<p>^At least the grands took their adult S & D and the grands in. I know grands who refuses and the adult children were so resentful. The situation got very ugly. </p>
<p>For me, the question is where does the parents’ obligations end ? The situation I am thinking of the adult children have adult children of their own - the grand children are in their 30s at least. I thought the next generation (grand children) should step up, not the older generation (grand parents).</p>
<p>Yes, to me, I can understanding a young adult shortly after s/he completes schooling & is looking to find jobs that pay enough to meet expenses. I don’t think it’s right to EXPECT the grands to help adults in their 50s/60s and the grandkids who are in their 30s & up. At some point, the grands have to learn to make it about THEM. What if they help everyone out & then run out of money for THEIR OWN needs? Who will bail them out & help them pay their bills? What sorts of strings would be attached?</p>
<p>This is especially the case where the financial situations involved are largely due to lifestyle choices of the people asking for help/handouts. People outliving their savings, pensions and assets is a real concern and issue these days, especially in families like mine, who are known to live beyond 100 years!</p>
<p>As a parent with some financial security, I often wonder where obligation to one’s children ends and where privilege begins. I can envision choices like - do I fund that $100,000 for the grands education or…a very nice around the world cruise for ourselves …</p>
<p>I come from a background where there are no boundaries and no limits and honestly, I saw a lot of problems first hand.</p>
<p>When a job change required us to relocate, family members gave us a bridge loan to tide us over when we had to move prior to the sale of our current home. This allowed us to house-hunt in the new location. We paid back every cent plus interest.</p>
<p>I hope to be able to do the same.</p>
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<p>This is where the question of “Why are you in financial difficulty” comes in. Those of us who have raised children who already show that they’re responsible are more likely to want to help our adult children, knowing that our children will not ask except as a last resort. That’s very different than having children who expect to be bailed out of bad choices.</p>
<p>For the children (and I include myself, even though I’m over 50 and my parents are both gone), it’s freeing and comforting to know that if something happened so that they can no longer care for themselves or need help in caring for their family (a disabled child, so they had to stop working to care for the child, for example), there’s a backstop.</p>
<p>I’m not sure how long I would backstop an irresponsible kid.</p>
<p>Financial obligations end at 18. We fund colleges because we can but no more than that.
BTW, I noticed an ad from Disneyland(when I go on cc) for a full time job for those over 18 that pays close to $12/hour. That works out to be $24K/ year. That seems like enough to live somewhere.</p>
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<p>This one is a no brainer in my mind. The hope is that one’s children will be in a position to fund their kids educations, but if that were not the case for whatever reason and I could easily afford to help, the grandchildren’s education would come first every time.</p>
<p>Helpin currently my Medical Student and very proud of the fact that I can.</p>
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Perhaps, but not in southern California, where Disneyland happens to be.</p>
<p>Chedva, it’s doable with shared housing. D1 is going to pay $700/800 a month.</p>
<p>I see both sides. My sil and bil have been on the family dole since they were born. Now, mid 60s, sil was disinherited (as was her brother). Second wife…whatever. Bil “worked” for my fil. He must have put in 4 hours a month. Now he is waiting for mil to die for the money. He is, and always has been, a leech.</p>
<p>If my kids, who work hard, came and needed money. Yes. They have always worked. If I have it…we share. That is what a functioning family, in my opinion, does. But “expect” a full life’s ride based on a future pot of gold…that makes me a bit uncomfortable.</p>
<p>We do, so I have to say we would. I also have to say that we don’t have any hard and fast policy as we have not had to have it. If ever it happens where our help becomes a crutch or an enabling situation, DH and I would have to sit down and come up with some guidelines. But for right now, we just pay as we go, since the numbers have not been way high, and we can do it, and they are not for necessities. But anything like this is not a stable situation, and can have all kinds of curveballs that have to be addressed as they occur.</p>
<p>Heck, my mom still gives me money. : ) She’d be hurt if I didn’t take it, too.</p>