<p>“As long as we are respectful of people who don’t subscribe to these prevailing cultural norms, or who are in a position where those norms might indeed prove inapplicable if not damaging - i.e, by giving students the opportunity to live with someone of the opposite sex if they choose, or by not throwing a conniption fit if someone of ambiguous gender presentation uses a particular bathroom – I don’t see the problem.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have a conniption fit if someone of ambiguous gender presentation used a particular bathroom, nor do I have a problem if a campus decides to offer “opt-in” gender-neutral housing. <em>I</em> wouldn’t want my kids sharing a single dorm room with an opposite-sex person, but they can go share an apartment with an opposite-sex platonic friend for all I care.</p>
I can’t imagine that colleges would at any time begin randomly assigning the freshmen to rooms without regard for any factors, as they don’t do that now. In my experience thus far, there is some type of questionnaire provided to at least try to get compatible students together. As someone suggested that could be expanded to include “are you willing to live with a person of the opposite sex?” (A potential issue might arise in the case of a transgender student.)</p>
<p>I take the OP’s question to be “If your child is willing, would you be against your child rooming with the opposite gender?” Otherwise we are talking about being willing to force them to do so. Who would be in favor of that?</p>
<p>“Mostly, we’re talking about upperclassmen here, and they want to be able to do on-campus what they have long done off-campus, which is to share an apartment/suite/group of rooms in any way they like. This often involves both men and women living in the same apartment or suite. It rarely involves sharing of bedrooms by a man and a woman who are not romantic partners.”</p>
<p>At my son’s schools all dorm rooms (except rooms specifically designated for freshman) even if they are only a double - are gender neutral. Rooming with the opposite sex is not specifically for those in campus apartments/suites. </p>
<p>Only freshman are randomly assigned a roommate at most colleges and, as I said before, I cannot imagine any college.university randomly assigning a Freshman, or an upperclassman for that matter, a roommate of the opposite sex. </p>
<p>I note that none of the twenty something’s who undress in front of platonic male friends have said that they do so in front of their fathers or their fathers’ friends. And none of us mothers have said that we undress in front of our sons or our friends’ husbands or brothers or fathers. </p>
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I’m another who does not give a hoot about changing in front of anyone. I’ve changed in front of my male friends more than once. When I played on a coed basketball team, I had no problem changing in front of the guys.</p>
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<p>Well, you’re a good-looking young lady…I imagine that some of those (hetero) guys were “affected” by seeing you change your clothes in front of them.</p>
<p>I find that hard to believe as well if it was one woman/one man. I could see 2 women/2 men sharing and everyone being modest. </p>
<p>Last year I was shocked when someone rented one of my vaca rentals for a 2 week long business trip. These were 4 CPA’s from a top CPA firm in NY. The boys were going to share one room and the girls were going to share the other. </p>
<p>Before they arrived, they called and said that only the girls could stay. Their company insisted the the 2 boys had to stay elsewhere. lol…and these were NYers! </p>
<p>I don’t really understand that comparison at all. Yes, I would get changed in front of a platonic male friend. No, I would not get changed in front of a male friend’s father or father’s friends, but I also wouldn’t undress in front of a male friend’s mother or mother’s friends. For me at least, it’s not a gender thing. I know my friends and feel comfortable around them, but I don’t know EITHER of their parents, male or female, well enough to feel comfortable doing that</p>
<p>What if it’s your friend’s father, whom you’ve known since childhood? Are you changing in front of him, or not? How about your own father, or your uncle? </p>
<p>m2ck, that was my quote. You can believe it or not, truly I do not care. My dad used to go on business trips when he worked with a small photography company where it would just be him and the photographer (female). Both happily married. I know my mom traveled with males but I don’t know their sleeping arrangements. I don’t care.</p>
<p>My parents have been happily married for almost 25 years. It works for them. I never claimed it would work for others. I don’t really care what works or doesn’t work for others. </p>
<p>Would I change in front of relatives? Sure. They’d likely turn away though. </p>
<p>Actually, my dad’s best friend helped me change bandages last summer after my surgery. I’ve known him since childhood and because of where the bandages were, he had to see me from the waste up completely nude. Does it make a difference that he’s a trained medical professional? Personally, I don’t think so because breasts are breasts no matter what context you’re seeing them in. You can choose to sexualize them or not- that’s your business. </p>
<p>I don’t have qualms about my body- I never have. Probably comes from being poked and prodded so much when I was young by doctors. Or, it’s just because I was raised in a less taboo household than most. </p>
<p>It’s not necessarily “natural” to be ashamed of our bodies or to be modest about them. Cultures throughout history have chosen different every conceivable body part to keep hidden for “modesty” and which to expose. In our culture, it’s sexual organs. That’s not true everywhere, even today. </p>
<p>I’m not asking anyone to take my stance. I’m not asking anyone to change in front of me. I’m just saying that not everyone finds the same things uncomfortable. It really wasn’t worth dissecting. </p>
<p>Different things work for different people. Live and let live. Don’t worry, I’m not going to prance around in front you naked. </p>
<p>"Actually, my dad’s best friend helped me change bandages last summer after my surgery. I’ve known him since childhood and because of where the bandages were, he had to see me from the waste up completely nude. Does it make a difference that he’s a trained medical professional? Personally, I don’t think so because breasts are breasts no matter what context you’re seeing them in. "</p>
<p>Yes, actually I think it does. My FIL was an ob gyn. When I delivered and he came to see me in my hospital bed, I had a question about my incision and he took a look. Because he had his professional /medical hat on at the moment. It was a different context.</p>
<p>My H is also an ob-gyn. I have some girlfriends who are comfortable seeing him / being delivered by him, and others who aren’t, and that’s all good -whatever. But even the ones whom he has delivered - a medical context and a social context are two different things. </p>
<p>And I assure you that he can distinguish between the breasts he sees in a medical context, and those he sees in another context. </p>
<p>That doesn’t mean that they shared a bedroom.</p>
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<p>That is a different situation and really has NOTHING to do with him being a med prof or not. When my dad was dying, I had to help him toilet. When I pulled a muscle in my back and literally could NOT move, and my H was in another part of the state, my son had to help me get dress and get to the potty. When helping someone in desperate need, how they are dressed/undressed becomes very irrelevant…and completely non-sexual.</p>
<p>No, I would not want my child or myself sharing a bedroom with a member of the opposite sex/gender. The only exception is a spouse. I can think of too many potentially embarrassing bodily functions related to the different genders to be forced to experience. Think wet dreams and periods and other things beyond one’s control. There also needs to be private space for being undressed- a reason to kick out a roommate’s boy/girlfriend out of the room as well. The same goes for sharing the same bathroom at the same time. It is difficult enough to share space with a stranger of the same sex without adding in unknowns and hormonal responses. Little kids and senile elderly won’t notice/be concerned with the same things the rest of us do/are.</p>
<p>Sharing an apartment with separate male/female bedrooms and private bathroom time is like being at home with parents and brothers/sisters. I would not expect communal bathing or room sharing with opposite genders in a home either. Too many hormones leading to too many arousals… btw- physician here and we learn to be dissociated from our feelings when treating patients so hormones don’t rule. But- always wanted to maintain personal privacy.</p>
<p>This thread borders on the bizarre. OP what universities are you referring to that allow opposite sex roommates in a traditional dorm room? I know most permit it in apartments, but I am not familiar with those schools where you can live in an on campus dorm room with a member of the opposite sex.</p>
Let’s change a few words:
“Well, you’re a good-looking young man…I imagine that some of those (homosexual) guys were “affected” by seeing you change your clothes in front of them.”</p>
<p>Dozens of schools allow opposite sex roommates in traditional dorm rooms. </p>
<p>Here is a list of some schools with gender neutral housing:</p>
<p>Bard College
Barnard College
Bates College
Beloit College
Brown University
Bryn Mawr College
Carleton College
Carnegie- Mellon University
College of Wooster
Connecticut College
Dartmouth College
Dickinson College
Grinnell College
Guilford College
Hamilton College
Harvard University
Lawrence College
Lewis and Clark College
Macalester College
Middlebury College
New York University
Oberlin College
Ohio University
Princeton University
Reed College
Sarah Lawrence College
Skidmore College
Stanford University
University of Pennsylvania
Vassar College
Wesleyan University
Washington University in St. Louis
Whitman College
Williams College</p>