<p>If your <21 son or daughter partook in underage drinking? Not drinking on the regular, but moreso taking a cup at “get togethers”. </p>
<p>When I say “shocked”, I mean honest to God shocked. You never thought your son or daughter would do such a thing, succumb to such pressure, or be “stupid” enough to do it. </p>
<p>I’ve been musing over this for awhile. Prom is coming up, party whereabouts are floating through the halls, and, of course, people are planning out who’s going to be the designated driver. </p>
<p>So…would you be shocked? How would you feel if you found out your child was drinking? Would you feel a bit better if it was your 20 year old telling you they had a drink verses your 17 year old?</p>
<p>No, because I know you should “never say never.” Even good, smart kids will make poor decisions during adolescence. If it’s not drinking, it WILL be something else. I just cross my fingers and pray that mine don’t come to any harm, that the lessons they learn in life will be those without too heavy a price.</p>
<p>yes shocked that an adult who can go to war, get the death penalty, sign contracts, vote, get sued, get married, own a business, run a charity, pays taxes, smoke, sign a lease, get a divorce, etc would gasp partake of alochol!!! the horror!!!</p>
<p>My 20 year old daughter spent a semester in Belgium. They visited many monasteries which made beer! Then she had to come back to the goofy US and not drink because she had a State Dept security clearance and couldn’t break the law. I know my 20 year old S does not drink, but it wouldn’t bother me if he did. My just turned 18 year old D is doing a second course of Accutane for her acne and can’t drink alcohol, but I would not be surprised if she tried some in college. We’ll be in the Caribbean in July and she was thinking of trying some then, but now she can’t!</p>
<p>While most features of adulthood do occur at age 18, some do occur at other ages in the US (although with variation by state):</p>
<ul>
<li>14 to 18 – allowed to marry (with parental consent under 18)</li>
<li>14.25 to 17 – able to get driver’s license (often limited at first)</li>
<li>16 to 18 – sexual consent (often limited at first)</li>
<li>17 – allowed to join military (with parental consent; 18 without)</li>
<li>19 – allowed to purchase cigarettes in AL, AK, NJ, UT</li>
<li>19 (NE) or 21 (MS) – allowed to marry (without parental consent)</li>
<li>21 – allowed to purchase or possess alcoholic beverages</li>
<li>24 – no longer considered dependent on parents for undergraduate college financial aid purposes</li>
</ul>
<p>an 18 year old can do everything i mentioned, except have a drink. they can take presripction medicine, they can join the army, they can buy a car, they can get a credit card, they can take out loans, the can run for office, they can go to adult prision, they can get a law degree, but have a beer? run for the hills</p>
<p>Oh goodness no. I think that teens should have the opportunity to drink so they can understand it. Ideally this should happen at home or in another safe environment so they can not get hurt in any way. Alcohol needs to be demystified.</p>
<p>I’d also like all teens to be at the scene of an accident caused by alcohol. (Two of my kids have had this opportunity several times as they are on our local rescue squad.) Or some other alcohol-related accident.</p>
<p>I think I would have been shocked if my kids hadn’t been drinking in high school (in the context suggested by the OP). – and rather astounded if they weren’t drinking in college. </p>
<p>I think that the U.S. drinking age is more a law intended to reduce underage consumption rather than eliminate it, and perhaps put a damper on the behavior of the youngsters while drinking – similar to posted speeding laws. No one thinks that a posted speed limit of 50mph on a highway is going to prevent cars from going 60, but it probably slows down the average speed overall.</p>
<p>These are all just cultural norms - it’s not like there is any science-based reason why the US drinking age is 21, when most countries worldwide have a drinking age of 16-18 without it causing any additional social problems. </p>
<p>I grew up in a country where it’s legal to purchase alcohol at 18 (and to drink from the age of 5, with parental consent. It’s not like people are running around giving their small children alcohol, it’s just that teenagers aren’t arrested for drinking per se). As people are drinking in pubs, then there is someone there to realise that they are drunk, and to stop serving them, as is the law. When the drinking age is 21, it does nothing but push it underground to places where no one is keeping a lookout for others, and criminalising otherwise law-abiding young people. </p>
<p>A 20yo friend recently visited some friends of hers who are at a LAC. I can assure you that there was no shortage of alcohol, but it was all drank in a frat house. The law is clearly ineffective and arguably dangerous - whilst they were there someone drank so much that they ended up in hospital. </p>
<p>But back to the original question - would I be shocked if my under 21 had been drinking? No. In fact, I’d be stunned if they hadn’t started drinking.</p>
<p>If your <21 son or daughter partook in underage drinking? No, sadly, no.</p>
<p>So…would you be shocked? How would you feel if you found out your child was drinking? We would have the usual talk about it.</p>
<p>Would you feel a bit better if it was your 20 year old telling you they had a drink verses your 17 year old? Yes, actually, a lot better. I know that’s wrong, but true.</p>
<p>My D went to India when she was 18.
She didn’t tell me about her substance use, if any, & I didn’t ask.
I was shocked that she drove however. But she said the cows were large & moved slowly so that they weren’t a big problem.</p>
<p>Being SHOCKED that a person under 21 consumes alcohol, whether that child is mh offspring or not seems pretty silly. Alcohol is available to many people under 21 and my kids may have been around such people when they were under 21. We let them have sips of whatever we drank, on the few occasions when we drank alcohol. They also DID drink alcohol when they were in Taiwan for a month. They were under 21 but 18 and 20, I believe. They were with friends and it was legal for them to drink at that age. We were OK with it and they didn’t have any problems or get into any trouble.</p>
<p>I’m 17. My mom is an alcoholic, which probably either means she wouldn’t care if I drank or she’d be really, really mad. My dad would passive-aggressively lecture me and then forget about it.
(I don’t think they’re shocked by underage drinking in general, but they’d be shocked if it were me drinking because I always follow rules.)</p>