFF? Of course not. But “bridge friendships” are really valuable in their own way. Someone to meet for coffee- even if you don’t have much in common– someone who asks “do you like Noir films? I want to go see XYZ this weekend but nobody in my dorm will go with me”.
Second- try not to idealize the U you’re considering transferring to. Some things will be better for sure. And some things are likely to be worse- you just don’t know what they are yet. Freshman often overestimate how great it is to live off campus– but take it from me, having to remember when to buy milk, taking a rotting head of romaine from the fridge when you were planning on a salad for lunch, not to mention prep and clean up…. it’s not nirvana. And students ALWAYS underestimate the cost of food. You look at the tuna sandwich you eat in the dining hall and think ‘I could make this for 2 bucks” and then end up spending 10 bucks on takeout because after a month of making yourself a 2 dollar tuna sandwich for lunch every day you just can’t stand the smell of tuna. So understand the economic impact of ALL the costs you’ll incur off-campus.
Third- unless you have very off-beat and unusual interests (the only EC you want to participate in is Morris dancing around a maypole with other enthusiasts) it’s hard to imagine that you can’t find any like minded people. Hate the drinking scene? Stop going to parties. Can’t stand the frat mentality? Don’t participate. There’s no chess club, bridge tournament, swing dancing club, chamber music ensemble, poetry slam, ultimate frisbee, politics/debate club, “collect coats for the homeless” drive, reading intervention for fourth graders in the public schools, “Adopt-a-grandparent” club? Nothing? Can you approach the student activities office and get funding to start one if none of these exist? Most colleges are happy to hand over a few hundred dollars to print flyers, buy donuts, and give you an empty lounge so you can start your own activity.
For sure fill out the transfer application. But continue to figure out ways of improving your environment right now.
As far as your major/career goes- there is nothing wrong with exploring. If premed no longer excites you, you have LOTS of company. Can you meet with a poli sci professor to discuss Health Care policy? An applied math professor to talk about how researchers are applying statistical principals to understanding disease transmission and eradication? A sociology professor to ask about his most recent article on “Attitudes towards aging in place around the world”?
Health care is much bigger than just bio and organic chemistry!
Hugs. It will get better. And your backup plan to transfer will be there humming in the background….