<p>That is truly awful! It’s not something you can fix “after-the-fact” either. To me, sending out a new batch of invitations would just draw attention to the slight (which to me sounds like the D’s fault). I can’t imagine how hurt the mom must feel. I’m kinda relieved I have boys.</p>
<p>If I was the real mother of the bride and received that invitation, I would grit my teeth and smile and then attend as a guest and not contribute a dime to the wedding costs. If the father and stepmother want the glory of hosting the event, surely they also want to pay for it.</p>
<p>Consolation, I’d let them (kid, wedding planner, ex-h) that I will host the brunch or whatever. I’d get my own invitations out ASAP (even if went to Kinko’s and had them copy my invitation on fancy paper). No other $$$ would I’d give. This is a direct slap.</p>
<p>In regard to the OP, do what you want. Send gift regardless, go if you want to wedding.</p>
<p>Update on the invitation imbroglio: corrected invitations were printed and mailed. The culprit remains officially unidentified, but suspicion is aimed at ex’s new wife, who has some history of tacky behavior in family “life passage” situations. Perhaps the wedding planner regards taking blame for such things in order to avoid civil war as part of the job?</p>
<p>Bravo to the wedding planner for taking the blame - whether it was hers or not. Hopefully, the mom can move on from this episode and do her best to block out the “noise” and make an effort to focus on this special time for her daughter - not focus on the tacky behavior (whoever the behavior belongs to.)</p>