<p>So we went to Florence. My 19 year old was living there. Brought her 16-year-old sister. Allowed them to go clubbing by themselves (my wife and I hate such things.) Needless to say (in our case), they didn’t drink a thing. Wine at a restaurant was fine, but my younger one only wanted Italian sodas. </p>
<p>But alcoholism doesn’t run in my family. If it did, I’d be all over it, even “in moderation”.</p>
<p>We don’t drink anything except milk or water at dinner. If I brought out a bottle of wine (here or abroad) the family would be quite surprised. There’s a lot of talk here about kids drinking along with the family but most of the families that I know don’t drink alcohol during the meals anyway.</p>
<p>In a nutshell, drinking alcohol in moderation below the threshold for intoxication, not a problem. Raised both my kids that way.</p>
<p>Smoking pot, nope for 2 reasons. First and foremost, ingesting hot smoke (even through a bong) with all of the end products of combustion just ain’t healthy for your lungs and throat. Second, you can enjoy a drink or 2 without getting intoxicated; the whole purpose of smoking pot in any quantity is to get stoned and that’s just a stupid waste of time that screws up meaningful social interaction.</p>
<p>My values actually are not dependent on what is currently legal,but weighted more on what is emotionally&physically healthy behavior.</p>
<p>Also, what about Amsterdam? It is perfectly legal to smoke pot there. Let’s say you were on a family vacation in Amsterdam.</p>
<p>I would double check that if I was you
not enforced is not the same as legal.</p>
<p>I think if it is legal in the country you are visiting a small amount of alcohol comsumption is fine. A while back my S was studying at a lycee in France. The students at his school drank alcohol in cafes during their very long lunch breaks which was a surprise to me.</p>
<p>When I took him and a D on a trip through Europe that year I thought it was OK if they wanted some beer with a meal since they both were of legal age there. In particular, I remember a dinner in a Brussels restaurant where they and I talked on a really adult level, eased I thought at the time, by our mugs of beer. Not that we didn’t have those conversations at home but that was a special night. I don’t think they went to any of the brown cafes in Amsterdam but they did some clubbing after I went to sleep. I knew they were responsible kids and I trusted them.</p>
<p>The problem with pot is that it’s completely illegal in this country, and if you get caught with it – regardless of your age – you’re in deep doodoo. If/when it becomes legal or “not enforced,” I’d hope my children indulge occasionally and in moderation. But I have every expectation that they will indulge.</p>
<p>Smoking plain old cigarettes is legal for my kids here in the US, but I didn’t allow them to do that, either. So no to pot. Legal does not equal smart or expedient or desirable.</p>
<p>When S1 went to Rome with his HS latin class, the teacher sent a note explaining that alcohol was legal and that some kids might choose to drink, and parents were asked to discuss the issue with their kids as the teacher would not be policing. S1 was then taking a medication for a chronic condition, and we had to remind him that the med did not mix with alcohol. He came home a bit frustrated that he was one of the few who couldn’t sample the wine or whatever. </p>
<p>My D went to high school in Germany. She shocked her 9th grade “Englisch” class, when the teacher taught the kids about drinking laws in America, and asked her point blank if she’d ever had a drink, and she said no. The school (grades 5-13) had a beer garden on the roof during special occasions (like Open House.) </p>
<p>We do not as a rule drink, and the only alcohol we have in the house is a couple bottles of wine people gave us as hostess gifts. However, in Germany, there were times we couldn’t refuse it without being rude. Those situations happened to my D as well. </p>
<p>In Atlanta, schools often take field trips to “World of Coke.” In Germany, my D’s class went to a brewery … They ate lunch there, and most of the kids sampled the wares.</p>
<p>When one of her teachers moved away, she took her class out for a night on the town. D made her one drink last the evening. I don’t think she sees anything especially mystical or enticing (or tasty) about alcohol, and generally prefers Coke (Atlanta girl at heart). </p>
<p>In Germany, drinking and driving is a huge no-no, and is socially scorned. People can generally walk everywhere, and tend to do their drinking close to home. Beer is considered “bread” to Germans, not “spirits.” Hard alcohol does have a drinking age - I think it’s 16?</p>
<p>As I understand it, the most common form of marijuana sold in Amsterdam is sold as mixture of pot and tobacco.</p>
<p>Nicotine is violently addictive, even more so to teenagers, according all research. In fact, there is research that shows teenager can become addicted to nicotine from smoking tobacco just once or twice. </p>
<p>Nicotine addcition is, of course, the most devastating addiction known to man, killing more people every year than every other addiction combined, killing one out of every two users. </p>
<p>IMO, parents need to do everything in their power to prevent their teenage children from smoking tobacco or otherwise using nicotine and becoming nicotine junkies.</p>
<p>“Second, you can enjoy a drink or 2 without getting intoxicated; the whole purpose of smoking pot in any quantity is to get stoned”</p>
<p>That’s a crucial distinction to me. The alcohol that I would share with teenagers, in the U.S. or abroad, would be beer or wine with a meal, which are relatively low in alcohol and (in my view) part of a culinary experience. I would never allow a teenager in my care to have, say, a Jello shot, whether it’s legal or not, because Jello shots only exist to make you drunk.</p>
<p>There’s a gray area in Scandinavia and Russia, where aquavit/vodka is so important to the food culture. I think I’d allow a sip, but that’s it.</p>
<p>If I were visiting a culture where some mild legal drug was genuinely a part of the social culture, not taken to intoxicate, I’d probably be OK with that, too (I’m thinking about betel and coca).</p>
<p>We lived for a while in a country with a lower drinking age and many parents had that European attitude of serving kids at home. It was difficult to become accustomed to at first and all these types of issues arose. We muddled our way through, but the most interesting thing was my kids disdain for the American kids at US universities who drink to get drunk. My kids seemed to have a much healthier & safer attitude about it all. Not that they have not participated in a pub crawl and gotten to the point of very silly, but that they had been exposed to many adults & kids drinking as a matter of fact part of life and there was no big drive to get “smashed”</p>
<p>They all commented on the more provincial US attitude and how so many kids seemed to act so far out of line in reaction. Both DDs talked about their freshman dorm mates coming back from parties in the fall and barfing all over the dorm bathrooms and generally being out of control just for the sake of being out of control</p>
<p>I think there’s another important distinction between alcohol and pot: you may be asked in the future on some employment or clearance form if you have ever used marijuana.</p>
<p>Pot also takes longer for your body to process- if you are a frequent user it may be months after you stop, where it falls to undetectable levels.
[Go</a> Ask Alice!: Marijuana: How long does it hang out in the body?](<a href=“http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1034.html]Go”>Search)</p>
<p>Contrary to what many people think, I do not think people’s attitudes in Europe are necessarily very healthy when it comes to alcohol. Many European countries have very high rates of alcoholism–almost all have higher rates than the U.S. I know many Americans feel a sense of culture shock when they visit, say, Britain, because the drinking culture is so intense. It’s not just that people drink, it’s that many people talk about it all the time, to the point where it gets extremely boring, and brag about how much they throw up, etc. Not just teenagers, but grown-ups in their 40s and 50s. Ugh! I rarely see that here in the U.S.</p>
<p>I think if you make it illegal, it will be more appealing. If you make it illegal, it’s more likely to become a gateway. My mom hasn’t drank in twenty years (no lie!). Her motto was always moderation. When it came to drugs, my mom was “if you HAVE to do drugs, smoke pot”. Then again, I had a pretty lax mom. None of this “under NO circumstances would I ever even CONSIDER breaking the LAW!” stuff I see on here and other websites I frequent.</p>
<p>My parents seem to change their minds about it. When I was 14 in Europe, wine was okay. But when I was 15 in the Caribbean, it wasn’t. And then when I was 16 (hanging out with my sister’s freshmen-in-college friends at a formal dinner party) on New Years at home, champagne was okay. But I think they wouldn’t be okay with pot no matter where I was. When we were in Amsterdam, we went to go look at a smoking shop, but it never crossed my nor my sister’s mind to ask for some.
They’ve always let me taste their drinks. When i was little I might get to dip my finger in a glass of wine or something. My mother gets terrible headaches from alcohol and my father only drinks wine. But I always thought it was gross and still do. Except dessert wine, but that’s because it tastes like honey.</p>
<p>When my kids were maybe 11 or 12, the topic of alcohol came up. On a whim, DH and I took the alcohol we had in our house, poured it into cups, and had them taste it. (Straight.) Of course, they thought it was disgusting and gross and spit it all out. I think it made quite an impression on them. </p>
<p>With the athletic caveat aside, yes, I’d let them have a little wine in a country that permitted it, but not pot.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Not really.</p>
<p>There are differing levels of effects and thresholds. </p>
<p>THC isn’t the only active ingredient of pot – you should look into the other cannabinoids and terpenoids that are accessory to it.</p>
<p>Remember alcohol has a dual effect too – at low levels it is excitatory and at higher levels it is neurodepressive.</p>
<p>(This is from a purely biochemical POV – I’ve never smoked pot but the neurochemistry is very interesting.)</p>
<p>Here is another question- Would you let your over 18 child take a job at a medical marijuana dispensary? My son and I were looking at the help wanted ads yesterday and came across a listing for a receptionist for a dispensary.</p>
<p>Are you worried about how it will look on his resume?</p>
<p>I suppose it depends on what profession he’s going into. Medicine-related fields and biotech might be curious about such an applicant, but i-banking firms taking internships might be more ignorant about science (or sometimes, they are politically conservative and anti-science) and not look at it as sympathetically.</p>
<p>galoisien- I am asking in general. He had no desire to apply for the job.
But I would be concerned about future employment.</p>