There’s such an important difference between “should I preemptively move to a single story house,” vs. “I’m in my 60s and I am moving, what sort of things might I consider in my new home?”
I think it’s essential for people of all ages (and this becomes even more important the older we are) to consider principles of universal design when looking at a home. As this isn’t only about getting older, but will you be able to actually bathe in your home if you have an accident or are temporarily needing crutches, a walker, or wheelchair?
I see folks here boasting about how much they exercise, and “use it or lose it” - I truly hope nothing befalls you, but I’d encourage you to consider that accidents just…happen. And the worst time to try and deal with any of these day to day challenges is after an accident.
Will you be able to bathe on your own if you want to? Will you be able to navigate through the doorways and hallways (i.e. are they wide enough for a wheelchair or walker to pass)? And is there a way to enter the house with perhaps the assistance of just one person without too much difficulty?
So if you are going to move regardless, I would absolutely recommend thinking through accessibility when it comes to bathrooms first and foremost, and next doorways, hallways, and ease of configurability.
This is something I had posted earlier about universal design and how to think about it when considering a home.
*I reference my parent’s experience. One of the reasons that she was also able to rehabilitate as much as she did, is because she wasn’t “stuck” in a hastily reconfigured former den or some such for endless hours. She was day in, day out, able to be physically present with everyone no matter where we were in the house. It’s something also to consider if you’re evaluating homes for a move: e.g. would I be content if I needed to move into the office with a twin bed in the corner…?
When we built the ADU in our backyard for my husband’s parents, the entire thing was built with universal design in mind. Large doorways and hallways. Bathroom with space for a wheelchair to turn, and flat floor shower. Kitchen and bathroom cabinets that could be easily modified for a wheelchair user. Walls with reinforcement for grab bars, etc. My husband’s parents thought this was all overkill at the time. They are still healthy and active and mobile, and still think it is overkill, but it sets MY mind at ease to know that we won’t have to move them out of that little house if they ultimately need a living space with those design features… and it’s good to know that space is there for me and my husband down the road too.
Two years ago, my mother fell and broke her kneecap. She was laid up with us after surgery for two months as she transitioned from wheelchair to walker. It was a good test of the “universal design” of our home. We have no stairs or thresholds inside the house, large hallways and doorways, one walk-in shower with built-in seat, and just a 4" lip between our courtyard and front door. She was able to maneuver everywhere easily. The only issue is that all of our counters are above standard height (no bending) which were almost above her head from the wheelchair. Those would be very expensive to retro-fit if it ever came to that for either me or DH, but we enjoy those high counters now. Something to consider if we move again.
My aunt and uncle had a house built when they were in their 60s, and you have to go up 13 very wide stairs, at least some with no railing, to get in their house from outside, and there is a stairway from the garage to the main level inside. It’s a waterfront home, and the garage would be fine if it flooded, and this prevents them from having to worry about the main house flooding. They do have the space to put in an elevator if they decide they need it (but of course it’s probably too late to actually get it done quickly if they need it). They do have a bedroom and bathroom on the main level, but it wasn’t a requirement for them and they still have to deal with all those stairs. Plus, their laundry is on the second floor.
I truly did not mean to boast. I think we’re all just trying to figure out how to deal with the challenges of aging. We each come out of our own personal experience, so it makes sense that different posters would emphasize different aspects of the problem. For example, DH and I are in our 50s, still working, with kids living at home in the summer and bringing lots of friends home for visits, so moving is hypothetical for us.
When I said “use it or lose it” I did not mean to sound flippant. I’m actually a risk-averse worrier, and I know first hand that health is mostly luck. I have a lot of anxiety about losing mobility (especially from taking care of my mother-in-law). Working on maintaining balance and fitness is the thing that helps me manage that anxiety. Steps are good for me (for now) because they are not a choice. I only have so much willpower.
This thread holds a lot of food for thought. I hope it’s useful to @Hoggirl in making her decision. It has made me consider whether we could turn our first floor study into a bedroom and put a shower in the bathroom, and whether my parents could do a similar renovation in their house. Y’all have inspired me to talk to them about it. Thank you!
No, I would not go to all of the effort to move and risk that in another year or two or three that I wouldn’t be physically able to negotiate stairs without pain (whether temporarily or permanently).
I would not move from a house I loved at 60 because it had stairs. But I also would think really carefully about how long I planned to live in the house before buying a new one at 60. If it’s a forever house it’s important to consider how a 78 year old would live there. If it’s a 10-15 year house go for it. Stuff does happen at any age but it seems to me so often that there are lots of “young” people in their early 70s and there are very few 80+ who are not showing their age.
Well, being a person who tends to “plant and grow roots”, there is no way I’d buy a house with all rooms on a second floor. We actually designed our house 20 years ago to stay in hopefully for another 20. Living, kitchen, master, office (easily convertible to a bedroom), and two full baths are all on one floor. If I have to move again it’s to a ranch style house. Having a stairless home kept both my mom and dad from both rehab and the necessity to move.
The simple fact of the matter is that older people, in general, don’t exercise nearly enough. And when they do exercise, they’re not doing the right exercises.
I see this first hand everyday in the gym. It’s filled with younger people, but very few older people.
Again, while I haven’t finished the book, Outlive, Dr. Attia writes about extending one’s healthspan, without the “four horsemen of chronic disease”, falls, etc.
So, while accidents happen, genetics plays a role, I don’t believe that extending our healthspan is mostly luck. But that’s IMO.
I’m not planning for the worst to happen, whether now, or 20 years from now. Life is not always linear, life has detours and I’ll deal with them then.
You might want to visit the Parents caregiving Parents thread and see how realistic your idea of determining your destiny as you age may be. It’s not living in fear, it’s making sure you have choices when the unexpected happens. (But we are all a bit off topic at this point)
I don’t think anyone is planning for the worst, they are planning for the inevitable. We have less control than many people believe, and acknowledgement of the obvious is practical, but not required.
All you can do is improve your odds. (I just finished Outlive, audio version from the library. Agree with the premise of not wanting to live forever… just wanting to improve odd of increased “health span”). And have some backup plans.
My 96 year old Dad was big into sports and then in later life walking. Also tried to get his “5 a day” fruits/vegetables. A big part of his longevity is probably good fortune, but he has outlived his younger sibs (and his parents lifespans) by quite a few years. I’ll try to follow his example, ha except for that house with so many darned stair. We have a downstairs den/guestroom with adjoining bathroom. Alas that shower is phone booth sized, tight for me but would be really hard for Colorado_dad.
There is actually room to make it bigger. At some point during the building proces the floorplan got changed to expand the bathroom a bit into the hall from the garage, but unfortunately the shower size stayed same. We’ve talked many times about expanding it, but it is in near-new shape. Another challenge is that for some reason the city records say no shower, so we’d probably need to investigate permitting requirements / correction.
Almost 30 years ago, when I was 38, I was hit by a car while walking. Both my legs were broken–one severely, one with a crack. I could just get around on a walker at first, crutches after a couple months, cane a year later. Eventually all healed. (Head injury too, but that’s another matter.)
Anyway, our primary house is a tiny sidehall colonial, three small rooms and half bath downstairs, two and a half bedrooms (S’s room never qualified as a complete room), and whole bath upstairs.
H took apart the dining room table, put a bed in the dining room. I could manage the tiny bathroom for toilet, washed up each morning at the kitchen sink with a hose attachment.
None of this was fun. Again, I was 38. I hope I don’t have to live like that again. This had nothing to do with what kind of shape I was in, but more to do with the car that didn’t see me.
I did slip and fall down our stairs about 12 years ago, thankfully they were very well padded and are “L” shaped, so just about 7 steps. It really hurt and I couldn’t move for a bit and my then 18 year old picked me up and put me on the sofa. To this day I don’t know how he did that.
So now I don’t fly down the stairs like I used to. I take it slower and lay my hand lightly on the handrail. I’m more mindful of my steps. I think once I caught myself. But I could slip on the kitchen floor, too!
Since you never know where you’ll end up, if you love this town home then get it. Sell it and move if you want later. I think at your age and health, it’s no big deal. Might be in 10 years, so cross that bridge then. Since you’ve already downsized from the family home and are a minimalist, it wouldn’t be a big deal to move again. I think you’re good.
We moved a year ago from an apartment on one level to a house on two plus a lower level studio. I initially looked for a house or apartment on one floor, but it really wasn’t possible in the area where we were looking, which is up in the hills. In our house, we enter from the top level, where there are two bedrooms plus a bath, and walk down winding stone stairs to the lower level where the kitchen and dining room are, as well as another bedroom and bath. There is then another set of stairs down to the pool or the guest studio. I have had rather poor depth perception since birth because I can use only one eye at a time, so I was worried about all those stairs. We looked into the possibility of an elevator in the house, but we would have had to tear out the whole staircase. So instead, we’ve installed wrought-iron handrails down the stairs. We also added handrails to all the stairs outside. So far, so good, and I am certainly more fit than I was a year ago. We might move again later if it becomes necessary for some reason - the previous owners moved to an apartment when the wife started using a wheelchair - but we’ll see. There’s also the possibility of using the lower-level bedroom, which my daughter is currently using, as well as the possibility of converting the studio into a caretaker/housekeeper’s apartment. I did take note of these ideas when we decided to buy, although I don’t particularly like to think about either of them. An ocean-view apartment is another appealing idea for the future, but my husband would have to make the momentous decision to get rid of all his stuff before we could think about doing that. For now, we enclosed two parking spaces to create a storage room. Among other things, he schlepped all of his mother’s tea ceremony equipment with us from Japan - I’m sure there is someone in France looking for that?