<p>I’m hoping those of you who have daughters interested in business or are women in business yourself can help me with this.This is something I’m struggling with now – pretty much figuring out my life. My mother went to business school in the mid-80s when 2 yrs and then b-school was the standard. She went on to get pretty established in a career before having us.</p>
<p>Now the standard has evolved to 5-6 years work experience, and then 2 years of business school. This scares me… somewhat. I want to get married and have a family (eventually, obviously) but I also want to have a career. I’ll graduate college at 22 1/2 work 5-6 years, then enter business school at 28? Finish at 30? Then get established in my career to the point where I feel like I can have children and it won’t negatively impact me – which would take a couple years? It seems difficult, and I’m unsure of what to do about it.</p>
<p>Give up on my desire to go to business school? Or put off having kids? I feel like one or the other has to happen, and while I know many women bear healthy children even into their 40s, I would like to have kids when I’m younger.</p>
<p>Most of the older women where I work had kids in the 30s and 40s. I think that this is true of a lot of the guys too. The norm here is advanced degrees and they do just take a chunk of time out of your life.</p>
<p>I’m hoping that our daughter will have what it takes for science or engineering but will suggest business if it appears that she isn’t cut out for those. What she does after undergrad is up to her. Two of my sisters did fine with undergrad degrees (one is a nurse, the other an accountant).</p>
<p>Oh I should also mention that my mother and grandmother both went through menopause early (for my mother, began when she was 43) so I’m worried about putting it off to the point where I “miss the window” so to speak.</p>
<p>Some of the women here have used high-tech methods to have kids and some have adopted in their mid-40s. I personally would have a hard time considering being a parent of a teenager in my mid-60s. I’ve read that the best childbearing years are in the 20s.</p>
<p>There really is never a convenient time to have kids.</p>
<p>Is the standard really 5 - 6 years of work after undergrad before going to B school? Seems to me like it could be done a lot sooner - after about 2 years of work. </p>
<p>I’m tempted to say that you’re looking too far into the future and life has a way of throwing you lots of curve balls that change all your best-laid plans… but I do think you have a valid point. There are many women in their mid and late 30’s struggling with infertility, because they delayed childbearing until their careers were established. And others who are torn between returning to a lucrative career that they have built a lifestyle around, or staying home with a long-awaited child. Then there are those like me, who had my children fairly young (married at 23, children at 26 and 29) who find that our children are growing up and leaving and somehow we never got around to having that fulfilling career we planned on, and wondering how to start a career (or improve a stagnant job path) in our mid-40’s or later.</p>
<p>I don’t know what to tell you except this: You can have it all. But I don’t think you can have it all at the same time. You seem to sort of intuitively grasp this, and are asking about the best sequence. That is a difficult question to answer. You are smart to be thinking about it this young, though!</p>
<p>You could also consider going to business school part time or at night while you are working or while your children are young if you become a stay at home Mom…</p>
<p>I have been having some discussions with various people on necessity of having a business degree. There are some senior people within investment banking (not the popular career right now) that do not think it is necessary to have a MBA if you are good at your job. Outside of banking, on the buy side or other line of business, a degree matters more. I am advising my daughter to work for a few years, then determine if a MBA is required for her line of work. Many firms do pay for MBA, and some top schools offer MBA programs on weekends. I think you do most of your work online, then get together once a month for 4-5 days. I am not sure if I would encourage my daughter to stop working for 2 years to get her MBA. I think it is reasonable to have kids between 30-40.</p>
<p>Lucky, you’re looking at life as though it were a straight linear pathway from point A to point B. The truth is, most lives don’t go that way.</p>
<p>My life is a good example. I majored in journalism in college. Graduated and ended up working initially in advertising and marketing. Took some courses here and there towards my MBA, but met and married my husband and ended up moving to the other side of the country before I could finish. I was in my mid-30’s when my first child was born, and by that time I was Vice President for strategic planning at a large financial institution. Six months after my daughter was born, I started another MBA program. I gave birth to my son when I was halfway through the program. Took my finals that semester looking like a whale, and gave birth shortly after. Funny thing though – when I finished that MBA, it was sorta “Been there, done that” and I decided to switch tracks. Started a successful home based business as a freelance writer. A few years later, I was tapped to write a series on educational issues, and became interested in higher education issues. Next thing I knew, I was in my 50’s, with a certificate program in college counseling under my belt, and working with disadvantaged youth as a school counselor. </p>
<p>The point is, when I was in my 20’s, I couldn’t have predicted all of these twists and turns. In fact, I would have laughed at the thought that I’d end up doing what I’m doing now because I was pretty sure my future was set in stone. I also thought, back then, that life WAS a linear process, and that I’d be a failure if I didn’t march lock step along some high charging business career path. Now, looking back my life, I see that what has made my life fulfilling and exciting are all of those twists and turns that I could never have imagined. The way I see it, I have a good 30 or 40 years left. It would be awfully boring if I knew how the rest of the story is going to turn out before I live it.</p>
<p>I think it was one of the Beatles who said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I think that is absolutely true. We should all make plans, but, we don’t all have to do things lockstep in a linear fashion and we need to give ourselves permission to not reach all of our goals. So, if going to business school is something you hope to do, make plans for it. But, don’t obsess over all of the things that might get in your way because the sure way NOT to get where you want to go is to start worrying about all of the what if’s that might stop you. Life will take you where you’re supposed to go, and I hope for you, as it has been for me, that the ride is a good one.</p>
<p>I have MBA, although it is not needed in my field at all, but it does help to find a job. I got my job after community college, my next few employers paid for my B. and MBA. I worked full time and had family (H. & S.). My H. was also going for his MBA while working full time. The only reason that he got it was (you probably quessed it right!) because his employer paid for it. </p>
<p>Everything is possible! Most important thing in life to make sure to focus on what you can control, and let go what you cannot, set your priority, and never listen to anybody except yourself. You are right - HR departments and Department managers love MBA even when it has nothing to do with performance on a job. the best of luck!</p>
<p>John Lennon said it, I think, in the song about his son Sean (re making plans).</p>
<p>I got an MBA together with a JD in a joint program immediately following undergrad. Although I practiced law for quite a few years, I am now working as an administrator in a medical practice, and I do use some of my business skills there. My background was not in business, and without the MBA, I probably would not have found the job to be agreeable. </p>
<p>THe whole delayed childrearing/infertility thing affects alot of people, and I know many who suffered through treatments, adoptions, etc. One friend who had kids first and then went to grad school avoided this. She also has a profession where she could work part time, which she did when her children were small. She worked more when they got older.</p>
<p>I personally wouldn’t wait until I got a career going to decide to have children. A lot of the women I know who became older mothers just did not meet anyone to marry too quickly because they were working so much.</p>
When you are a female and have a career outside the home, thinking about when to have children <em>is</em> difficult and many of us <em>are</em> unsure of what to do about it. That is my opinion and that has been my personal experience.</p>
<p>I have a Stanford MBA. I worked 12 years before I went back for it. That’s just the way my life worked out. It is true that the preponderance of my classmates were on the college>2 years work>MBA program “calendar.” But there were numerous variations.</p>
<p>I didn’t have my child until I was 38, and 2 years after my MBA. But that is not because I was juggling issues of education, career and child-bearing. It’s because I didn’t meet my husband until I was 33. As so many others have said, life is what happened while I was making other plans.</p>
<p>There will be moments in your career - if you are like me - where you wonder what effect it might have on your career future if you decide to have a child. And there is no way to predict in advance what those effects might be. Depends on so much - the culture of your company, your boss, your particular job responsibilities. </p>
<p>At one of my post-MBA jobs, I worried a lot about how my boss might perceive me if I decided to get pregnant. It so happens I got a better job offer before that issue actually arose. At that next job, it was a non-issue and I went ahead with my plans.</p>
<p>Just take one step at a time. You’re in college now. When you graduate and start your career, you can evaluate whether you’re even still interested in an MBA. The “standard” calendar may have changed by then. Even if it hasn’t, you don’t have to follow the standard. In my class we had tons of the “2-year” folks, a very very few immediate post-BA folks, a cluster of those like me already in their 30’s. You don’t have to follow the “standard” if it doesn’t suit you.</p>
<p>Wow, thanks for everyone’s responses. I’m really just feeling out the subject now - while I know life has a way of throwing you curve balls, I still think it’s worth it and useful to start thinking about these things now so I don’t close any doors in the future. I’m still just figuring it all out - not really making any concrete plans, but as a woman, I feel these are issues I need to be aware of. I’ve watched a lot of my mothers friends and colleagues struggle with infertility treatments like IVF or go down the long hard road of adoption, and I’ve seen how that can sometimes be miraculous and it can sometimes break your heart. I’d rather not go through it when I don’t have to - and I’d also like to be young(ish) as my children grow up – I don’t think I’ll have the energy otherwise!</p>
<p>The standard at most business schools is now 5-6 years. That’s why they’re noticing a slight drop in female applicants - many women in business aren’t as comfortable waiting that long before finishing higher education. Obviously 5-6 years is an average – some people go after 9 and some people go after 2 but those 2 years really need to be stellar in order for you to be considered at many good b-schools.</p>
<p>Obviously this all depends on finding Mr. Right, finding the right jobs, and ten million other things going a certain way. But I still think and occasionally worry about it - I’m considering applying to the Harvard 2+2 program, if any of you have any insights.</p>
<p>After getting my undergraduate degree, I took one semester off and then enrolled in Business school at night. Worked a full day & then took classes after work & even on Saturdays some semesters. I do live in NYC, so I had some get universities to choose from. I realize lots of young adults now quit their full-time jobs after a few years to go back to school full-time. In this economy, I don’t know how easy that is to do anymore.</p>
<p>During my last semester of Business school, I was pregnant with my first. Several of my classmates were also expecting their first as well. I was ready to have children in my 20’s & that’s what I did.</p>
<p>One benefit of working full-time and earning a degree at night is when you work for a company that has a tuition remission benefit. My MBA was paid in full by my company - & then I went on maternity leave!!</p>
<p>Night school is definitely an option I would recommend.</p>
<p>NYmama, good points! Unlike medical, law or graduate schools, there are many very reputable evening MBA programs, and in my field (biotechnology), it does not seem to matter much where an executive got his or her MBA - Harvard or UW evening program. Tuition reimbursment programs offered by many employers make evening programs even more desirable in my opinion.
OP, you’ll be surprised how “portable” a baby can be. The troubles start when they become teenagers, so my advice would be “have them while you are still young and full of energy and do not postpone graduate or professional school until your kid can drive.”</p>
<p>NYMama beat me to it. Didn’t get an MBA, but did get professional certification (11 courses) in my field paid for by my employers. Did some while DH was in grad school and I had time on my hands, did some when the kids were very young.</p>
<p>I started my MBA, but dropped out when I had kids. I simply could not afford to continue. I had decided not to return to work after my first child was born, and cutting our family income in half didn’t leave room for grad classes (especially since there was no longer a tuition reimbursement from my employer after I left). I finally returned to work full time recently, and I don’t think my job search would have been helped by an MBA. I live in an area with 8.5% unemployment. I had a hard enough time finding a job - too qualified on one hand, too long away from full time work on the other hand. I have no regrets. I could return to school for free now, if I wanted to do so. Maybe I will, but nothing seems to interest me at this point …</p>
<p>I do encourage my kids to get either grad or professional degrees. Personally, I think it’s just too easy to get a bachelors degree these days. Having a grad/professional degree is almost a necessity for your generation, IMO. How to fit it in? However it happens to work out for you. Let life lead you.</p>
<p>I truly enjoyed being a stay at home mom. It’s not for everyone, though. You will not know for sure whether or not you like it until you try it. In the meantime, your best bet is to develop a career that will lend itself to part time, at-home, free lance, or similar work … one that you can actually return to after an extended absence, if need be. This way, you’ll be covered no matter what.</p>
<p>Do not obsess about possible future issues. Relax and make plans based on your current situation and desires for further education. You can’t predict when, or if, Mr. Right will come along so plan your life to get whatever degrees you envision helping your career. Deciding when to have children is dependent on your age- in your early/mid twenties you face a different timeline than if you finally meet the right guy in your thirties. It is far easier to go to school without the added responsibilities/distractions of children, consider this if marriage comes sooner rather than later. Other posters have given some different scenarios- the important thing for you right now is to continue to have career goals and to maintain flexibility as your situation changes. When the time comes to make choices between family and work you will have more timely information regarding the costs/benefits to help guide you. You can always opt out of school or career later, but if you don’t pursue the necessary skills now it could be impossible to meet those goals.</p>
<p>I’m a b-school professor, teach MBAs (and have one and a PhD too in business). Also a mom. </p>
<p>Like others have said, hard to map it out. I know the desire to plan, and it’s not a bad idea to plan, but the reality is life usually goes quite differently and its very hard to know in advance the path it will take. Especially so when you are thinking both in terms of career and parenting.</p>
<p>You needn’t 5-6 years work experience. 2 will do. If you do an MBA. But there is always an undergrad in business and that may serve your purposes, whatever they turn out to be. </p>
<p>There are some decent 1 years MBA programs (12 mos) you might consider. </p>
<p>I think the idea of a part-time MBA when you have kids is not a good idea. Just my humble opinion but from my experience of teaching part-time MBA students for years and I think its very very challenging time/stress wise. Parenting is hard enough- doing an MBA ‘on the side’ – wow. Its a LOT of years of grind too. </p>
<p>The 20s and 30s are a complicated time for women on professional career paths who also want families. NO matter the career. There isn’t one right way to do it but most seem to find a way that works for them (but going back to my earlier point, its near impossible from your vantage point to know what that way will be yet).</p>
<p>I think its great you are thinking about not postponing kids until too late and its something my generation did not fully consider. I know one too many women who were unable to have kids who waited. I think most of us underestimate how dramatically the odds of conception change with age.</p>
<p>I don’t see particularly compelling reasons to hold off on having kids until everything is absolutely, perfectly established in your life since a) that may never happen anyway b) there’s no perfect time to have kids, though of course some better than others c) you can work and/or go to school even while you have kids - especially once your kid/s are in school and d) if children are important to you, then it seems strange to put them off for over a decade waiting for things to be just right when that’s actually impossible.</p>
<p>I know a lot of women are waiting until their thirties or forties to have children, and that’s fine, but there’s no reason you in particular couldn’t have them earlier.</p>