Would love some opinions about my appeal letter

Parents Forum
1

<p>To Whom It May Concern,</p>

<p>I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from Prairie View A&M University. When I received the letter I must say that I was not surprised by the University decision to academically dismiss me. Although, I was not shocked by the dismissal I was very upset by the University decision. I would to request that Prairie View A&M University reinstate me for the spring semester of 2015
During the spring semester, I started the year on a rather difficult path which then affected my grades, as a result of these difficulties my grades suffered as a result. I do not mean to make excuses for my poor academic results, but I would like to explain the circumstances. When registering for my classes, I knew that it would be a personal challenge for me to complete 12 hours during the spring semester, but I needed the hours so that I could make sure that I am on the right track to graduate on time. I thought I could handle the work and I still believe I could have, except I was evicted from my apartment by XXXX in early October. When I was initially evicted, it took me about three months to find another place to call home in Houston. Also having none to limited access to a vehicle every day, as my schedule demanded to be in class, it became increasingly difficult for me to make the commute to the University from Houston every day. The days that I attended I school, I was distracted with my unstable living situation and the stress of not having a vehicle. Through this past semester, I now understand how important it is communicate with my professors, instead of just ignoring them and not asking questions or even withdrawing from the classes that I was sure I was not going to be able to attend every day as per my schedule. I should have taken better steps in the beginning of the year to make sure that my academic success would not be in jeopardy as it is now. As a student, I accept full responsibility for my failure as a student at the University.</p>

<p>If I am reinstated, I will focus much harder and study wiser with my schoolwork, if I need help with homework or school work, I will be sure to go to tutorials and meet me my academic success coach more often through the week. While I am in class, I will make sure that I stay focused in class instead of being distracted by my various situations. Be able to manage my time at school more efficiently while I am there on the campus. I do plan to take the same number of classes again as well, except this time I will be in control of how I transport myself to the University, and I plan to be sure that they are on set days such as Tuesdays and Thursday or on Monday and Wednesday instead of every day. While my house is closer, it is still an hour commute to the University, so I want to be sure that I have the time necessary so that I am able to study effectively. Through this schedule I will be able to manage my time at home efficiently as well, because that will give me the time I need to make sure that every class that I am taking, I will have enough to time devote my attention to them. During the school year, I will be sure that I speak with my assigned advisor more often as well as my advisor and be sure to keep in constant contact with him. In addition, to staying in contact with my advisor, I will be sure to stay in contact with professors as well. Be sure to ask them any questions I may have and any concerns that I have as well. If the University agrees to reinstate me for the fall semester, I know that I can prove I will be a good student at the University.</p>

<p>The reason why I would like to the University consider my reinstatement is because, I absolutely love being a student at University, and it would mean so much to me to graduate with a degree from a HBCU and A&M system college. With this degree, I would be the first person in my family to graduate from a HBCU College with a degree. offers a wide variety of culture and experience that I have been fortunate enough to experience as a young adult. Fortunately, I have recently have had the opportunity to purchase a vehicle and have found a stable place to live that is much closer to the University. This will ensure that my success at the University will be guaranteed because I have been able to become more stable throughout the year. I accept full responsibility for my scholar disappointment as a student and I want to be sure that does not happen again. I know that I can prove to the University that I can be great student because during the spring semester I passed my two major classes, which is Communication Studies with passing grades of a B. With a constant means of transportation, I will no longer have to worry about depending on another person for means of transport. Living closer to the University will also ensure that I am close and will be able to limit the time of my commute to school. </p>

<p>I hope the University can understand that my low GPA that led to dismissal does not indicate that I am a bad student. I really am a good student, who can put her best effort into it, I just had a very difficult semester this year. I hope the University gives me a second chance to prove that I can be a great student and addition to the HBCU campus. Thank you for taking the time to consider this appeal.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>xxxxx</p>

2

<p>This could be a five sentence letter presenting your change in circumstances and your plan to focus. instead- it’s poorly written and hard to wade through.</p>

<p>Try editing this down. Did you even proof read?</p>

<p>You may or may not have a case- but I think you need a short and effective letter of one paragraph and not a diatribe.</p>

3

<p>Blossom is mostly right. This letter will actually hurt you more than it will help you. I do not recommend one large paragraph, however. I do recommend several short paragraphs – 2-3 sentences each. You don’t want your readers to struggle. Here’s a basic outline.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Your request. Keep it simple.</p></li>
<li><p>Your eviction and lack of a car kept you from doing your best.</p></li>
<li><p>Now that you have a car and a stable place to live, you will do better.</p></li>
<li><p>Last words. Short and sweet.</p></li>
</ol>

4

<p>This letter is far too wordy. In addition, there are numerous grammatical errors and repetition of information…sometimes in the same sentence. There are also several run on sentences.</p>

<p>Make your letter concise. Put your action plan to improve your grades. Keep it simple and to the point. Make sure that the grammar and spelling are correct.</p>

5

<p>And nothing sinks faster than telling them, in the first lines, that you agree with the dismissal, and why. If you tell them repeatedly about your poor judgment, what makes them want to believe the new promises?</p>

6

<p>To (Dean of College or Academic Committee) , not “Whom it may concern”
I’m writing to appeal my recent dismissal from Prairie View A&M. I realize my academic performance didn’t meet benchmarks, however I experienced serious adversity during the time period in question and could not perform to my full potential.</p>

<p>I was evicted from XXXXX in (month/yr) and had no stable living arrangements for a period of 3 months. I was living more than an hour from campus, with limited access to transportation. My attendance and class participation suffered tremendously. I was too embarrassed and stressed to properly communicate my situation to my professors and academic advisers.</p>

<p>I am now in a permanent housing situation with my own transportation. I am willing to work hard to improve my grades, and will not let pride stop me from seeking help in the future.</p>

<p>I have always dreamed of being the first in my family to graduate from college, and I hope that you will give me another chance to realize this dream.</p>

<p>or some version like this, shorter than the original</p>

7

<p>I like the rewrite. I think that a good appeal letter should describe the situation that led to the dismissal (briefly, without rancor or recrimination), clarify that the situation has been resolved in some way, and talk about affirmative steps that you can use to improve. If you have any evidence that you have improved academically I would mention that too. But I would leave out any of the really hardcore groveling, the “I know I deserve to be punished” type stuff (save that for the bedroom if you’re into that). Remember that the person reading this probably gets a lot of them around this time so there’s a possibility that they might skim if they see a bunch of block paragraphs.</p>

<p>Some of the good ones that I have read before even used bulleted or numbered lists when they talk about their plan for the future. I don’t know if you need that but it might be worth a shot if you’re trying to improve readability.</p>

<p>Good luck, and I hope your appeal is approved!</p>

8

<p>Your original letter has grammatical errors and is much too long. It sounds like a sob story. Shorter is better, like the example provided by @Iwonderwhere‌.</p>

9

<p>Dmitri…that rewrite is written by a completely different poster than the OP.</p>