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<p>If you include “split doubles” in the traditional dorm room definition, Oberlin College has been allowing opposite gendered roommates on a student opt-in basis since the late '60s. </p>
<p>There was a national magazine article which scandalized many American parents of the era when it came out. </p>
<p>@cobrat Did you look at the links I listed? I believe it gives a short list in so,e of those articles. the only one I remember off the top of my head (correct if I’m wrong) is U Chicago </p>
<p>You can add to emilybee’s list:
Hampshire, George Washington (pilot program this year), Yale, Colorado College, Brandeis, U. Mich, Clark, Tufts, U. Maryland, UConn, Pitzer, UC Berkeley, CIT, BU, Northeastern, Harvey Mudd, USM, Ithaca. In many cases gender neutral housing is only available to upperclassmen. </p>
<p>Where is this list from? Barnard College is a women’s school. Unless they mean Barnard women can room with Columbia men or a referring to a small number of Barnard students who may not identify with the standard gender dichotomy, I don’t see how Barnard could have gender neutral housing.</p>
<p>Gender neutral housing at Barnard is a response to issues with transgender students:
See: <a href=“Care2 is the world's largest social network for good, a community of over 40 million people standing together, starting petitions and sharing stories that inspire action.”>Care2 is the world's largest social network for good, a community of over 40 million people standing together, starting petitions and sharing stories that inspire action.;
<p>One has to be female to be admitted to Barnard, but one doesn’t have to remain female in order to continue as a student once admitted. But it’s rather difficult to be attending a school that offers housing for females only if one is in the process of transitioning to male. </p>
<p>See: <a href=“http://bcrw.barnard.edu/blog/dean-spade-on-trans-women-at-womens-colleges/”>http://bcrw.barnard.edu/blog/dean-spade-on-trans-women-at-womens-colleges/</a></p>
<p><a href=“http://columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/07/barnard-looks-address-transgender-gender-non-conforming-students”>http://columbiaspectator.com/2011/04/07/barnard-looks-address-transgender-gender-non-conforming-students</a></p>
<p>Hmmm. Beginning with a female room and ending with a male roommate seems like it’d be an interesting chain of events. especially if the other roomie was uncomfortable rooming with males. I assume however that the stance would change. After all this isn’t a stranger and the person was in a female body before so they understand all the “bodily functions” and “hormonal responses” that @wis75 was talking about. </p>
<p>that situation only applies while living in an apartment, because I think the amount of time it takes to fully transition is longer than the university school year and therefore wouldn’t apply well to dorm situations. </p>
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<p>I’m pretty sure that one doesn’t have to be female to be admitted to Barnard (unless they’re doing chromosomal testing I don’t know about), and that everyone who is admitted retains their sex, not only through college, but until the day they die. It can be difficult to change gender. It is impossible to change sex.</p>
<p>I do find Barnard’s policies for trans men interesting. I had assumed, perhaps naively, that trans women and most individuals outside the standard gender dichotomy could attend, but was unsure about trans men.</p>
<p>A HS stand partner of mine actually ran into a great deal of problems with dorming at his school during his transition. The case attracted some media attention when he was denied a place in a men’s dorm, but I don’t know how everything turned out.</p>
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<p>If it weren’t for the embarrassment of the person affected, I think it would be beneficial for young people, especially those who grew up without opposite-gendered siblings, to learn about some of these issues and how the opposite sex handles them. A young man whose female roommate is casual and matter-of-fact about her periods will be a much more understanding boyfriend later on. (Or am I hopelessly behind the times and kids are being all open about this stuff in high school these days?)</p>
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<p>Okay, I’ll step up. I’ve worked in nonprofit organizations all my life, where not only is the attitude casual but the budget is tight, and when I was 29 years old I went on a business trip with a male colleague and we shared a motel room because it was cheaper. Yeah, we both changed in the bathroom. (And I was pregnant with my oldest child at the time!)</p>
<p>A few months later I went to an environmental law conference with about half a dozen people, and we all stayed at the home of that same guy’s parents. I was really very pregnant by that time, so I got a bed. Most of the others, male and female, slept on the floor.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think that you cross the line between young person and adult when you no longer feel comfortable with things like crashing on your friends’ parents’ floor. </p>
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<p>I made my post to point out how Oberlin was one of the pioneers in introducing gender neutral dorming options well before most of the colleges you listed. They’ve had it for around a bit more than 4 decades and the college still proudly has an archive of the magazine cover from the issue which wrote about its introduction back then. </p>
<p>I know for a fact some of the colleges you listed still didn’t offer that option when I started college in the mid-'90s.</p>
<p>Especially considering even some HS classmates who attended those colleges kept making a big deal about the fact my college already had gender neutral dorming options as if it was scandalous or beyond the pale. And let’s not get their/most parents of that period or even nowadays started on those negative perceptions of this dorming option. Some of that’s illustrated on this very thread. </p>
<p>Personally, if a student wants to opt-in to have an opposite gendered roommate, it’s his/her life to live as he/she wishes. </p>
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<p>^^ That is still rather unusual. And there are some spouses that would not like that, which is one reason why most companies would not even attempt to force that. </p>
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<p>That is different. That sort of thing happens. A group of folks is different than a “one on one” situation…especially if staying in a home. but even if 6 folks got stuck in one hotel room, it would be different than one on one. </p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll step up. I’ve worked in nonprofit organizations all my life, where not only is the attitude casual but the budget is tight, and when I was 29 years old I went on a business trip with a male colleague and we shared a motel room because it was cheaper. Yeah, we both changed in the bathroom. (And I was pregnant with my oldest child at the time!)”</p>
<p>Yes, you HAD to, and so you dealt with it. Could we please stop conflating “no room at the inn” situations with what is usual and customary? </p>
<p>Add me to the list of an open-minded person who still sees lots of potential problems with the gender neutral dorm room. Males and females sharing housing in different rooms, fine., But sharing one dorm room (not a dorm room with separate bedrooms and a shared living room)… lots of potential challenges.</p>
<p>^
I agree. But can you list some of the potential challenges that you believe could happen.</p>
<p>@jym626 </p>
<p>I want to add…some of these examples are like “one night only” deals which are different from long term situations. When dealing with a one-night-only situation, everyone can easily take precautions to respect privacy, etc, but long term situations become more dicey.</p>
<p>When my younger son went to a med school interview, he camped on a futon in the dorm of one of his oldest female friends. We thought nothing of it. They have been pals since the 3rd grade. I don’t think it would be great if they shared a room for a school-year. </p>
<p>I guess my thoughts are pretty basic. I see nothing wrong with crashing on a friend’s couch, or even sharing a house. But in a small dorm room, there is just the risk of an issue with personal space, privacy, you name it. Its hard enough walking in on a same sex roommate doing something they’d prefer to do in private. IMO that would be more awkward in other circumstances. And if feelings happened to develop that were unrequited, that could be uncomfortable, especially if one or the other is bringing a bf/gf into the room.</p>
<p>A female might feel uncomfortable sitting around in jammies or undies, especially if the roommate is bringing friends in. Of course that could happen with either sex, but it might potentially be a higher frequency occurrence of guys bringing guy friends to the room and vice versa. </p>
<p>My S’s liked to play video games, etc with their friends in their room. Not thinking that would be a highly desired activity for some females (sorry if that sounds stereotypic), but you get my drift.</p>
<p>And while guys and girls can certainly be equally messy, its harder for me to believe that a female roommate would be comfortable with the piles of dirty, smelly gym clothes and socks that tend to accrue in rooms. Anyone remember the old “urban moundbuilders” thread? That comes to mind.</p>
<p>Just to name a few…</p>
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<p>well, I haven’t polled a bunch of gay men this question, but I have talked about this with one gay male. He said that because all thru life he has been exposed to boys/men changing/peeing around him, it doesn’t affect him like he thinks a hetero man would be affected by occasional women changing around them. He said that he just puts it out of his mind (kind of like a medical person), doesn’t gawk, etc. Naturally, he doesn’t want to be stimulated 24/7 when in men’s bathrooms, gym changing rooms, etc. I guess when it’s been a part of your life forever…</p>
<p>@jym626
I agree with all of your points. I hadn’t thought about the chance of unrequited love occurring, but that is a real possibility…and that would be awkward and even painful.</p>
<p>I am reminded of my former neighbor who took frequent business trips with another man (both were married, similar ages, both attractive)…staying in sep hotel rooms. She considered themselves to be “pals”. However, the frequency of the trips, the closeness that occurred (eating together, long chats, etc) ended up causing the male to “fall” for her. Ugh. Awkward! She had to firmly tell him that nothing was going to come of his affection for her…</p>
<p>If a student is uncomfortable with an opposite sex roommate they don’t have to choose that option. At all the schools with gender neutral housing it is an opt-in program. </p>
<p>I am also pretty sure any female is aware of the messiness/smell of guys rooms since most likely they would have been in the chosen roommates dorm room before making the decision to room together. </p>
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<p>Well, obviously it’s unusual! It undoubtedly would not happen in a more buttoned-down work environment, and also probably not with work colleagues who were past their 20’s. But since after all we’re talking about college kids here, who are both in a more casual environment than most workplaces and who are also young, I thought it was a relevant data point.</p>
<p>I agree with the various people who have said that it’s a totally different ball game if we’re talking about people who are already friends and know they can stand living with each other, than if we’re talking about strangers getting paired up as freshmen. (Actually, now that I think about it, it’s really kind of weird that anybody thinks randomly pairing up same-sex roommates is a good idea either. How many threads do we have here where people are having problems with their roommate? Maybe putting freshmen in double or triple rooms is something colleges should re-think . . . )</p>
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My point wasn’t on whether it might happen, but on what difference would it make? If romani changing clothes causes men to react, what difference is that to her? We had a big thread on Michael Sam and potential issues in the team locker room and the main consensus seemed to be “so what?, if he looks at you and finds you appealing, is that really a problem for YOU?” And thoughts from gay guy on how hetero men are affected by occasional changing women are not exactly coming from an expert on the subject, eh?</p>